


You could call it love - I'd rather die.

by LovingYouThatWay



Series: You could call it love. [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bang Chan is Whipped, Bottom Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Drug Addiction, Falling In Love, Felix is hard to get, Fuckbuddies, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mafia AU, Past Violence, Porn With Plot, Shameless Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Threats of Violence, Top Bang Chan, this fic is a MESS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-06-27 16:41:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 59,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19794859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingYouThatWay/pseuds/LovingYouThatWay
Summary: Felix can't love. He doesn't want to love, he doesn't need love. His life is filled up with violence and blood. He finds the perfect guy in a night out with his so-called friends. A guy who is pretty and disturbed enough to get his attention.When the night is over, he wants to forget about Chan, but he doesn't expect to get searched up by him and he definitely doesn't want to talk to Chan when he runs into him at his favorite coffee shop one morning.





	1. The perfect stranger.

For most of the rich kids life can be rather uneventful, but that is not the case when it comes to Felix. With a father at the top of the black market for arms, it is expected to have a pretty intense life full of dark and unpleasant memories. Felix was born in Australia, because his father was worried someone might try to get to him through his child, so he sent his pregnant wife to live there, supposedly a more sheltered life. Unfortunately, that is not how things went. When Felix was three he was kidnapped by someone who killed his mother when they broke into their house. Someone extremely skilled, because they managed to get in unnoticed by any cameras or guards. His mother tried to protect him with her life, and in the end, she could not do it and she lost her life. After that, he was safely returned to his father only after he paid a tremendous amount of money those people wanted.

From then on Felix kept moving houses, his father started changing his guards frequently and he also sent his grandmother to Australia to take care of him. All of this didn’t work out too well, because by the age of 17 he was kidnapped 8 times. At one point he was skilled enough to fight off the people who were trying to take him away, but that was only after he turned 14.

_He was kept in a dark humid room with no food or water for days. His eyes sunk into his skull because of malnourishment and lack of sleep. He was still a child, and he still possessed emotions, he was scared. When his kidnappers finally appeared they shoved him to sit on a chair and tied his arms before they told him what they were about to do. They were wearing masks of Ninja Turtles. (Felix still hates to see the Ninja Turtles.) They were going to film him getting tortured and send the video to his father. At that moment Felix was shaking and crying, but those people didn’t care. They claimed that his father mistreated them. Felix hated his father so much. He had seen him only three times, and the only thing he got from being related to him was stress, pain, and trauma._

_They started recording stating what they wanted, pointing a flashlight at Felix’s pale face. It was unexpected when while they were speaking one of the guys stabbed his thigh with a knife Felix could not see before that. These idiots didn’t know that when they were talking to the camera Felix had his hands untied already, stupid of them to think he would be unable to do that. That was one of the first things he was taught how to do. He let out a grotesque shriek, but something in his face changed. His tiers died down, and he aggressively pulled out the knife from his leg and stabbed the guy who did it. In a matter of seconds, without even getting up from the chair he killed 3 people. He killed all of them._

After the first time he killed people, he wasn’t the same bright child. Whatever interests he had, he let go of them and started training more intensely, started paying attention to his father’s business and stopped seeing his old friends. After that when he used to get kidnapped he was just playing with the people who thought they had the upper hand. And he was going out without a scratch. Sometimes he even forgot to mention it to his father. The last time it happened he was 17 ,and he was so fed up with it, he asked his father to bring him to Korea. Which his father did.

In Korea, Felix had to work on his Korean skills. He made new friends who seemed pretty loyal and actually enjoyed being around Felix. They helped him a lot with his Korean, but he never felt a bond. He even thought he wouldn’t bat an eye if they were to be killed in front of his eyes. They were fun sometimes, and they always helped Felix when he had some extra “work”. Minho and Hyunjin, were kids of his father’s left and right hand. He was told he could trust them. This is why he never did. He didn’t want to experience friendship, he wanted to get the job done. And they were helpful and fast. Felix liked that.

What he didn’t like was that they were too demanding. They wanted his attention, they wanted to hang out outside of work and they have been doing this for 3 years now. They would shove their annoying faces in Felix’s and would threaten him with kisses if he didn’t comply with their wishes. Of course, he would cave in, who would want to be kissed by these ugly heads.

Felix would know if they weren’t ugly. Because he was gay. He liked pretty and disturbed guys. Not as disturbed as Minho and Hyunjin, though. Just the kind that is disturbed enough to play his game, to let themselves be used and thrown away. Someone who was wild enough to go down on Felix, but not get a blowjob in return. Felix didn’t care about other people’s pleasure. He was handsome, or even pretty enough to afford that. Guys would chase after his ass to get him in their bed. And he didn’t mind as long as they were willing to leave before the sun showed up. It was easier and it was safer. He didn’t want to fall in love and witness the death of the person he loves. He didn’t want to face the same thing his father did. So, he learned how to isolate himself from emotions.

His position, that was assigned to him by his father, was keeping him busy anyway. So he could use it as an excuse when someone questioned his lifestyle. Like Minho and Hyunjin. Felix wondered why did they care so much, when he was sure they knew very well, if he had to choose between finalizing a deal and saving their lives, he would choose the first. It was weird to him, to be surrounded by that drama queen Hyunjin and the questionably calm but randomly wise Minho. They always insisted to take him out with them when they were going out on their occasional Friday night man-hunt. Most of the time he would not go, but sometimes he would go, just to get a bit tipsy (because a person who had been kidnapped almost 10 times, should always be conscious and aware. The trauma from all these abductions was still tormenting him and there were a few occasions when he fought some of his one-night stands in his dream, before he wakes up dripping in cold sweat), and maybe someone to fuck and relieve some stress.

And tonight Hyunjin was just utterly upset, which became the reason why Minho was taking down shots of tequila while their friend was pouring his emotions out. And he had a lot to say….

“And this asshole thinks that he can have the keys to my apartment, come over for sex whenever he feels like it and imagine this….” Hyunjin said, fighting with the loud music inside their favorite club 'District 9’ while everyone around them was having fun, he was whining like a bitch. “....last night i was in my dad's house for dinner and then i came back to the apartment, catching this dickhead in my fucking bed, balls deep in some asshole. I was devastated by his bravery. But his dick won't function soon i swear. I will hire a hitman and end his fucking playboy life!”

“Really, Hyunjin?” Minho shook his head. “You had to just kick his ass out and that's it.”

“Of course that’s what you get when you try to maintain a relationship. I will never understand why you keep doing this, only to end up venting for five hours in this shit hole. It’s really annoying!” Felix snapped and slammed his empty whiskey glass on the table.

“This is where all the big dicks are,Lix” Minho copied what Hyunjin would reply if he wasn't upset and poured more alcohol in the blonde’s glass before giving it back to him. “Just pick another dick, baby…. It’s not the end of the world. We might submit to assholes but that doesn't mean we are weak right?”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes at him. “You just have the sadistic need to make your partner suffer. I like to give them head instead and bend down”

Felix snorted and slapped Hyunjin’s shoulder “You know, there’s always one of the two who suffers, and I’m done with the suffering.”

“I like relationships in general.Having a fuckbuddy is more fun than being with some creeps” Hyunjin spoke back to him then.  
“And you let the creeps have the key for your apartment. Very wise….you can get killed soon.”. Minho said without even looking at them and his eyes were locked somewhere else as a smile spread across his full lips. “Damn i found my devil.”

“I really don’t care who you’re fucking, so please don’t get in my business as well. Cuz that’s what you always talk about. Sex. Dicks. Someone’s abs.. Don’t you have anything else to do? Like, look at Minho… your brain melted just by looking at some guy….” Felix stated while pointing at the dude Minho was watching, and it didn’t look as subtle as Minho wished.

“I’ve heard of him.” Minho replied and broke the eye contact when his aim wasn’t looking at him, of course, due to Felix and his savage actions. “You know how my dad deals with bets? Jisung is the one who collects the money for the best for the MMA fights in that shit hole ‘Demonium’. So he’s kind of hot, rich also. I can totally get his dick.”

“Why would you deal with a dog like him?” Hyunjin got out of his own drama and rolled his eyes at the said guy who was sitting at the bar with two others, who were definitely talking about them now, because they had these smiles on their faces that promised nothing but a great time and Hyunjin felt triggered by that sight. “Oh damn, forget that guy. Look at the blonde one. He looks so hot.”

Felix didn’t pay attention to that group at first, but when Hyunjin let out a dramatic sigh he rolled his eyes before he finally graced the three guys with his attention. The guy Minho liked was ok, but the blond one was coming off a lot more strong. He had these intense eyes and his jaw was clenched almost beautifully when his friends were saying something to him that didn’t make him agree. Felix liked the strong aggressive aura of the guy. He definitely screamed trouble even by the way he was dressed. It made Felix wonder if he looked ridiculous compared to that guy with his black leather jacket covered with studs on the shoulders. He was wearing a black shirt under the jacket with a huge pentagram and Felix almost smirked when he noticed the way the guy was holding a cigarette in his hand. Felix liked that - the guy seemed disturbed enough to get his attention. His white skin and blond hair were a pretty contrast to the fully black look.

“And we have a winner.” Felix muttered while smirking and circling the rim of his glass with his index finger.

“You bitch.” Minho said as he didn’t even look bothered. They were all used to lose to Felix when it came to flirting and Felix wasn’t even doing anything. He was just judging everyone way too hard. Sometimes Minho even wondered how and by what standard was Felix picking up his bed partners. “Have I ever mentioned that I hate your beauty?”

“I don’t know, but the black-haired one just grabbed his dick while looking at me.” Hyunjin said and cocked an eyebrow. “They think we are some easy catch, you know? Look away, brothers. We don’t deal with confident assholes like that. I want respect.” He said and looked away first, as a snob, taking his drink in his hand. “I’d rather stick my biggest dildo up my ass for the night.”

Minho smiled, but again, he wasn’t even bothered by Hyunjin’s attitude. “I can help you with that, baby.” He said and rubbed his friend’s knee.

While his friends were being weird again Felix was just looking ahead, he was sure that the blond disturbed guy was staring at him, but he knew how to play that game. In order to get what you want without letting them expect anything in return you have to be very calculative. So, he took a slight look at the guy behind his shoulder, pretending to be looking at the whining Hyunjin. The guy was smirking, but Felix wasn’t sure if he was giving him green light or the guy noticed Hyunjin’s weird movements.

“Come on…” Felix whispered. He turned to look ahead and started tapping nervously on the table. He never felt excited about hookups, but this guy was making him wait. This was new. Felix felt a weird thrill about it, can he get the guy? “Come on…” he kept talking to himself.

This time, he turned to look back more obviously to take a better look and he was sure that those eyes were definitely glistening in that animalistic way because he was actually smirking at Felix, so he smirked back. That seemed to do the trick because the blond was quick to get on his feet and approach Felix.

Both Minho and Hyunjin stilled for a moment while the guy was stepping closer, walking like a lion, his back straight and his expression looking strong and pleased. And both of Felix’s friends knew when to start acting, so they turned away and started some dumb conversation just to make it easy for Felix to get that blonde’s dick (even if Minho desired it as well).

And the guy didn’t disturb Felix like other assholes usually did, he even kept himself at a distance, jumping on the tall chair next to Felix and gifted him with another smirk.

“Hey.” He greeted shortly, studying Felix’s face with such interest that it was almost fun to watch. “Is everything good with you?”

The guy looked so much better from up close. He actually had a handsome face, he wasn’t the usual pretty type Felix was going for. There was also something adorable about the fact that the guy is lame at flirting. But Felix could handle that.

“Did you come all the way here just to ask that?” He laughed in the guy’s face, but it wasn’t a mean mocking laugh. It was a laugh that rarely comes from Felix and that guy at least made him laugh.

The blonde shrugged. “I don’t know, you just gave me a different vibe.” He said and kept staring, biting his full bottom lip shortly before he kept talking. “It would be rude to expose my intentions and get turned down, right? I can at least ask you a dumb question before asking you if you’ll like to leave this place with me?” He said and shrugged. “It all comes down to this anyway.”

Felix smirked again and got up from his place. “We shouldn't be wasting time talking when you’re so bad at it.” He pulled the guy by the arm taking him away from his friends, without even saying bye to them. He pulled the blond all the way until they went out of the club. “So. Your place or mine?”

“This is very surprising.” The blonde said and threw Felix a weird look before answering. “Your place.” He ended up saying and looked like he was in deep thought for a moment before he turned to face Felix and finally made a move on him, taking his face in his hands to get his attention fully on himself. “I’m gonna fuck you so bad, pretty boy.”

Felix didn’t say anything, because he was taken aback by the sudden change in the guy’s behavior, but he was feeling the blond way too much, so he pressed his body in the other’s and whispered. “Hurry up then.”  
“My car is over there.” The blonde said and caressed his skin affectionately before stepping away from Felix, turning his back at him to give him another nice view - of his back and ass in these black clothes, while he was walking to a black fancy sports car, unlocking it from a distance.  
Felix followed the guy, he kept some distance until he got in the car and felt the tension. That was also weird. There was something in the atmosphere that disturbed Felix. The blond started the car and he didn’t say a word besides asking for the address. Thankfully, Felix had many places he could go to, so he just gave the address of the nearest apartment he had in the area. He never brought his hookups home.

He felt weird about the fact that this guy didn’t even ask what’s his name, or that he wasn’t staring at him like all his previous hookups did. He could see how they worship him with their eyes, but this guy was becoming more creepy by the second. He was changing gears and Felix cursed at himself for wanting to jump the guy. Maybe he was the weird one for wanting disturbed boys, and not the blond.

When he stopped in front of a huge parking lot, the blonde raised an eyebrow and glanced aside at Felix, giving him a sign to get out. When he did, the stranger followed close behind until they went inside the building and Felix lead them to his apartment.

“Nice area. Seems peaceful for one night stands.” The blonde commented while Felix was unlocking the door and when he opened the door, the guy waited for just a moment before he went for the act.

Felix closed the door behind their backs and the stranger kept looking around the wide modern room, staring at every corner of it like he was in a freaking apartment for the first time in his life and when he was done observing, he turned around, praising Felix with a playful smile.

“Chan. That's my name.” He said while taking off his jacket, exposing a full sleeve of tattoos on his right arm, twirling around his biceps, locking down at his wrist, but he didn’t stop there as he pulled his demonic vest over his head as well and tossed it on the ground, cutting the short distance between them. He literally knocked Felix against the wooden door and blocked his movements with his body, keeping him there while his hands moved under what Felix was wearing, touching his warm skin with a pleased look in his eyes.

“What's your name, pretty?”

“Felix.” Felix panted and pulled Chan for a kiss. It was short and innocent, but he wanted to taste those lips. While he didn’t want to seem too desperate. “You talk too much.”

“Really?” The blonde mocked him and slid his right hand straight down, palming Felix’s crotch and the sweet gasp that he earned with that made him press a better kiss on Felix’s lips, parting his lips with his insistent tongue and when Felix gave him entrance, he squeezed his cock and kissed him deeply, not really giving Felix time to do anything. His lips quickly moved aside, making a wet path to Felix’s neck and he stopped there, nibbling over the heated up skin there while his big palm rubbed the boy until he was hard.

“You like this, don’t you? To get attention and you know, Felix, i want the same from you.” He spoke before he reached to undo Felix’s jeans, button by button until he head a clear path to his boxers. “I’m gonna work you up so good that when you go down to suck my dick, you will be impatient to have it.”

Felix pushed Chan off himself, and frowned at him. “Listen here.” He started, looking at a pretty confused disturbed Chan. “I don’t suck dicks. Ever. So it’s take it or leave it.”

“Are you threatening me now, sweetie?” The blonde seemed very amused by what he said, but didn’t mistreat Felix as instead of that he continued touching him, bringing his filthy hand back where it was and moved it in the spot that he created for himself, touching his hardening member through the thin fabric of his boxers. “Don’t do that, it's better for you.”

Felix let a low grunt at Chan’s ministrations, and for a second he forgot how to think. He wasn’t generous like Chan so he wasn’t attempting any touching even, and that guy dared to ask for a blowjob.  
“I’m saying it the way it is. It’s either you fuck me and go, or nothing at all.” He rolled his eyes when Chan squeezed him a bit harder.  
And as if the other got the hint without much protesting, he removed his hand and leaned closer to Felix’s ear, speaking directly with his sweet but nasty voice.  
“I’m gonna tell you my rules then. Its either you let me fuck you without a condom or i’m out of here, sweetie.” He said and pulled back to give Felix a look that seemed very demanding, before he reached down for his own pants, popping the button open.

“You’re clean, right?” Felix deadpanned at the guy. He wasn’t sure why did this guy want to do that. How could he be sure that Felix himself is clean. Felix took out the condoms he had in the pocket of his shirt and threw them on the floor.

“I will let you wonder about that a bit more.” Chan said and winked at him before he gripped Felix’s right wrist and spun him around too fast, pushing him face to the door and his hands started tugging Felix’s jeans lower on his hips, until they slid down to his knees and Felix had no idea what the other was doing back there until he felt Chan’s hands on his body again and the other forced him to bend over a bit.

“Should I eat you out or just finger you?” The blonde asked and a moment later a wet finger was already pressing at his unprepared hole, teasing it along with warm breath that he was releasing while being down on his knees.

“Can you fucking stick it in me already?” Felix whined, and felt like facepalming at how needy it sounded. That guy was playing with him in a way none of his previous hookups did. He is not worshipping him the same way they did and he wasn’t sure if he liked it. “You seriously talk too much.”

“Is that annoying you, sweetie?” Chan said in a teasing low voice and he slid not one, but two fingers all the way in him, earning a surprised moan that made him keep his fingers in for a while, but then he repeated the action, bringing his lips to the side of Felix’s hip bone, kissing his skin soothingly. “You haven’t seen my dick. You should get ready for it.” He kept talking and his fingers moved together faster, staying deep in Felix.

“I haven’t seen your dick because you’re too busy giving me pep talks.” Felix said and pushed himself on Chan’s fingers. At least the guy was good at this, he was hitting the right spot, but Felix didn’t want that yet. “I wanna look at your face.” This time his voice was almost a whisper and his sweaty forehead hit the door.

“I don’t care what you want.” The other said and pulled his fingers out and Felix figured that he stood back on his feet because his face was closer to his now, and he could feel Chan’s movement down there while he was tugging his pants down. “We both don’t get what we want, right? Its only fair if i fuck you like this.” And with that, Chan playfully bit Felix’s earlobe, pulling his bottom back towards himself and then what Felix could feel was the tip of his dick, trying to pass through his rim of muscles.

Felix’s back arched at the feeling of finally being penetrated. It has been a while and he was a bit more needy than usual. When Chan pushed his dick slowly, which Felix appreciated, he let out a loud clear moan. “Fucking finally!” He managed to say and brought his arm under his forehead because he felt like Chan would start pushing him into the door hard in anger that he didn’t want to suck his dick. He noticed that Chan was thick and big enough to take some time before his thighs start slapping into Felix’s. He was working him slowly, and Felix would complain, but he couldn’t do that. He wasn’t gonna give Chan what he wanted. “Oh, God.” Felix breathed out and the only thing he could feel was Chan’s meat pounding him hard and sending away every clear thought from his brain.  
“Say my name, sweetie.” Chan said through gritted teeth and kept fucking him slowly, holding Felix’s waist to keep him in place and also control their thrusting, and his fingers were digging so hard in his flesh that Felix could notice how tensed up he was. “Say it loud.” He demanded again and changed the pace without warning, finally going faster on him, making it hard for the other to keep himself in that position.

“Fuck you,” Felix pan noted “like, seriously, fuck you. We don’t get what we want tonight, remember?” Felix looked at Chan with the side of his eyes. “Let me look at your face.” He said again. But Chan was a mean one, he kept pounding in Felix extremely slow, and Felix bit his lip in order not to moan.

“Are you holding back yourself now?” Chan noticed that and smirked, going raw on him as if he wanted to hear out every single sound that Felix could create in his bliss and he put one hand on Felix’s back to bend him over more, which changed the angle of his thrusts and this time Chan moaned weakly, not sparing any satisfied sound as he kept thrusting fast in him, chasing after his own release.

“God.” Felix whined quietly. “The dick is good…” his speech was cut off when Chan hit that spot again “I’ll give you that.” Chan kept thrusting into him as if he wanted to make Felix shut up, so he did. He bit his bottom lip hard, not letting most of the sounds he was making come out.

And the blonde stranger started to suddenly do that instead of him, fucking him messily as if he was close, but he wasn’t telling Felix anything as he just kept the same fast pace, scratching Felix’s back out of frustration and his groans suddenly died with a few last thrusts that filled up Felix and Chan’s hands gripped him hard for a moment, still thrusting in him to get all of his load deep in him.

“Fuck, you made me cum so fast. That's actually surprising.” The blonde spoke after a moment, pulling out of Felix, but replaced his dick with his fingers way too fast and started finger fucking him, bringing his free hand to Felix’s front. “If you don’t whine like a bitch now i will fucking leave you, do you get that, sweetie?”  
“I hate you so much…” Felix sighed while trying to collect his breath. “Fucking do me already Cha..an.” He made sure to elaborate a bit more when whisper-shouting the name. “Please…” He wasn’t happy about it but he wanted to cum, and Chan obviously knew what he was doing.

He seemed to change his mind and second after his actions because he pulled his fingers out and forced Felix to turn around and face him, pressing one palm on his abs to push him against the door and looked up at him with the prettiest smirk on the planet.

“Watch me now.” He said lowly and used his other hand to stroke Felix’s hardness again, leaning towards it to put it in his mouth, taking as much as he could without even gagging.

“Fuck yes!” Felix groaned when his dick hit the back of Chan’s throat and it was only natural to him to start thrusting hard, but when he dropped his hand to pull at Chan’s hair it was questionably soft for bleached hair. “Oh, God, Chan you’re so good.” He said affectionately.

He kept thrusting until he could feel his release coming and then he slowed down a bit, because Chan was so good to him and didn’t even complain. He literally let Felix make a mess of his mouth and Felix moaned particularly loud when Chan helped him at the end when he pushed Felix to lean on the door and sucked him till his release.

When he was done he pulled back and licked his full lips, looking up at Felix to let him witness the nasty action of him, picking up the cum from his chin and lick that away as well.  
“You taste good, sweetie.” He shot Felix a wink and kept staring at him while he was coming down from his high. “I’d like to taste you again, but you know, its not my style.”

“You know” Felix started and crushed his body on the floor. “You’re really hot, and you’re good at this...but” He looked up at Chan who was staring at him with that satisfied look like he won something “you suck.” He finally said because he couldn’t think of anything else that would make more sense. He was confused by that dude.

“Don’t hurt my feelings now, just because I lack romance and I made you face the wall. The door.” he corrected himself and laughed for the first time, staring at Felix in a weird, affectionate way.

“Don’t you dare smiling at me.” Felix kept looking at Chan under his sweaty bangs. “Seriously dude, I would have killed you if you didn’t have a face like that.” Felix laughed almost hysterically. “I think I’m flirting backward. We fucked and now I'm trying to pick you up.”

“That should flatter me, right?” The other said and his smile dropped for a moment, while he went back to staring at Felix like a freak. “So I guess asking for your number is not allowed?” He asked and stood up from the ground, getting himself back in shape, tugging everything back on his body, zipping his pants even, but his eyes stood down on Felix through the whole time as if he was expecting his answer way too impatiently.

“I…” Felix was thinking about it. He was watching Chan’s every movement and he knew he was suspiciously attracted to the guy, but then a flash of the blond’s smile dying on his face, his body going cold and his eyes dropping closed helped Felix pull himself together. He didn’t want to start something he would end up losing. “I like your smile,” Felix said and smiled bitterly “I can’t.” He said shortly and picked himself from the ground feeling Chan’s load inside himself.  
“I understand.” Chan said with a blank, unbothered face and stepped closer to Felix, cupping the side of his face with one hand and leaned closer to peck his lips. “Goodby then, sweetie.” He told Felix and parted his lips with his tongue when he kissed him deeply again, making this look way more intimate than it needed to be.

Felix unintentionally wrapped his arms around Chan’s waist and let himself for once get taken away by the moment. It wasn’t like he felt anything, but Chan felt safe and the kiss was going on for longer than he expected.

The blonde parted for him after a moment and licked his lips to save the taste, making a step back from Felix as he escaped his arms easily and threw him one of his playful looks “Take care… and don’t fuck strangers so easily. It might backfire.” He said and picked his vest and jacket from the ground, reaching behind Felix to open the door and leave.

Felix made way for Chan to leave and closed the door behind him. It was a pity he couldn’t make a fuck buddy of him, but at least he got to get fucked by him and it was good. He wondered why people invested so much in relationships when you can get a random stranger to fuck you good, just like what Chan did, although he was a bit too demanding.

After he managed to catch his breath and fix his clothes he went to the garage to pick one of the cars there and go home. The place where he actually lived. He left the apartment leaving all traces of Chan there.


	2. Make another move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter is up ^^ share some thoughts if you liked it~!

The dim lights along with the deep bass of the club music were ringing in his ears, pulling the strings of his nerves and even though he was high as fuck, he still enjoyed the sound, the intimate atmosphere and the people who were throwing him looks.

He adjusted the black glasses on the bridge of his nose and smirked, openly smoking weed on his way through the large corridor, pushing into people because of his reduced vision.

Many knew his name for different reasons. Many knew his signature and most knew him by the looks, by his twin guns and his weird attitude. 

For some, he was Chris Bang, the son of the famous Bang boss. For others he was Bang Chan, The 25 years old criminal who dealt with all the location rent fees of the clubs that were under the Bang territory, dealing with their protection, dealing with all the unfinished business fees, harassing those who didn’t meet a deadline or failed to pay what they owed to the family. Or simply received orders to kill those who were politically failing or threatening the family. 

Practically, Chan was a very busy member of the family, who was making constant attendances in the underground fights in the club that his best friend Jisung worked in. 

The Bangs had a huge territory and powerful allies not only in the underground but overground as well, holding companies, had actions in many places, allied with the Lee’s and their hotel business from ages. The families were close ever since Chan was born and he got trained well by his father’s right hand Junsu, who taught the little boy how to be useful and untouchable, how to hold the important tasks of the family and Chan was almost perfect. 

Almost.

He pushed the door at the end of the corridor open and almost fell on the ground, reeling way too bad when the freaking lights got his senses confused for a moment. The crack that he was smoking was probably way too strong and Chan questioned himself when was his last meal? In the morning? 3 am in the morning when he woke up? 

A brown haired head turned around in the moment when he loudly shut the door behind his back and dropped his blunt on the red carpet, receiving a wide smile from the young looking boy who was sitting in front of at least 5 screens. 

“Mr. Big.” The guy was almost happy to see him in the room, but Chan was busy to hit the blunt before it turns that room on fire and when he successfully smashed his boot against it, he looked up at the other. 

“Don’t call me that, Woojin.” Chan said and gracefully walked towards him, giving him a charismatic smile. “I need your help.”

Of course, BangChan wasn’t there to waste his time and talk sweet nothings to this guy. 

He knew Woojin ever since he got hired to get rid of him because the guy somehow sneaked and broke the codes of a very protected house in Chan’s area and helped out a small gang to steal diamonds three years ago. The reason why Chan didn’t slit his throat or fill up his head with bullets was that he was informed at the last moment that Woojin was being threatened by that gang. 

So instead of killing him, BangChan used Woojin’s ability to hack computer systems and find people all around the world, to find that gang and when he did, he blew up their heads, bringing back the diamonds untouched. 

Ever since then, he kept in touch with Woojin whenever he needed help to find someone the easy way and the boy never turned him down. Especially when Bang Chan secured him in ‘Demonium’ where he knew Jisung will take care of him. 

The gorillas all around the club too, because they were good for nothing else. 

Woojin turned around on his chair and stared at the central screen in front of him, looking very excited by Chan’s request. 

“Who is it gonna be tonight, mr. Big?” Woojin used that nickname ever since he grew to care about Chan and his criminal story, calling him that because Chan was always involved in big -time-crimes and he found them very interesting every time when Chan had time to tell him about the case while Woojin needed a minute or two to find someone for him. 

“Felix.” Chan said and walked over to the single couch in the room, dropping his wasted body on it, literally dying in the soft feeling of finally resting his back. “I fucked him last night.”

Woojin laughed. 

“O-okay, that's interesting. Are we expecting something extreme like when you screwed that boy Seungmin who turned out to be a son of the enemy, these….” he started to talk excitedly while Bangchan was counting the black spots that he saw in front of his eyes when he took his dark glasses off. 

“...the Kims. I know. I learned my lesson.” Chan replied and lifted up his tattooed right arm, exposing the large map of lines and figures there, admiring it as if it was an artistic creation of some very talented person, but for him it really was meaningful. He nearly died due to overdose that this bitch Seungmin put in his drink. Then he woke up in a dark room with some bastard, trying to take out his worst side by using a flamethrower on his arm, creating a nasty scar that Bang Chan later covered entirely with that tattoo that he cherished so much. He hated his scars and so far his body had many different stories painted on his skin by his friend Changbin. 

Woojin smiled knowingly and nodded, getting back to his duty to find who that Felix dude was. 

“So why are we searching for Felix?” the hacker asked with a sly smile, typing the name and by what Chan saw on the screen, many faces started showing up. “I put a worldwide category because I wonder who on earth had the same name, you know? Is Felix some middle aged american boss or something? Some 32 years old dude with an ugly face? Oh damn, there are actually 43,688 people named Felix. Maybe I should put a Seoul category, right? But I just figured that if he is Korean, his name….”

“He is not. Probably born somewhere else. His accent is ridiculous.” Chan replied and started pulling a piece of his blonde hair, looking distracted. “So? Try looking up by family names.”

Woojin threw him a look. “Mr. Big, since when are you messing in my work?” He said and typed just two things before a big photo popped up and Woojin whistled playfully, which made Chan look forward at the screen and raise up on his seat immediately. 

“This Felix?” Woojin pushed his chair aside so Bang Chan could have a clear vision of his prey and he nearly fell from the couch when he leaned forward to take a better look. “You are so high.”

“Totally fine. Yes, this is him.” Chan stood up and moved his tired body towards the screen, scanning the information that came up there. Woojin had access to every register. Family outground business, hospital sign ups, check ups, insurances, bank accounts. He could see it all there, but since Chan was very educated, he knew that whatever he was reading now, was for sure interesting. 

Felix was a Lee. The same Lee that Chan’s father was allying with. The same family that dealt with guns and all kinds of weapons. Damn, even Bang Chan’s twin guns were designed and sold to him by that family. 

Having the Lee label on the back of the handles, decorated beautifully. He loved his guns, and he loved the bullets that were specially created for it. It was an expensive weapon and that same Felix who took his dick deep, was the baby boy of the man who invented it. 

Brilliant. Also intriguing and shocking. 

“Damn, this pretty face could fill up your ass with bullets, you know that right?” Woojin said as he clicked somewhere and Chan started seeing different information - where Felix was going, what places he was visiting, searched by where Felix used his bank card mostly. 

“That's some high-class boy, Mr. Big,” Woojin said and looked aside at Bang Chan, finding him staring at the screen, making weak attempts to remember the information. “If you didn’t know anything about this Felix, now you know that he never pays in cash. And….You look sexy when you care..”

“Shut up. I wanna see him again.” Chan expressed his desire and rolled his eyes at his friend, throwing him a wide smile full of dimples and sweetness and if Woojin didn’t know how fucked up this guy was, he would really find him as nice and ordinary. 

But Chan was just a gentle face with a very twisted personality that he was rarely exposing to any of his one night stands due to several reasons. One of them was the lack of dedication that he had towards people. He could literally watch anyone die without weeping, except if that person wasn’t special to him or useful like Woojin. 

Or sexy like Felix. 

“We have no information about his underground life.” Chan said and glared at Woojin as if it was his fault that the police had no information about stuff like that and it was really Chan’s job to find out dark information about people from the underworld. 

So he scowled. 

“Well, they are greatly undercover. You can pull out information about your family allies, right? Why are you so interested in him?” Woojin asked with curiosity and studied the gentle lines of Chan’s face, stopping over his full lips that were pressed in a thin line. 

“He has a scar on his thigh. I wanna know who put it there.” BangChan replied and his smile completely vanished, getting replaced by his famous killer look, which included a very deep glare and posture that was meant to show people how powerful he could be. 

Well for Woojin, that was just a natural reaction of this guy whenever he wanted to get in trouble and he was indeed searching for that right now. 

“I’m gonna make deeper research on Lee Felix. But I need more time, okay?” Woojin said and closed the window, turning to face the angry guy. 

Chan nodded and pulled away, feeling even dizzier than he was when he previously entered the room, so his badass image had to get under cover again. He put his dark glasses on and pushed them up on the bridge of his nose, smirking again. 

“Alright then, you have all the time in the world. I know where to meet Lee Felix again at least.” Chan was satisfied with what he got and he knew that his schedule was busy with several tasks that he had for this weekend, including his off time fights and it would be hard to make room for meetings but he spotted a coffee shop where Felix was visiting every morning in the weekends, and Chan could definitely skip sleeping for another day if that would make room in his schedule to see Felix. 

‘Red Fenix’ was the destination where his tired ass was going to at exactly 10 am in the morning. 

His bed and the comfortable dark atmosphere in his apartment could fuck off for another day. Another night as well. 

***

Felix did not have a fixed work schedule, because all he had to do was meet people seal the deal and go back home. Sometimes this would end badly, and he would have to kill a few people, get into a fight, throw some punches. But he was good with his words, so that did not happen too often. However, he was a person who would easily fall into a routine, so he had this thing where he would visit a cafe near his father’s “office” and read a book. 

He didn’t look like the person he actually was. His black suits and leather backpacks made him appear as a young striving businessman. Which he was. But they would never expect that a boy with such a soft look and cute freckles would have over 30 people's body count. 

That Sunday was no different than the one in the previous week. He put on his black suit, wearing a white shirt, as always. Hyunjin would complain he looks the same every day, but Felix never cared. He picked up the book he started reading last weekend, Stephen King’s Pet Sematary and put it in his black backpack. He left his house, early in the morning because he liked to sit in the cafe and read his book for hours. 

When he arrived at the place, Red Fenix, a small cafe with huge windows that had a beautiful view of a park where people were walking their dogs, children were playing, or even some couples were having a picnic. He went in and his favorite aunt, as she insisted to be called, greeted him with a bright smile. 

“Hi, sweetie!” Sona said, and Felix shuddered at the nickname, immediately remembering Chan and the way he called him sweetie a few nights ago, but he smiled anyway. He wasn’t allowed to think about his hookups after they’re out of his life.”Are you having the usual?” She asked again before Felix even took a seat. While all of the clients had to go to the counter and order, Felix could just take his seat straight away and the ahjumma would bring him his latte after it is done.

“Yes, please!” He smiled at her and went to pull up a chair to take a sit on a table near the window. It was around 8 am, and he had plans to stay there at least until lunch. 

The hours went on and Felix was deeply engrossed by his book. He was the type who wouldn’t get distracted easily, except when the ahjumma would ask him something and he would reply to her with delight. Ok, maybe there was one person that he would feel like crying if they die and that was the ahjumma. He was visiting her since his first days in Korea. She was nice to him and she was always giving him the help he needed when he studied Korean at her cafe. Now, she was very proud of him and how much he improved. Felix liked her more than his friends, that was for sure. 

It was around 10 when someone entered the cafe and started placing their order from the door. They were a bit too loud for Felix’s liking, but he felt some weird twist in his gut at the sound of that voice. His fingers froze when he was about to turn the page and he almost didn’t want to look up and see if it is the person he thought it was. When he finally looked up, he saw Chan. The exact same guy who fucked him and treated him like a slut that night. He didn’t know how to react to that view because he seemed so different. He was wearing a black sleeveless shirt that was exposing his toned tattoo arms. Felix felt a familiar twitch in his pants, when Chan’s arm muscles flexed while he was trying to take out his wallet. Of course, he had a black leather jacket in his other hand. The same jacket he wore when they met. But what was even more, were Chan’s muscular thighs that were visible from the holes in his ripped jeans. What was bad though, was that his handsome face was barely visible because he was wearing a cap that completely covered his eyes. Maybe if Felix wasn’t that impressed of him that night he wouldn’t be able to recognize him the next day.

“....yes, something hard, please. I need to stay awake.” Chan kept talking to the lady, taking off his hat just to flip it backwards and threw the woman the same smile that he was giving Felix before he took him in his car.

Felix had a rule not to talk to his one night stands, so he tried to hide behind his book like some desperate child who did something wrong, and hoped Chan won’t notice him and leave. Or even better, pretend like he didn’t see him.

And after a moment or two, he felt footsteps coming closer and closer and then the dark figure of Chan dropped down on the free chair on the opposite side of where Felix sat and two cups of strong coffee filled up the empty space on the table. 

“Felix, right?” Chan asked and pulled his sunglasses down, placing them next to his wallet and phone in such precise order right next to the coffee cups, smiling at his own tidiness. And then looked at Felix, who had his nose buried in that book and didn’t even pay attention to him. 

That made Chan smile again. 

“I suppose that you don’t remember me.” He started ironically and tilted his head. “It's okay, I can introduce myself again.”

“Sorry, I’m not interested.” Felix replied as uninterested as he possibly could be, while still hiding behind his book. It’s not like his previous admirers didn’t try to get him again, he knew how to get rid of Chan. Or at least that was what he thought.

But what he didn’t know was who was standing behind that mischievous smile and playful stare and Bang Chan wanted it to keep being that way because he was sure that Felix’s attitude would make a U turn if he knew who he was. Maybe Chan’s name wasn’t a common topic in Felix’s family or life, but if he made research as Chan did for him, Felix would find a ghost. 

Because Christopher Bang was just a name, a rich guy from the Bang family. Who he really was, was the active one between the underground lines - Bang Chan. So Felix would hit a dead end street if he tried to find who was Chan. Because practically Chan didn’t exist in any record. 

And he used the right name when he introduced himself to Felix. Which made him, even more, intrigued to keep messing around with this pretty boy. 

Chan had left all of his weapons in the back of his car before he came to the coffee that morning. He was lacking sleep for two days and his nerves were pulled to their limits, yet he found the power to admire that blonde boy in daylight and notice details about him that he missed seeing when he fucked him. 

“Really? That's a shame. We had so much fun together.” Chan spoke casually and picked the first cup of coffee, bringing it to his lips to take a sip while his eyes glared at Felix. 

Felix finally moved the book from his face to take a look at Chan. He was so handsome, even though his face looked like he died three days ago from an overdose. He had that look he gave Felix that night before he left. Felix sighed and tried again. He didn’t expect the other to keep intruding after what he was about to say.  
“Did we meet at some charity event?” Felix furrowed his eyebrows in pretending to be thinking.

Bang Chan smirked. He felt so thrilled that it was surprising for his tired body to function so good, but he could feel himself getting tensed, keeping Felix under his gaze the whole time as he didn’t even waste a second to blink.

“I’m not qualified to attend such places. I mean look at me.” he made a motion over his messy outfit and inked skin and shrugged. “Think of other places that you frequent… like, you know…. Night clubs?”

“I really don’t go to such places. I am a student at a religious school. I have a curfew at 7 pm.” Felix smiled brightly at Chan. The same smile he would only show to his favorite ahjumma at the cafe. The one that made him look innocent. 

Chan tilted his head. Was the sex that bad? 

He expected that the son of a powerful boss like that fucker Lee would act cocky and look down upon him like he was a piece of trash, but he didn’t expect Felix to be lying. And that was pulling his strings in a weird way. Yes, they kind of didn’t match with Felix that night. 

The little beast didn’t want to suck his dick and Chan fucked him like an animal, face pressed against the door. But it was all good, right? In the end, Chan was the one taking Felix’s cum in his mouth while he had his in his ass. Fair deal. 

“And i guess you like reading books as well.” Chan tested Felix’s reflexes when he snatched the book away from his hands quickly, noticing another detail about him. He had very sweet little fingers that would look amazing around his cock. His eyes focused on Felix’s face again and he gave him the same sweet smile. “What a nice mama’s boy.”

Felix’s eyes immediately darkened at Chan’s words. He hated hearing stories about his mom, let alone someone who doesn't even know him, mention her. He snatched his book back and started collecting his things as he got up from his chair. “This conversation is over.” He said as he stared at Chan as if he was going to kill him. And maybe he was, when he sees him outside of the cafe.

Maybe Bang Chan was very high when he was reading the information about Felix or he didn’t remember details about the Lee’s, but he was learning fast from mistakes and he felt irritated at himself because Felix was getting away from him and he skipped his morning sleep just to drive all the way here and see him. 

He picked Felix by the wrist hard enough to cut his actions and the deadly glare that his pretty eyes showed to Chan was slowly making him feel even more addicted. 

“I’m sorry. Strangers are not meant to know things about people’s lives, right? I didn’t mean to make you upset.” He told Felix and released his hand. “You can sit down, I was the one disturbing your peace.”

“Whatever.” Felix rolled his eyes at Chan and took a look at the ahjumma who was giving them suspicious looks. “What do you want from me anyway? I can’t believe you’re even apologizing…”

“Well, I saw a familiar face here.” Chan replied more friendly and invited him to sit down again, making a rough gesture towards the chair. “But it seems like you don’t remember me. But Felix, I remember faces, names, facts. And your face… I can't mistake it in the crowd.”

“Are you hitting on me?” Felix went to take a seat, while Chan was trying to desperately win him over. This was fun for Felix. He wouldn’t sleep with Chan again but it was nice to feel like a God sometimes. And Chan was looking at him like he recognized Felix’s divinity.

“Maybe?” The blonde replied casually. He was the worst when it comes to flirting, that was what he knew. To make compliments or talk bullshit really wasn’t his thing but this pretty boy here needed all the stars in the universe and all the attention in the galaxy to actually look interested and Chan was probably not that good to keep his interest. Which was very disappointing. “It's okay, I know where you live, because you are kind of reckless, taking strangers in your apartment without even having security cameras. I noticed that you are very rich, but you never know who stands in front of you, right?”

“So, you don’t want to bone me, you just want my money? Is that what you do for a living… fuck rich people and rob them?” Felix gaped at Chan, and the betrayal he felt, was unexplainable to him. When Chan said that, everything started making perfect sense to Felix and he realized that he actually would have to kill him.

“Don’t I look like a stray kid? I’m joking here, Felix.” Chan replied and leaned back on the chair, noticing the dark look in Felix’s pretty eyes that started a fire in him almost immediately. They could be fucking so good right now, if Felix wasn’t giving him a cold shoulder. “I don’t care if you are rich or not. I just noticed it when I got in your fancy apartment. If you don’t trust me, I can take you to mine and bone you, because that's really what I want.” 

“How did you find me? I know that you showing up here is not a coincidence…” Felix kept glaring at Chan. “I feel like something is off with you, but I can’t say what…” 

So he was pretty and smart… Chan felt how his dick twitched in his pants when he started feeling more intrigued by him and his skills to notice details like that. There was a lot off with BangChan but he had no intention to uncover himself yet. 

“Really? So now I can’t just run into you in a random coffee shop?” He said innocently but he smirked at Felix and started collecting his stuff, putting them in his pockets, finishing the first coffee and grabbed the second one, standing up from the chair. “Don’t get that creative, Felix. You can get suspicious if you see me somewhere else. See you, sweetie.” He winked at Felix and waited for his reply before he can take his leave.

Felix smirked and looked up at Chan, the same way he was looking at his victims before he punched them. “Your pupils are still dilated.” He stated matter of factly and picked up his book again. 

Chan got reminded of his bad looks that morning and laughed, putting his sunglasses on to hide the fact that Felix smartly pointed out. 

“Don’t stare at me in such details, sweetie, I'm shy.” He replied and started walking, stopping in his tracks when Felix actually responded.

“I can’t help it, you’re the most handsome drug addict I’ve ever seen.” Felix laughed, but in a way, it was what he actually thought.

“Excuse me for the bad habit.” Chan replied and stared deeply at him, even though Felix couldn’t see his eyes anymore. He slid a hand over the boy’s shoulder and rubbed it smoothly. “So you still don’t remember me?”

“Why? Do you want me to say your name?” Felix whispered, but he was sure Chan heard him. He was just teasing him because he liked disturbed guys, and Chan was a wreck, Felix just couldn’t help it.

“What makes you think that you know my name?” Was what Chan replied before brushing his fingers along the side of Felix’s neck and removed his hand quickly, this time really leaving the blonde in his peaceful place. 

_So that asshole lied about his name and then made me moan some made up shit, so he can get off. Damn, I’m gonna find him and break his skull._ Felix thought and violently squeezed his book. 

Game on.

~ 

Felix preferred to kill people more than shopping for someone. His annoying friend Hyunjin had a birthday in a few days and Felix was a decent human being so he would usually buy gifts for people when there was an occasion. At least Hyunjin was whining about some GUCCI shoes to Felix, so he knew what to get, he just had to drag himself to the shopping center. 

It was a nice Tuesday noon. He had a lot of things to do that day. He also had to put through a deal in the evening, so he had his guards with him and he was walking around the shopping center like some politician in a war zone. The people around them were staring at him as if they saw something exceptional. Felix didn't like the attention. That was the reason why he was wearing black sunglasses that were resting over his freckles. He was quick to locate the GUCCI store and told his guards to wait for him in front of the store. Felix never liked the way people kept staring at him if anything this made him feel more exposed than protected. The eyes on him felt like he was about to be attacked any second. 

He walked confidently inside the store, finally feeling a wave of relief after he got rid of the guards. They weren't as skilled anyway. Felix could take on 10 people by himself, he never got why his father insisted on Felix having 6 people to guard him. It was over the top and uncalled for. He wasn't a child anymore. And no one was interested in kidnapping him lately. 

He got the shoes for Hyunjin and some white shirts for himself before he went out of the store. On the way out he noticed a place that sells ice cream that suddenly made him crave it. He shoved the shopping bags in the hands of one of his guards and signed with his hand to tell them to wait there. He never really talked to them, only when it was necessary. He didn't even know their names because his dad changed the people who guard him every other week. 

He walked to the vendor and took a look at the different flavors. He decided he wants chocobanana and waited a bit before he has handed the cone with a huge ball of ice cream. He was licking his ice cream when he turned to the side to walk back to his guards but he bumped into someone. When he looked up at the stranger’s face, it turned out it was not a stranger. 

“You!” He whispered without hiding his shock from meeting Chan, yet again, coincidentally. 

Chan was wearing the same jacket again, and a different pair of ripped jeans, but he still looked hot as ever. His face, though, made Felix forget that he doesn't actually know the guy’s name, so he should stop calling him Chan in his head. 

“Felix, what a nice surprise.” The grin spread over Chan’s face and he looked at Felix, having that expression over his face that could remind the boy that he wasn’t in a stable state of mind. “Fuck, give me a second, that weed was a hammer.” He added and tried to blink away the dizziness.

  
“Are you stalking me?” Felix frowned at the other and casually licked his ice cream. 

He shrugged. “Define what you mean by stalking and I can answer.” He said and his eyes caught a movement behind Felix, which made his whole face drop the friendly manner and he started glaring at someone behind Felix. “Because I just bumped into you. Very surprising, right?”

Felix just rolled his eyes at the statement, still liking his ice cream. He didn’t bother answering the guy in front of him and started walking towards his guards. Chan didn’t know how easy he made it for Felix to get rid of him. Maybe after some beating, he’ll give up on chasing Felix. 

“Come on, sweetie, you don’t take jokes. I guess you are boring.” Chan kept ranting, walking after him but his eyes stood over the guys that he previously thought were a threat. Maybe he smoked too much weed that day because Felix was around them now and none of them seemed to have a knife or a gun in their hands, trying to kill him. So the Lee boy was highly guarded? He needed people to walk after his ass in a fucking mall, but he was perfectly fine to leave clubs with strangers. Little snob.

Felix went through the small crowd of guards he had and stood behind them. He made eye contact with Chan and started swirling his tongue around the huge ice cream ball. Then he looked at one of his guards and gave his order. “Make sure to break his arms, at least.” It was loud enough for Chan to hear, and if he was smart enough, he had the opportunity to run away.

BangChan lowered his head and glared back at Felix. He wasn’t deaf to not hear the order and he wanted to laugh at it. What were his chances against 6 buffed dudes in a small shop area with a lot of glass windows? 

His chances were many. Well, he didn’t plan to show off with his boxing skills today, but Felix was trying to show off with his power, which was kind of hot. 

Chan had a new purpose for the day. Pass through the guards and slap away that ice cream. It would probably irritate Felix enough to wipe that bored expression off his face. 

While he was thinking of that, the guys were approaching, one of them shoving a fist towards his face and Chan swiftly avoided it, leaning back until the guy was hitting the air and he struck back, hitting the tall dude straight at the core of his chest, making him bend over instantly, trying to grasp his air. And then the events started happening like in a flash in front of his eyes. 

Chan’s senses were perfect when he was high. He was avoiding hits better than when he was sober and right now his performance was perfect. He dealt with two at the same time, striking a fist at one’s face, grabbed the arm of the second and twisted it, turning the guy into his own shield for the next one who jumped with a kick, only to kick his own friend in the face, Chan pushed the shield guy away and reached for the next one, leaning fast enough to break his nose with his forehead. 

Few of them were gone, two more were approaching and Chan spotted Felix between them, sucking that ice cream like he was sucking a dick, so gracefully, so good, sticking his tongue out to lick over that ball. 

He glared at the sight and nearly got hit in the face when one of the two guards caught his hands behind his back and the other tried to break his face. Bad move, because Chan jumped and kicked the guy in the chest, twisting his body skillfully until he was the one holding the last guard and he started throwing punches in his face until the guy dropped down on the floor, holding his face. 

Just in case the closest dude to Felix decided to move, Chan shoved his boot against his head and passed him by, panting from the quick fight that Felix put him through. 

“Are you impressed, sweetie?” He asked and glared at Felix, lifting one hand up to fulfill his desire. And Felix probably didn’t think that he would be that childish, but Chan really hit his wrist, which made Felix’s hold over the ice cream weak and it dropped in his feet. Felix frowned and looked at his shoes. The ice cream splattered on them which meant he had two things to be mad about: Chan lying about his name and his ruined shoes.  
  
“You suck!” Felix said and started sulking like he was a five year old. He hadn’t pouted in dissatisfaction since he was 10. But there he was. The son of an influential mafia boss sulking over his dead ice cream. “The cocaine turned your brain into mush!” He stated and took out a handkerchief from the pocket of his blazer to wipe his shoes. 

Chan spotted a movement from behind and felt annoyed with himself because he didn’t perform so good if they started moving so quickly. But since all of his senses were sharp, he clearly heard a shop owner speaking about calling the police and Chan rolled his eyes at Felix, coming up with another great idea. 

“I’m not very friendly with cops.” He said and picked Felix’s wrist, stopping him from cleaning his shoes and turned to look at one of Felix’s guards who was already on his feet, wearing a pained expression. “Don’t worry dude, he was just playing hard to get. I’m taking him now, don’t tell the boss.” He winked at the guy and started dragging Felix away from that scene, realizing that if these guards decided to act tough, they weren’t just going to follow Chan and Felix, but also ruin his plan. But he didn’t expect that Felix was such a brat, also he didn’t expect that he was walking around malls with six people as if he was the president and also, Chan didn’t originally plan to kidnap him, but that was what it looked like when he shoved Felix on the front seat of his black Lamborghini Gallardo and joined him a moment after. 

“So, I'm totally not doing anything illegal.” He said with a smile and started the car, glancing aside at Felix. “Are you angry at me?”

“Why the fuck did you have to slap away my ice cream? Are you five?” Felix snapped. “You literally come out of nowhere and interrupt everything nice I’m doing!” He was a bit more expressive than what Chan had seen before, so he felt exposed to the stranger whose name he didn’t even know. Which makes three things to be mad about. 

“Which is why…. I’m gonna get you a new one.” Chan had no plans to do that either, but he was driving out of the mall, locating on his GPS his freaking apartment because he was too high to think about streets and directions in that area of the town that was unfamiliar to him. And Felix was kind of silent, which made him wonder why the fuck that person was still in his car? Wasn’t he going to get suspicious? Wasn’t he afraid that Chan was a freak who could actually pull out his gun from the side of his seat and blow up Felix’s brain while he was sweetly irritated? Chan figured that Felix had a deeper meaning than what he thought and he connected it to the underground. All of them were different people at night, all were dealing with dirty shit, so Felix might be just used to this. Or he was just strong enough to fight back if he sensed that Chan was a threat. 

He was really triggered to take out the gun now and just see what Felix would do, but he wasn’t that crazy. If Felix turned out to be skilled, Chan was going to feel his gun the bad way. 

It felt like ages until he reached the familiar quarters of his territory and he relaxed, feeling like home already. He was taking Felix to his own apartment this time, knowing that he had what this weirdo wanted in the fridge upstairs, so there was no need to be romantic. 

Chan parked the car on the busy parking lot and left his car, waiting for Felix to follow. 

“Before we go…” He said and rested one hand on top of his car, staring at Felix when he got out as well. “I wanna tell you that I brought you here so you can keep licking ice cream. In my apartment.”

Felix literally facepalmed in frustration. “You’re an idiot. I doubt it’s the meth, though. You’re naturally like that, but damn, the dick is good.” He sighed and closed the door of Chan’s car.

“I don’t do powders,” Chan replied ironically and pulled away from his car, nodding at Felix to follow him. “But I can do you. It's very funny how you acted like you don’t remember me last time and now you’re just dying for my dick.”

“If I came all the way here I should at least benefit from it, shouldn’t I? I’m still mad about the ice cream though, person whose name I don’t know and refuse to address in any other way.” Felix said while following Chan on the way to his apartment. It was a place he had never seen so he was looking around. Checking buildings, exits, and cameras in case he has to run away, or has to hide a dead body.

BangChan cut his thoughts with his laughter. “Damn, if you decide on spelling all of that while we have sex it’s gonna be awkward.” He said and unlocked the front door, shooting a wink at the camera that was facing them from above before he held the door open and waited for Felix to move in first. “You should just go for something simple. Like daddy.”

“You wish.” Felix snorted. Although Chan was mocking him by treating him like a lady Felix went in, and didn’t spare a look back. Chan was disturbed and considering what he did to his men if he still hasn’t hurt Felix and he went through all that shit just to get him, Felix knew the guy wouldn’t even dream of hurting him. So he wasn’t scared when Chan locked the door, he just casually took a look around the place. 

“You’re rich.” He stated simply.

Chan took off his jacket and threw it somewhere, his shirt following quickly after because he had this habit to wear fewer clothes at home and also, he liked to give Felix more reasons to keep coming back for him. If Felix had a weakness for abs and tattoos, then Chan had all of that, along with a pair of nice arms and a handful of ego that could beat anyone. 

“Not to brag, but I'm actually not homeless.” He said and nodded aside towards the kitchen area, turning on the lights when they were inside and moved to the fridge, taking out the huge box of mixed flavors of ice cream. Yes, maybe it wasn’t going to be as nice as the one that Felix was licking like a little bitch, but the moment when Chan grabbed a spoon and looked at Felix, another great idea popped in his head. 

“Felix, you want this, don’t you?” He asked the other blonde and slowly made his way out of that room again, getting back to the living room where he sat down on the wide couch and smirked up at the other. “What would you say… if I tell you to lick it off me?” Chan said and opened the box, wiggling his eyebrows at the other.

“I’d tell you to fuck off?” Felix suggested and crossed his arms over his chest while staring at Chan. Unfortunately, the dude was extremely hot, and he was sitting there half naked exposing all of his assets. Felix was grateful that his cold act was holding his image because he would jump Chan if he didn’t have to be persuaded for 7 hours before someone gets in his pants. And those arms. Every time Chan’s muscles flexed while he was spreading the ice cream on his abdomen, Felix was taking sharp breaths to control his strong demeanor. 

“Really? Because you look like someone who really wants to taste it.” Chan was back to his playful side, ignoring the pulsing headache that he had right now and the fact that this fucking weed was ruining his second time with Felix, or whatever that thing was right now and he started to slowly understand his own intentions. 

Chan just wanted these sexy lips around his dick and he was going to follow Felix for decades if he had to, in order to get what he wants. 

Right now his hot skin was melting that shit and the drops were sliding in cold trails on his ribs, abs, getting lower to his boxers and he put the box of ice cream on the side, giving Felix a glare. 

“Come on, sweetie, lick it as you did in the mall.” He challenged Felix and bit his bottom lip. Thinking about what miracles Felix could do, along with that cold ice cream on his skin, was such a turn on that he felt how his pants were getting tight around his dick area.

Felix started taking slow steps in Chan’s direction. He pulled his tie over his head and took off his blazer before he started undoing the buttons of his shirt. He wasn’t in a hurry, he was just staring at the ice cream melting on Chan’s body and started biting his lip. Chan seemed aroused as well, so he took the last few steps faster and dropped his white shirt on the floor. Felix stared at Chan when he dropped on his knees and spread Chan’s legs to settle himself in between them. “You’re the hottest drug addict, I swear. Look at you begging me like a bitch with your empty eyes.” He thought it would be disgusting to do it, but he found it surprising how easy it was for him to nudge his nose in Chan’s abdomen and start licking the ice cream from above his pubic hair. He put his hands on both sides of Chan's hips to steady him and started going up to his chest. One of his hands went up to Chan’s chest, and his small fingers started teasing a nipple. Before his tongue, cold from the ice cream, went over it. Felix had the urge to place a few kisses on his right peck before he went up to his neck, his lips still leaving traces of ice cream on Chan’s skin. He was licking the side of his neck like Chan had cared to spread some ice cream there too. Then he started biting him softly while he tried to close Chan’s spread legs and sit on them. 

“Fuck.” Chan cursed in return, bringing both of his hands down on Felix’s ass and gripped it so hard like he wanted to make his little sexy butt blue, but it was early for that now. He explored his behind hungrily, since last time the two of them rushed that sex and had no time to do stuff like that and if Felix seemed kind of boring back then, right now he was very exciting. Chan let him notice that as he brought Felix right at his hard cock and left him to get the hint. 

“I can be what you want me to be, sweetie.” He said weakly, turning his head aside so he could catch Felix’s lips into a heated kiss. Felix rubbed his ass on Chan’s clothed dick in the process. He was starting to get hard, and couldn’t wait any longer for Chan to do his thing.  
  
“Take em off.” He pulled away from Chan and said it while tugging and the belt of Chan’s jeans. He was so sloppy, he didn’t get why he couldn’t undo his belt. “What the fuck?! Chan, take it off..”

“Impatient, are we?” The other said while watching him struggle for a moment, staring at that beautiful face with admiration. Chan was probably too high to just watch Felix while the dude was trying to get him out of his pants but before helping him, he cupped Felix’s face in his hands and stopped his dirty actions, smiling absently at him. “Have I ever told you that you are fucking stunning?”

“No.” Felix said and bumped his forehead in Chan’s. “I’m the one who’s feeding you compliments about your looks…”

“This is why you are here.” Chan reminded him because if there wasn’t any kind of physical attraction between them, Felix wasn’t going to follow him blindly just to get his dick up his ass and Chan wasn’t going to go wild, making investigations about every place that Felix was visiting, just so he could run into him. It was very easy to figure out why they were wrapped around each other even if their minds were totally disconnected from each other. 

“I like the shape of your lips..” Chan shared with him, taking down stars from the sky for Felix, while his actions weren’t as romantic when he started undoing his belt as Felix wished for, almost knocking his forehead in the boy’s nose when he struggled to kick his own pants off. “And your freckles… I hate fucking freckles. But they look so good on you. It makes you look unique and sexy.”

Felix chuckled and got off Chan’s lap. “Can we do it on the bed?” He asked. He didn’t state it, and that surprised him, but not enough for him to lose connection with reality. He stretched his hand out and waited for Chan take it and lead him to the bedroom.

And no matter that Chan was silently arguing with himself either to play by Felix’s rules or not, he actually brought him in his dark room, where he was usually sleeping alone, fucking his hand if it was needed, but bringing nobody. 

Was that making Felix special? Probably no, but his room was kind of creepy, painted black, having that dark atmosphere, having antique furniture just because he liked it that way and he pushed Felix to lay down on his bed, stripping his boxers off to give the pretty boy a nice view that he didn’t let him see the previous time. 

“I have lube.” He stated, reaching for the night stand on the left, taking out the bottle that he used when he had no time for sex and threw it on Felix, smirking. “I wanna watch you finger yourself, sweety”

“What’s up with you today?” Felix smirked and took the bottle. He was still wearing his pants so he proceeded to undo them while talking to Chan. “First you want me to lick you up, now you want me to finger myself… What’s next, stranger?” He pulled off his sock and grabbed the lube again.

Chan’s eyes stared at that naked body spread on his bed and his heart made a weird flip in his chest. It was a bad moment to die, he figured, so he hoped that he was just too excited now while he watched how Felix spread his tight legs and opened the bottle, making a mess down there with it, spreading enough to fuck himself with ease and Chan’s dick was so hard by the sight that he absently wrapped his right hand around himself, stroking his cock slowly to get rid of the tension, but it wasn’t working when that sexy boy was about to fuck himself like a bitch. 

“Maybe I will make one of your wishes come true?” He answered to Felix’s question and tried to look at his face instead of at his untouched hole. “God, I wanna fuck you so bad. Just ask for it, ask me.”

“Chan, do you see how well I take up my fingers?” Felix asked and pushed his two fingers in his hole. “Imagine if I was taking you… so good…” Felix’s head dropped back and he rolled his eyes at the sensations he was giving himself. “Come fuck me as you mean it, Chan.” He finally breathed and stared up at Chan while he was pulling his fingers out of himself.

And that was hot enough to fuck up his mind and let him drop his own idea of doing freaking foreplay. The foreplay was for boyfriends. 

He joined Felix on the bed, spreading his legs even wider as he didn’t give the boy what he wanted and instead of going straight to the fucking, he put Felix’s cock in his mouth and suckeed it deep, bobbing his head up and down to give him a better feeling while both of his hands were leaving red lines on Felix’s thighs as he was scratching him.

“Who would know crackheads are so good at this?” Felix said in a weak attempted to collect his mind. “God, stop, I’ll cum. Better shove your dick in me before I fucking snap you.” Felix was proud of himself for speaking so well while Chan was working him so good. It was even better than the first time, and Chan’s hair was still so soft that Felix felt weird affection for it. He forcefully pulled him up to his face to shove his tongue in his mouth this time. The kiss was messy as both of them were fighting the other for dominance, even if Chan was kind of winning, since he got Felix pinned to the bed, keeping his weight on one hand as the other took a hold over his dick while they were still making out and he did as the other blonde wished, pushing his dick easily this time, since the lube that Felix used was making his way in so perfect.

Chan broke the kiss so he could moan and his head dropped against Felix’s neck when he pushed his hips towards him, thrusting deeper.

“Your legs…. On my back… sweetie.” He gasped every word and started abusing Felix’s neck, thrusting in him again, deeply and slowly to let the other feel him good. Felix squeezed Chan’s waist with his legs and his small hands moved to Chan’s hair where he gently tugged at it.

“Your hair..” Felix stopped to moan and tugged harder at Chan’s hair. “Is soo soft. God, Chan.” 

Felix thought about the first time they fucked sometimes because it was probably the best sex he had ever had, but this time Chan was topping his own record. His hips were snapping so hard, Felix wasn’t sure if he could walk properly in the next few days. It felt like Chan’s dick was penetrating his brain and not his ass. “You’re so good. Go faster…”

The blonde obeyed, gasping when Felix was trying to rip his hair off his scalp and it woke up his passion so bad that he started fucking the boy so fast that his whole body tensed up in the action. It looked kind of intimate how Felix had him balls deep, locking his fine legs around his waist while he was roughly pounding with him, trying to earn every sound that Felix’s little mouth could let out. 

“M-moan for me baby…” He said, using that pet name because it sounded sexier when he was thrusting in Felix, leaving red marks on the side of his neck.

Felix was generous this time. He wasn’t holding back any of the sounds he was making, because this time it didn’t feel like they were trying to win over each other. “Chan.” He breathed in his ear and wrapped his arms around his neck to pull him towards his face and lock their lips. However, he was quick to break the kiss to stare at Chan’s face, as a thought actually managed to slip through his mind while Chan was pounding in him as his life depended on it. “Cum for me..” He whispered, as he was nearing his high and he didn’t want to deal with unsatisfied Chan. “Come on… sweetie.” He smiled at him and Chan’s heart made that weird flip that caused him trouble. 

He nearly collapsed over Felix when the warm breath of Felix in combination with that pet name made his entire body shake. He thrust a few more times, cursing quietly in a loop when he reached his orgasm, filling up Felix just like he wished to, killing his gasps against the other’s neck where he kept biting in order to express that strong emotion that shook his whole body and made him cum so hard that his head spun. 

“Fuck… fuck..” he kept repeating, thrusting slowly in the other to get this bliss out of himself and he needed a moment to come down from his high before he could finish off Felix. 

“Fuck. You didn’t wear a condom again.” Felix whined when he felt Chan filling him up. He was so into it he didn’t even realize it until it was too late. “I can’t even be mad at you..” He finally decided and pulled Chan to kiss him, because he really wanted to bury his fingers in his hair. He quickly pushed his tongue in Chan’s already gaping mouth, and the other seemed eager to reply to his kiss while Felix dropped his hand to his own dick to get himself off.

The other caught that movement and let Felix’s tiny hand wrap around himself, but Chan’s one joined right after and squeezed Felix’s cock along with him, controlling the movement while they were trying to kiss and breathe at the same time, which kind of left Felix breathless in the moment when he was getting close to his own end. 

Chan pulled back from his lips and his distant look landed over the boy’s mouth, watching it open when he released a sexy groan, releasing against both of their hands. The worn out expression that Felix had on his face was the most beautiful view that Chan had ever seen and he leaned to kiss him again, still stroking his cock until Felix was completely done.

Felix was trying to catch his breath while he was coming from his high, his hand was still buried in Chan’s hair. This time he stroke it affectionately at his nape and dropped it on the bed. “You’re the best fuck ever.” He said while looking at the ceiling. The view of the messy and sweaty Chan was too much for him, he was afraid he might get hard again, so he decided it would be better if he avoided it. “I like looking at your face, too.” He smiled still looking at the ceiling.

“Is that some kind of a kink?” Chan asked and just decided that he deserved to die finally and pulled out of Felix with a soft gasp, collapsing on top of him way too clumsily to be called sexy.

“I don’t know if you’ve seen yourself in the mirror, but you look way too good for someone who’s a heavy drug addict. You’re like a fucking painting.” Felix’s eyes finally dropped to Chan’s face who was laying nuzzled in his neck. “Maybe your face is becoming my kink?” He chuckled and his hand went to Chan’s back to rub it slowly as if he was comforting him.

“Are you trying to get under my skin now?” The other mumbled lazily when that sex drained all of his last energy and his recent lack of sleep finally reflected his body and no matter how stupid it was, Chan was getting really fucking relaxed to lay on top of him like that. And Felix was clingy this time, running his fingers along his skin like he was trying to bring him directly to dream land.

“Just in your pants.” Felix smirked. He knew Chan can’t see it, but he couldn’t help it. In that moment his hand went up to Chan’s hair and he sighed in content. “What’s with your hair, I can’t stop touching it.” Felix’s smile dropped when he realized how domestic was the whole situation, but Chan’s body was warm on him, and although he was almost taking him out of breath with his weight Felix couldn’t bring himself to shove Chan away.

“I don’t know… you will be surprised how little I care about it.” Chan said, but it was true how badly he treated his hair sometimes, but if Felix liked it, then there was probably some benefit of keeping it messy like that. And the more he was stroking his scalp, the sleepier Chan got, closing his eyes after a moment when his body completely relaxed and no matter how much he wanted to stay awake, the sex, the weed, the lack of sleep, just took over him and he gave in the calmness, thinking that Felix could leave on his own if he wanted. 

After a while, Chan’s weight completely crushed Felix and he realized that he probably fell asleep, and Felix couldn’t blame him. He thought for a bit if he should leave now, but he didn’t really want to. There was something about the situation that made Felix think that Chan probably hadn’t had a good sleep in a while, and the fact that he drifted off so quickly in his arms, made Felix think that he should stay there and protect Chan’s sleep. He kept stroking his head until he himself fell asleep.

Chan’s ringtone woke him up instantly. 

He was so used to that sound that whenever he heard it, his mind was waking up from the dreamland and he needed seconds before he is in perfect shape for action. But his head was pulsing now, his body was sweating and he felt so disoriented for a moment that it freaked him out a bit. 

By instinct, his hand lifted up and pressed on the front side of someone’s neck and his heart skipped a beat. Chan’s eyes snapped open and he sat up in a matter of seconds, removing his hand before he could actually harm the sleeping boy. 

Felix. 

“Shit.” Chan hissed and reached for his phone that was somewhere, probably not where he touched right now, but it kept ringing, which made him move out of bed, trying to find it before Felix woke up. The room was dark, the corridor outside as well and Chan reached his jacket that he dropped in the living room, taking out his phone. 

His father’s name was written in the display and if he was calling, it probably meant that some fucker somewhere either screwed himself over or screwed someone important over. In both cases, Chan needed a gun. 

He picked up the call and tried to sound composed, even though he had no idea how the hell he and Felix fell asleep for so long, but the clock on the wall was showing 9 pm. 

“Hey.” He greeted his father and moved aside to the large shelf with decorations, pushing the edge of it with a bit of force, and the whole thing started automatically moving to the side, exposing a lit up hole in the wall that was filled up with guns. 

“Listen to this. It's Junsu, by the way. Your dad is kind of busy with gambling.” The sweet voice of his mentor filled his ears and Chan relaxed a bit. Even smiled to himself, because he hadn’t seen Junsu in a while.

“I missed you.”

“Chris, there is a boy who fucked up a deal and its kind of important. I missed you too.” Junsu started explaining and Chan looked behind his shoulder, just to check if Felix wasn’t in the picture, because it was probably weird to fuck a guy who had a collection of what Felix’s father was selling. But the quality of the guns was amazing and the Bang family had benefits to make deals with the Lee’s anyway. 

“Shoot.” Chan picked up one of the guns, but he started thinking that he might just do with the twin guns that he hid in his car when he went for a hunt for Felix. The thought of how that date went, made him smile in satisfaction. “I just had sex and I’m a bit sleepy.”

“Wake up then, because it's about the Lee’s. First, you might need to find the boy who fucked up the deal, because what I got as information is that he kind of went missing. Some douchebag beat up his guards in a public place and they had to deal with the police.”

Chan lifted his eyebrows, feeling amused by the story. The chances that he was that douchebag and Felix was the idiot who fucked up the deal were just 100%, and he had no idea how to serve the information to Jusnu without getting in trouble. So Felix was holding deals for his father? He was active in the underground… that was information that Woojin couldn’t give BangChan, but he was professionally getting himself in trouble and this case was any different. 

So he had to save Felix’s ass, just because he himself fucked him and his family over by dragging the sexy blonde in his apartment for sex. Good fucking job.

“The Lee boss is very angry. He said that we gotta find the boy, so I will send you details, and…” Junsu kept talking and Chan felt like he had to at least share a small part in his excuse. 

“About that… don’t send me pictures. I have the original in my bedroom.” He said and rubbed his forehead with the gun that he was holding as if Jusnu was in front of him. But he knew that his mentor was going to blow up at him for being reckless, so he prepared for it.

“Really… really Chris? Are you retarded? Why are you messing with the Lee boy of all people? His fucking deal was about millions and a truck of guns, so you might as well get him out of your bedroom and fix up this shit.” Jusnu really did that, and Chan almost felt guilty. 

Almost, because Felix could say that he was busy, but he was so urgent to get his dick up his ass that he forgot about the serious business. Which kind of caressed Chan’s ego. 

“Well a few days ago I didn’t know that he is the Lee son. Just inform his dad that I found his son without getting into details about how I did it. Leave the rest to me. The deal will happen, everyone will be happy. End of story.” Chan said and put the gun back, deciding that he might need something for Felix as well, if the people who had to receive the stock were angry and decided to act like a big deal. “Who is he dealing with?” He asked Junsu more seriously because he was sure that if he asked Felix, the other wasn’t going to give him any details since he was stubborn. 

“Kang Sohyun. Some dickhead. He is kind of pissed, though. So be careful.” Junsu's voice got softer and Chan went back to smiling, looking down at himself because he was still naked and before going on a mission, maybe both he and Felix had to make themselves more presentable. “Don’t be reckless, kid. Messing around with a Lee is never a good thing. So don’t fuck up anymore.” 

“Sure, dad. Its just sex. Give me two hours and I’ll be done.” Chan said seriously and hung up, leaving the gun and his phone back on the weapon shelf as he decided to wake up Felix and prepare him for the information. 

Chan didn’t plan to expose himself since he liked how worked up was Felix about Chan’s identity and it was fun to play around with him, but how was he supposed to serve information to Felix without racing up questions? The blonde wasn’t stupid, so maybe Chan had to just tell him his secret. He was still hesitating when he went back to the bedroom and moved to the bed without turning the lights on, joining Felix on the bed. 

In the dark room he couldn’t see the lines of his face very well, but the light coming from the corridor was enough for him to admire the pretty features of Felix’s face and Chan leaned closer, leaving a trail of kisses from his chest, the side of his neck and moved to kiss his warm cheek, feeling how the boy started moving, probably feeling disturbed by him. 

“Wake up, sweetie, we gotta talk.” He said and stopped kissing him, giving him time to wake up. 

Felix brought his hand to his eye and started rubbing it while whining about being woken up. “Why? Do you want to break up with me?” He said, and then decided he was going to sleep a bit more so he pushed Chan to make space for himself and face Chan with his back.

“We can break up after we fix up the mess that you got yourself into.” Chan didn’t give him time to get comfortable again, because work was work and he was always serious about his tasks. So he went on Felix with all the information that he got from Junsu and rubbed his bare shoulder with his hand. “You had an important deal, which you probably missed because otherwise, I wouldn't get a duty call.”

At that Felix’s eyes popped up open and he got up in a sitting position. “I FORGOT!” He shouted and Chan seemed surprised because Felix looked like a madman in a rush when he jumped off the bed and started collecting his clothes. He didn’t spare a single look at Chan until he realized something. “Wait. How do you know about this? Who are you?”

“Let's calm down first.” Chan replied, still sitting on the bed and looked at all that shocked beauty, enjoying Felix’s confusion. Okay, maybe he had to give him some information if he wanted to make him trust him, but he wasn’t going to tell him everything yet. It wasn’t like Chan was some important motherfucker. It didn’t even matter if Felix even knew that he was a Bang because they were just a family name of killers, gamblers, people who were holding the territory in place and kept their allies safe, just like what Chan had to do for Felix. 

It wasn’t such a deep secret to keep, but Felix was getting interested in him and that was waking up feelings in Chan that were kind of foreign for him. 

He figured that he wants that boy to keep struggling because it looked like Felix had interest in him. So what if Chan tells him that his name is Chris and that he is nobody in the normal side of the world? Who he really was, was sitting here on that bed in that dark room. 

“I’m just a hitman.” He said, since it was true. So Felix was still going to get to know him enough to figure that he could trust him. “And I deal with a lot of other shit, which is why I got a call that a certain Lee Felix got in trouble because of a deal that he forgot about... " he said playfully but frowned. “Your dad must be used to you, getting kidnapped, because its 9 pm and they called me just now to find you. We are both lucky, right? You could make war with your absence. Very reckless.”

Felix dropped his pants on the floor. Chan was really annoying when he wasn’t fucking him and managed to push his buttons every single time. “This is your fault! I hope you realize this” he shoved his finger in Chan’s face and started hitting his forehead. “That was a really important deal and I never fuck up! If you didn’t show up and dragged me here everything would have been fine! Now I have to deal with these shitheads and my father… and your fucking cum is dripping out of my ass.” He kept staring angrily at the blond.

Chan caught his hand and stood up, pulling Felix towards the bathroom so he could stop whining, but it was amusing how he wasn’t even surprised about what Chan just told him. A part of him was irritated that Felix didn’t seem so interested in his very serious position, because he could be on the other side right now, being told to blow up Felix’s head because of that broken deal and Felix wasn’t going to be so whiny if he had time to realize that. 

He shoved the angry blonde in the shower and turned the water on, joining him because there was enough room for both of them and they had no time to waste. 

“I’m helping you out, but you can’t tell anyone that we were together because that will cause trouble.” Chan said and reached for the shampoo on the stand, pouring in his palm and slapped it on Felix’s head not really gently, smearing it all over his hair. “Also, you really irritate me with all that confidence that you have. You are not disturbed at all by what I just told you, but if you think about it, I could kill you in your sleep instead of waking you up with kisses.”

“I’ve been kidnapped like 10 times by now. Do you think I can’t recognize danger?” Felix started while letting Chan completely manhandle him in the bathroom. “You know when I saw you the first time you looked like someone who’s dangerous… but you don’t look at me like you want to hurt me. I get this feeling that you want to protect me? I don’t know it’s weird…” Felix kept ranting while Chan was rubbing some soap on his thigh. “And the fact that you’re a hitman, it only makes sense because you were able to beat up all of my guards.” He reached his hand out to hold Chan’s face and make him face him and smiled. “I’m not stupid. I know you won’t hurt me. Or! We can see who can kill who. You forget what I’m capable of. I can literally snap your neck right now.”

Chan wasn’t really convinced in that, because he could snap other things in Felix, but he decided to trust him as well. The boy just chose to feel okay around him and Chan really had that feeling of protection right now, since he was aware that Felix was indeed in danger because of their little game. 

Who knew that they would both fall asleep, right? It was fucking afternoon when they fucked. 

“That doesn’t change the fact that while you were sleeping, I got a call that could turn bad for you. So be more cautious.” Chan said and stared at his pretty face, at these deep eyes and wet lips that he really wanted to kiss. “Don’t sleep with your next hook up. Thats like the dumbest thing you can do. Can I kiss you now?”

“You know the answer to that, don’t you?” Felix rubbed his thumb over Chan’s bottom lip. “You’re the only person who has gotten me in so much trouble and we did it like twice. I think it should stop here.” Felix wasn’t trying to hurt Chan, but he felt like that was what he did. The other looked like a kicked puppy in the rain when Felix was trying to reject him nicely. “And I think you shouldn’t tell anyone about me as well. After we finish this, let’s pretend like we don’t know each other.”

Chan wasn’t a spoiled person, probably because most of his life he was mentored by a freaking killer, who cared more about the money than the person next to him, which gave him a good lesson to never expect anything from anyone. 

Chan was even thinking that if he failed his father some day and if he wasn’t his only son, the dude will order someone to blow up Chan’s head and he was probably reckless as well to chase after a guy like Felix. 

They knew nothing about each other and it was better that way, but Chan was giving Felix clues about himself and he wanted them to bite them one by one until he reaches him. But what would Felix see at the end? 

Nothing special. Just another fucker who just knew how to get his job done as quick as possible without leaving a mess behind his back. Felix, on the other hand, was a bit ruthless. Getting Chan’s attention, his dick, his protection and when the fun was over, he was pretending that it wasn’t important to him. 

Maybe it really wasn’t. It was just sex like Chan mentioned earlier to his mentor. But the reason why Felix was trying so hard to get him out of his life was a mystery for Chan. 

He nodded and stepped out of the shower, not even exposing anger or anything. He just gave Felix space and grabbed a towel to dry his hair and skin. 

“Just call these useless fuckers to bring that truck to the setup place and I'll get you there.” He said diplomatically, deciding to do as Felix says and act as if Felix was just one of his ‘customers’. 

“Ok.” Felix said and turned off the water stream. “But I’m curious about something. Does your service include dying for me if anything goes wrong?” Felix realized he might be walking on thin ice, but the sudden coldness in Chan’s behavior triggered something in Felix that didn’t want Chan to be detached from him. He wasn’t sure if his game of hot and cold was going to lead him to a good place, but he was always living on the edge anyway. He didn’t mind staring at Chan’s ripped tattooed back, but he wasn’t a person who stays at the back.

The other turned around to look at Felix and his glaring eyes moved along his naked body several times before it stopped on his face. 

“Nothing will go wrong. They will die before me if anything happens. You are very important, you know that right?” He replied seriously, deciding to give Felix a bit of information that he probably won’t expect to hear. “When I searched you up I figured out who you are. Someone I shouldn’t mess around with. But I wanted you, so I found you. And I got you.”

“I knew it that you were stalking me…” Felix smiled creepily at Chan. “I was just curious if you were that reckless to stop a bullet for me or something, that’s all.” He winked at his hookup and passed by him without even caring to dry himself in the bathroom. He left small ponds of water after himself and hoped that Chan will be annoyed at that. 

And he was, as the tidy person that he usually was. “I won’t be reckless if I stop a bullet for you. I will be reckless if I let the bullet come your way, sweetie.” The other replied and moved to his wardrobe, going directly for his underwear, dressed up in a bulletproof vest, on top of it black shirt and a pair of black jeans. When he turned around he saw Felix dressing as well, and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, the red spots on Felix’s necks that he left there, were waking up something in him that was making his look linger on the other for long, while he buttoned his shirt slowly. 

Felix looked at the mirror Chan had in his bedroom to check himself and fix up a bit. He noticed something he didn’t see before and snorted. “Did you seriously leave your print on me? Are you some dog?” He turned back to look at Chan who seemed completely unbothered by the way Felix was coming at him, but he also looked hot in his full gear. “Are you getting possessive of me, now?”

“We are over, right?” Chan replied, wearing a very unpleasant expression on his face and stepped closer to Felix when he was done with his shirt, looking at the boy’s reflection in the mirror. He touched the love bites slowly and the thought of ending whatever they had, which was just sex, of course, started to bother him. He didn’t do so much to get kicked in the ass by this brat. “I just wanted to make you annoyed, you know, when you look at yourself now you will get reminded of me.”

“It’s okay sweetie, I’ll always think of you.” Felix raised his hand up to rub Chan’s neck and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “You too, think of me.” He laughed heartily and then his smile disappeared. “Seriously though, I feel like you’re mad at me for not wanting to see you again.”

“You are smart.” Chan didn’t agree or disagree and just escaped his touch, leaving the room without giving Felix more time to bewitch his mind. They had a serious business to do, and to let him play with his head right now was a bad thing. So he moved to the shelf with guns that was still opened, taking one for Felix and pushed it back closed, deciding that he would just use his favorite guns. 

They wouldn’t have time to dig into this topic anymore, but Chan knew that he would come up with another idea when the moment of their separation comes, just because he felt like he didn’t have enough of Felix. 

And his rejection became another reason for Chan to make another move. 


	3. Out of his life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter for you guys! Thanks for the comments, they are so fun to read xD  
> Keep sharing your opinion <3

After that deal, Chan was out of Felix’s life for about two weeks and he never mentioned anything about him to his so-called friends. His life went back on track and if someone were to ask him if he prefers the company of Chan or Minho and Hyunjin he might actually choose Chan. Hyunjin’s annoying ass was whining about that place Minho mentioned a month ago. Minho told them about the underground fights one of his crushes organizes, however, Hyunjin fell for a friend of this guy so they ended up in a completely disgusting place.

Although Felix detested events like that he was forcefully dragged to Demonium, a place where people could fight and earn money, or people could bet on the fighters and earn money. As almost most of the shady places who did an illegal activity that place was in some basement that smelled like dead otters, and Felix completely hated it. It was full of fat mafia bosses, some of whom he recognized, and who went to great him. Minho and Hyunjin were focused on the boxing ring where they waited for the fighters to appear while Felix was playing with his phone, completely hating the whole experience. Maybe he shouldn’t have told Chan they shouldn’t meet after that time, because he would rather be having sex right now, than to be seated next to some old man who was hitting on him. The guy was trying to put his arm around Felix’s shoulders for a while now, and Felix was politely removing it. He was contemplating killing the guy when Hyunjin started talking to him.

“I’m so excited. I have no idea who to be betting on, though.” He said and looked aside at Minho, who’s eyes were all around the place, searching for the one who was taking bets and when he found him, he smirked. 

“On the one who’s hotter of course.” He said and lifted his arm up, catching Jisung’s attention from afar, and continued talking. “If they are both ugly, then we just make a random bet.”  
“And how are you going to know who’s hotter, dumbass?” Hyunjin asked and ran a hand through his hair to make it messy, staring at the same direction that Minho did at the boy who was dressed fully in black, looking confident and hot.

“I am gonna ask him. It's called a trigger question.” Minho replied and smirked.  
“A… what?” Hyunjin laughed, but Jisung was already standing in front of them, so he shut his mouth and let his stupid friend do the talking. 

“Hey, you passed us by like a few times and we wanna spend some money here.” Minho started, still smirking at the boy who was taking the bets. “It's bad to ignore me.”

“I’m sorry, angel. It’s a busy night.” The guy winked at Minho and stepped closer to him so he can have a proper conversation with him. “I’m here now, so tell me, what do you need from me.” The guy had this weird look on his face that triggered Felix in a weird way as if he was looking at Chan and his confident face when he thinks he’s flirting with Felix.

“Well, for now, you can tell me which fighter is worth paying for, and later…. Maybe you can take me to some quiet place.” Minho was a straightforward person who wasn’t giving his hookups hints but instead was very open with what he wanted from them and no matter where they were or who was listening, he was talking openly. “I can take your stress away if you make us win of course.”

“If that’s the case..” Jisung started rubbing his forehead in thought. “I should tell you who is going to win, right? So you could be extra grateful to me later?” Jisung suggested and leaned closer to Minho to whisper in his ear. “My boy Chan, he’s really good. Bet on him, and I’ll bet on you.”

Minho bit his bottom lip and nodded, keeping himself back from grabbing Jisung’s cock in front of all these people and just turned his head so he could look up at him and the sight was so exciting that he felt how his own member was getting hard for no reason. 

“This is so exciting. Okay, give me a moment.” Minho said and turned to his friends, thinking for a second about the name that Jisung just said. “He said that his friend Chan is really good. So let's bet on him, whoever the fuck he is.”

“Chan? My Chan?” Felix asked while he was shrugging off the arm of the annoying man who was still insisting on touching him. “Is it that Chan?”

“Felix, you are confusing,” Hyunjin questioned him with a look. “Who is your Chan?”

“The guy I fucked and then he helped me with the deal I fucked up because of him. You know the blond I picked up in the club like a month ago. He was like some hitman or something.” Felix explained messily. He wasn’t sure if his friends got what he meant, but the thought of seeing Chan again excited him in a way. Especially when he thought about the way Chan acted like a guard dog and growled at the people he had to meet to fix the deal. At one point one of the gorillas of that Kang guy tried to grab Felix’s hand and Chan got him in a twist before Felix could blink. “All I say is he is good.”

“He is hot as well, from what I remember,” Minho said and threw Felix a wink. “I wanted to suck his dick, but you got him instead. Let's bet.” He said and proudly turned to Jisung, taking his wallet out to make his bet and hand the money to Jisung, followed by Hyunjin who also looked excited, trusting Felix’s words without a second doubt.

Felix called one of his guards to come to him and told him to place his bet for him. “Put 500 grand on Chan.” 

“Whoaa.” Jisung gaped at Felix, but took the money from his guard. “You won’t regret this.” He said and gave a wink to Minho. “See ya later, angel.” 

“Make sure to come back to me.” Minho replied playfully and waited for Jisung to walk away before he turned to his friends proudly, stating something that always made Hyunjin feel like his friend is a freak. “I’m gonna whip his back badly. God, his skin is so nice… I have this habit to…”

“Can you shut your filthy mouth?” Hyunjin laughed and shook his head. “God, how are people even having sex with you? You are a freaking psychopath.”  
Minho snorted. “That's why only strong guys can handle me. And my heart never ends up broken, like yours. Bitch.” 

“What’s wrong with both of you?” Felix glared at them. “And can you also tell someone to kill this guy for me, I swear,” Felix growled and slapped the guy on his side when he tried to rub his thigh.

“Your guard is pretty useless again,” Hyunjin said in a matter of fact because before Felix send the dude to make a bet for him, the gorilla didn’t even notice that Felix was bothered and that was like his number one job to do. So Hyunjin waved at his own guard and whispered in his ear, the guy had a stoned expression on his face and nodded, stepping back again only to reach the person who was bothering Felix and tell him something that they couldn’t hear because someone spoke on a mic and started introducing the fighters.  
At last, Felix was freed from the harassment that was aimed at him and could settle comfortably for Chan’s arrival on the boxing ring. He didn’t know why his breath hitched at the sight of Chan stepping on the ring while picking up the ropes to get in. He was topless, and his body looked even more ripped from the previous time, Felix wouldn’t mind licking him up again.

Chan was smiling, his eyes were surrounded by dark circles, but he was still handsome, and the mocking way he was flexing to show off his muscular arms made Felix snort. Another nice thing about Chan was that he had tattoos, but they weren’t stupid. It seemed like he put thought into the artwork and they made him beautiful. 

“Damn,” Felix said when Chan locked eyes with his.

There was a smirk on Chan’s face when he acknowledged Felix, but his eyes quickly left him and he turned to his opponent, who told him something that Felix would never hear because of the loud crowd of people that surrounded the ring, but whatever he said made Chan angry and his smile fell down so fast, replacing with a deep scowl.  
The person with the mic told them to take positions in the two corners of the ring and Felix saw the black-haired guy who he recognized from the club on the first night when he hooked up with Chan, to step closer to the same corner and spoke in Chan’s ear, while giving him the tooth protection thing. 

“Oh god, this is Changbin!” Hyunjin noticed the guy as well and started patting Felix’s hip. “Is he your boy’s coach? God, that's so hot.”

The sound of the bell shut Hyunjin’s mouth and all three of them stared at the beginning of the fight. The people around them were shouting like crazy, some chanting Chan’s name, others calling for the other fighter who was flexing his big muscles, looking like a brick wall that Chan would struggle to pass through. But he avoided the first punch that the guy tried to shove at his face and kicked him in the ribs, which angered the buffed up dude and he started throwing punches at Chan, this time successfully striking his face several times and it looked like Chan was taking the hits well, because he bend down when he was about to eat another fist and punched the guy instead, making his head reel back. And for a second Chan started hitting him straight in the head repeatedly with full force and instead of trying to get rid of him, the guy was starting to back off. 

Since most like everything was legal for this fight, it wasn’t just boring boxing with few kicks, but also raw actions were included, which was how Chan pulled the guy’s, head down and kicked it with his knee, this time sending him on the ground.  
He moved to his corner and his black haired friend grabbed his head, telling him something that made him nod and when he turned around again, his opponent was back on his feet, striking a fist at the side of his head that must hurt a lot, since Chan got dizzy and reached back for the ropes to keep himself up.

Felix jumped at his seat, at the surprising sight of Chan being overtaken. “I’m betting on you, Chan.” He said a bit loudly and he was sure Chan can hear him because he was looking at him, and the tension between them at that moment made Felix’s head dizzy. “Get up, sweetie.” He mouthed and smirked.

Chan broke the eye contact first and pushed himself away from the ropes. Changbin was yelling at him at this point and he was nodding his head, getting back in position. And when his buff enemy went back to the fight, Chan avoided his next few hits, succeeding to punch his chin from underneath, making the guy’s head bounce and that was his opportunity to finish the fight. He hit him one more time, then another one, kicked him on the side to get him distracted and then kind of went crazy on him, throwing punch after punch that looked so powerful that the big guy started to look dizzy. But he didn’t fall down until Chan swung his arm back and threw his last punch with what seemed to be his all force and both of them stepped back. Chan leaned against the ropes, the guy fell down without moving and the referee stepped in to check up on the guy, deciding that he was done. 

Then he stepped towards Chan and picked his wrist, raising his arm up to announce him as a winner. Felix smiled. He didn’t smirk, he smiled. His smile reached his eyes and he was genuinely happy Chan was that skilled. If it wasn’t for his image maybe he would jump on the ring and kiss Chan until he couldn’t breathe, but instead, he kept himself in control and kept smiling at Chan.

“You know, since you put money on him, it's only fair if you let him have his turn on you.” Minho said and smiled at Felix, wiggling his eyebrows playfully. “I know that you don’t like repeating, but that guy is fire. I can take your place if you don’t want him anymore.”

“Try getting near him and I’ll break your arms.” Felix’s smile turned into a frown. “Although I’m sure he won’t even pay attention to you. He’s so whipped for me.”

Hyunjin threw him a look when he heard that. “You are such a player, Felix.”  
“He is sweet.” Minho didn’t seem threatened by Felix at all, maybe because he had other plans and he saw part of it walking towards them along with the bleeding Chan, and that made him smirk. “See you soon, friends. I’m taking my leave.” He said and winked at Chan before taking Jisung’s hand, leaning to talk to him. “I am very horny from this fight. Better take me to your office or wherever the fuck you bring your bitches and spank me bad.”

“Oh, you’re a feisty one. Exactly my type.” Jisung smiled a bit too happy for a situation like that. He let go of Chan, whose waist he was holding as if they were some old couple and took hold of Minho’s waist instead. “Follow me..”

“Oh, I feel left behind now.” Hyunjin whined with a very annoyed expression since he could guess what would happen from now on and he didn’t come for anything.  
But then he got noticed by Chan, who was holding a piece of cloth which he used to stop his bleeding, although not really successfully. 

“I’ve heard of you. You promised Changbin to get your back inked, but you chickened out.” He told Hyunjin and pointed behind himself with his free hand. “He was searching for you.”  
“He was?” Hyunjin seemed flattered and started looking around for the black-haired guy, throwing Felix a quick glance. “I guess you will be on your own now.” He said and smiled at the two of them before carefully passing Chan by and went for his friend, leaving the two of them alone. 

The crowd of rich bastards was getting away after the fight was over and Chan had the chance to talk to Felix now, looking very surprised when his eyes crossed the boy’s face several times. 

“You know, when you talk and look at me while I fight I can’t really focus on what I'm doing” He explained the reason why he nearly failed and frowned. “And a dude promised to blow up my head if I fail, so you could be watching me die.”

“Who the fuck said that?” Felix asked calmly and snatched the cloth Chan was using to clean the blood from his face. He started gently dabbing at the wound under his eye. “I’m gonna blow up their fucking head.”  
Chan would lie if he said that he wasn’t surprised by that action. It really startled him how Felix was gently causing him more pain, probably on purpose, but it made his body tense and he knew that he was too confused to act like he usually did, so he just stared at him blankly. 

“Some rich fucker who came to win some money. I didn’t plan to lose anyway. But I didn't expect to see you here.” Chan said and smiled at him. “What happened to ‘let's pretend that we don’t know each other’, sweetie?”

“My stupid friends dragged me here, only to be harassed by some old man for 3 hours. But then it turned out you’re fighting here. I had no idea.” Felix explained and started fixing Chan’s messy hair. It was just an excuse to touch his hair, and he wasn’t sure why was he doing all of this for Chan. He wasn’t very touchy, but he was cleaning Chan’s wounds as if it was second nature to him. It wasn’t and as long as Chan didn’t know Felix was going out of his way for him Felix was safe. “And when I saw you… you almost got smashed… I couldn’t let you fail, sweetie.” Felix laughed.

The pet name that he usually used to call Felix sounded so good coming out of him now, that Chan felt how his cock was getting hard by the thought of having him again. He kind of gave up on Felix and his idea to get him whipped because he had a lot of dirty business to do and he hadn’t had time to sleep, not to mention stalk Felix again. In his free time, Chan was getting himself knocked out, which helped him forget about this pretty face, but having him close now brought back everything that he was killing with drugs. 

“I know that you don’t wanna have anything to do with me…” He said and caught Felix’s distracting hand, pulling it down from his head and ruined that confusing moment when he brought that small hand against his own dick, biting his lip at Felix’s pretty frown. “But I wanna do it again… think about it, sweetie. Think about how good I can fuck you.”

“You got hard just because I’m touching you?” Felix removed his hand from Chan’s dick, and his frown deepened. 

The other released quiet laughter and bend his head low, but his sharp eyes focused on Felix with some kind of glare. “You play me so good.” He said seriously. “I guess you were seriously considering to never ride me again. Okay then, I guess I had to screw someone else for the two weeks that I spent thinking about you.”

Felix smirked. There was something about the way Chan felt miserable about Felix. Felix didn’t feel miserable about it, but he would fuck Chan again, especially after the fight. Felix was a person who had good self-control, he developed throughout the years he was trying to turn off his emotions. He hated how Chan was trying to turn them on, but he was okay with Chan turning him on in other ways. 

Felix cupped Chan’s face and squeezed it in an attempt to show dominance. “Beg for it.” He whispered leaning closer to Chan’s face.

Chan’s eyebrows furrowed and he stared at Felix’s piercing eyes, feeling overpowered in a way that only his body liked. The word ‘beg’, made his cock twitch and he was very hard right now, while his brain was protesting against the thought to be so lame and beg someone to bare their ass for him.  
But Felix was sophisticated and Chan was having a weak spot for him, which made everything so complicated through these two weeks. He was indeed restricting himself from having another hookup and the thought was bothering him for days because he had no reason to wait for a miracle to happen. 

But as he bit his bruised bottom lip, Chan knew that he got it bad this time.  
“You’re gonna regret making me do this.” He promised, putting both of his hands on Felix’s waist, skillfully sliding under the shirt that he was wearing so he could feel his warm skin, and when he did, it kind of washed away every proper thought out of his head. “Let me fuck you like a little bitch… please.” he obeyed to Felix and smirked.

Felix removed his body from Chan’s and smirked. “Good boy.” He reached his hand out to grab Chan’s and pulled him with him, just like that first night they did it. “Lead the way.”  
He liked the way Chan obeyed because it meant that Chan can get attached, but Felix won’t. Chan was offering a good dick, and Felix didn’t need to waste time to find another person. Felix felt a thrill at the realization that Chan might be willing to do much more for him than he could even think of. “You’re so whipped.”  
“You have no idea.” Was what Chan nearly growled and lead Felix out of the dirty hall, doing it from the backside where only the fighters could enter and he knew exactly where he wanted to take Felix, so he lead him to his changing room, pushing him in almost urgently, shutting the door closed with Felix’s back.

And it was almost like their first time when Chan went down on his knees, bringing his hands to undo the pants of the other, showing him nothing but that lust that he had for these days where he could get this because of Felix’s stubbornness.  
He didn’t say anything when he pulled Felix’s pants down along with his boxers and took his cock in his hold, joining with his lips that wrapped around the head of it and guided it into his mouth. Felix groaned at the sensation, Chan was always so good to him. He has to be an idiot to let go of him.

“Look at you, taking my dick so well.” His small hand quickly found its way in Chan’s hair and started tugging at it. “And you were so angry at me for not wanting to suck you off.” He let out a quiet moan and Chan started picking up his pace. “Keep doing that and I might keep you on the regular.”

Chan wanted to kill that confidence that Felix had, but he knew the right time for it. He let him talk shit, for now, only expressing his irritation by scratching his legs, holding him in place to get him turned on enough so Felix could get his dick without getting prepared.  
He pulled back after a moment and looked up at him, glaring. 

“Turn around now and get your regular.” He said while standing up and caught Felix by the chin, making him look straight at him. His eyes were burning with anger and he was slightly shaking, staring at Felix like that for some time before his lips parted and he said something that surprised even him. “I missed you.”

That got Felix frowning. Chan’s handsome face seemed disturbed, which made Felix realize that Chan didn’t think of his words as serious. “I’m serious about keeping you on the regular. You don’t have to miss me.” It was one of the most affectionate replies Felix had ever come with in his entire life. Keeping Chan would be easy for him because he could dispose of him at any moment, and Chan didn’t even have to know about his intentions. If Felix was cruel to Chan and toyed with him like that, it meant that he still doesn’t possess any emotions. This wasn’t Chan getting to him. It was Felix using Chan.

The sharp way that Felix cut him off reached him too fast and Chan rolled his eyes, releasing his face in the second. He got even angrier as he turned Felix over and forced him to bend over, deciding that he gave him too much freedom to act around as if Chan was his personal fuckboy. If that was the case, then Chan was fine with showing Felix only what he wanted to see, he was okay with making him feel only what he wanted to feel.  
Chan undid the tie over his shorts and pushed them down, along with his boxers and spat on his hand, wrapping it around his cock to get it ready for action. 

“You can shut up now and bend down for me.” He said and started thinking about his emotions that seemed all over the place when Felix didn’t really obey and he had to adjust the blonde for himself, giving him back the hard time as he pushed his cock into him not really gently, going all the way so he could hear Felix whine.

“God..” Felix growled, because Chan actually hurt him, and he was more than shocked. “Chan it hurts, stop being a bitch every time you don’t...” And Chan started pounding into him, Felix figured just to shut him up. “Chan..” He took a hold of the hand Chan had on him to hold him properly while slapping his hips into Felix’s. “Calm down a bit.”

Chan sighed, finally releasing the breath that he was holding and Felix’s touch made his whole body shiver and he started to freak out by his current reactions because it seemed like he was too impatient, too angry, too urgent and he took a moment to think about it, while slowing down so the other could stop whining. His fingers tangled with Felix’s as he kept his own tiny hand on top of his and the sensation of that was melting the ice in Chan.  
He didn’t want to hurt him, he figured quickly. But Felix was too cocky just because Chan flattered him with few words and that probably made him act as if he was in control of everything. 

Well, right now when he was pressed face against that door, he wasn’t. 

“You treat me bad and it fired back. How does it feel, sweetie?” Chan said lowly and thrust deep in him, moaning in the action because he was too hard to keep himself slow. 

“You’re bipolar, cuz one time you fuck me like…you hate me” His breath hitched when Chan hit a spot, but Felix wanted to get his point through. “And the next…” Chan slammed Felix’s head in the door and the other whined. “You fuck me like you love me.” He finally finished. He was sure that Chan wouldn’t be so confident when making a mess out of Felix in his moment of rage. “Tell me, did that backfire for you?”

Chan’s lips were set in a thin line and he glared at Felix’s back, feeling how his heart was making flip after flip and that emotion was freaking him out. Felix was talking about bullshit that Chan was definitely not feeling, but he felt it hard to deny his words.  
What was wrong now? Why was he stubborn? Why wasn’t he saying anything to Felix?

“You’ll have to do…. A lot more than giving me your ass to make me fall for you.” He said after what seemed forever and slipped his hand from Felix’s one, using it to move along the other’s spine. And he started fucking him again, doing it with the same powerful speed that he did, because it was making his tensed up body feel in control and it perfectly screwed up his mind. 

“Ahh... I forgot how stubborn can crackheads be.” Felix breathed out and turned his head a bit to take a look at Chan. “You’re so pretty even when your face is smashed.” He would never have conversations with the people he fucked, while they were in the act, but it seemed like he had to have all these fights with Chan while they were fucking. He really wanted to look at Chan’s face and touch his hair, and kiss him, but he could guess Chan wouldn’t let him. So he turned his head back to the door and bit his lip, to stop the stream of moans that were about to escape from his mouth. 

“Are we gonna hold conversations about me, sweetie?” Chan hissed while he was pounding into him, leaving red trail over Felix’s back when he scratched him, thrusting one last time before he made a pause and stared at the other angrily. “Did you get fucked hard like this while you were ignoring me?”

“YES!” Lies. “Two days ago I got two guys at once.” He felt Chan tensing and smirked. Felix had this cruel side to him that couldn’t die even when Chan was pounding into him like that, and he had been thinking about Chan. He couldn’t let Chan know, he had to keep up the ice-cold wall he had put between them. “They were so good to me Chan.”

The other sighed again and his eyes closed for a moment. He had no idea why he felt so pissed at Felix’s attitude this time, but it felt like he wasn’t going to stop, so instead of trying to fight him off with words, Chan used that time to fuck him hard, thinking of how he had to act with this brat after they finish.  
Tell him to fuck off and keep being a stranger? Tell him to come by when he feels like getting a dick? 

He started moaning when the sex was getting intense and his body started shivering with pleasure, reminding him that it was time to fill up this boy and shut his dirty mouth. And that was exactly what he did, taking a hard hold of Felix’s waist and kept thrusting into him until the pressure in him was about to burst. And instead of announcing it for Felix, Chan just grunted and orgasmed in him, keeping the fast speed no matter what, while his whole body shook with satisfaction. 

Felix hated when someone cums in him, that’s why it wasn’t something that happened often, but Chan managed to do that every single time and Felix wasn’t even done. He decided that if it was his last time with Chan he has to be extra mean and get back at him for the way he treated him. “I love you, Chan.” He said and turned his head back at Chan. He was sure Chan liked him, and probably what Felix said would make him extremely annoyed because he would know Felix is fucking with him. And Felix got off at the thought of Chan’s mental turmoil, that’s why he grabbed his own dick to pump it to release.

“You really wanna get rid of me.” The other realized, feeling how his head was pulsing from all that overthinking, and he had no idea why Felix acted this way, but he wanted to give him peace of his mind. He pulled out of him and reached to his front to guide his hand until he was done, and the quiet breaths were making him even more pissed because he didn’t get to hear Felix at all, he didn’t get to enjoy him and he started to figure that Felix came in this room with him not just because he missed the sex with him, but because he wanted to fuck him up. 

Felix finally managed to find his release by his own efforts. Chan was almost useless for his pleasure and the realization of that calmed him. At one point he felt like Chan was fucking up his emotional walls, but it turned out he’s another weak ass fuck that wasn’t worthy even of his attention. “Fuck..” He said as he shot his load at the door. “You’ve got some cleaning to do.” Felix leaned his whole body on the door while trying to catch his breath. 

And he missed seeing the confused expression on Chan’s face. He was so freaked out by Felix that he couldn’t wait to pull his pants up, finding his dignity around the floor as well and grabbed hard on it. The realization that Felix was playing around with him for his own entertainment was pissing him off, but what was more bothersome was how he looked like he was mocking Chan for some reason. Why? Because he said that he missed him? Well, maybe it was a weak move, but he could say whatever the fuck he wanted at any time. If Felix didn’t like it, he could gladly kick him out of this room and finally move on the next bitch that wouldn’t be so demanding and crazy. 

“Why are you getting on my nerves?” He asked Felix and stepped away from him, resting himself against the table where his belongings were. His eyes were glaring at the other and he couldn’t wait for Felix to turn around and face him. “Because I want you? That's a fucking issue, right? Next time don’t even look at me. I will fucking beat you up, I give you my word.”

Felix smirked when he heard the bullshit coming out of Chan’s mouth. He pushed his body from the door so he could take a look at Chan, who was so hot and bothered that Felix almost felt sorry for having to leave him. “No, you won’t.” He started pulling his pants up, but the realization that he has to feel Chan’s cum until he gets home made him frown. “You’ll come up to me and beg to fuck me…” Felix finally looked up at Chan again and smiled, that smile of a person who enjoys inflicting pain on other people. Maybe he was a sadist. “And I’ll say no.”

Chan bit his bottom lip and sat down on the lonely chair that surrounded that table, taking something out of the pocket of his jacket that would get Felix out of his head with almost no effort.  
He spread the powder down on the surface of the table and used his bank card to line it up perfectly before he shot Felix a smile as well, but a wicked one. 

“You can’t say no to me.” He said and leaned down to snort the line in one go, which made his tired body tense up for a moment. 

Felix quickly approached Chan and harshly picked up his face to make him look in his eyes. “I thought you’re not doing powders.” Felix was worried. He was sure of that emotion because he felt it every time when he fucked up a job. He felt fear. But he didn’t know why, or he didn’t know why Chan was making him feel at all, and that was scaring him. “What did you take?”

“My dignity.” Chan shot him a smile, but his mind was quickly going into a daze and he felt relaxed enough. This was always helping when he couldn’t control himself and he needed a little push. And he knew that for the rest of the night he wouldn’t have any tasks, so after four days in a roll, he could finally pass out in his apartment and sleep until someone wakes him up for some bullshit. But Felix was so confusing right now, looking down at him with his pretty eyes, that nasty glare was gone from his face and he didn’t sound mean, or just Chan’s drugged head was making up stories and images.

“You are so pretty, Felix, it makes me wanna shoot myself.” He said in his daze, and his vision started spinning. Too bad that Jisung and Changbin were fucking right now. He had to wait for one of them to take him home. 

“Come here, let’s take you home.” Felix said, ignoring Chan’s compliments and nudged him to get up and support himself on Felix. “You’re a real pain in the ass..”

Chan picked up his jacket and let the other take him out, not really thinking about why Felix was even doing that, but his question was on the tip of his tongue and he shot it while they were walking out of the club. 

“The back exit is there.” He pointed aside at some suspiciously looking door and looked at Felix. “My friends are still fucking your friends. So I guess I should let you go and wait for them.”

“I said I’m taking you home. I don’t give a shit about my friends.” Felix stated and grabbed Chan’s hand. Maybe he wouldn’t allow himself the freedom, but he locked their fingers, which made the whole situation look weird, but he believed that that way he’ll have a better grip at Chan if he decides to protest again. “Not gonna leave your drugged ass do weird shit.”

Chan pulled and that action made Felix stop on his tracks. He looked seriously at him, or at least tried to, and decided to give him a piece of his mind again.  
“Why the fuck do you care? You seriously gave me the worst sex, talked shit and when I decided to relax before I break your pretty head, you wanna act nice to me?” He said and stepped closer until their faces were inches away from one another. “You didn’t even kiss me.”

“Would you move your stubborn ass if I kiss you?” Felix asked without hiding the annoyance painted on his face. 

BangChan thought for a moment. “Yes.” He said shortly and his look slid over Felix’s lips, starting at them impatiently.

Felix pulled Chan’s head closer with his free hand and smashed their lips together, he expected Chan to be slow, because of the drugs, but once their mouths connected he didn’t have the patience to wait for Chan to settle a pace, so he violently shoved his tongue in his mouth, and started playing with his hair. 

And Chan felt how his entire body melted because of Felix, and he put his hands on his body again, gripping his firm ass with both of his hands while he let Felix dominate the kiss as he wished to, but he got out of breath too fast and turned his head aside, gasping for air. 

“Wait, I’m gonna die.” He said and burst into laughter, bumping his head against Felix’s shoulder. “I will be honest. Changbin shoved this in my pocket, so I’m not very sure what it is, but it makes me feel so good. I should ask him for a pack of it.”

“No, you shouldn’t.” Felix whispered and hoped Chan didn’t hear because that might mislead him. But the sight of Chan snorting suspicious shit made him shudder with disgust and he wasn’t sure if it was because he detests intoxicating shit, or because it’s Chan. “Can we go now?” He said and pulled away from Chan.

The other didn’t protest, just let Felix drag him into a car and he didn’t even feel a threat when Felix drove quietly, but Chan had his eyes aside on his serious face the entire time, feeling both tired and relaxed. His heart was kind of racing, but he knew that it was just his body that was protesting because of the lack of sleep and the usage of drugs when he was too weak to take it. 

“I’m so tired… I had to make sure that one bitch won’t get killed, a hooker in some club who killed a client because he was doing sadistic shit to her.” He started pouring information without even thinking about it and leaned his head against the seat, closing his eyes for a moment. “At the same time, three other people were selling drugs illegally in a place that's not their territory.”

“You shouldn’t be telling this to me.” Felix said while changing gears. He kept his eyes on the road, avoiding to look at Chan who looked more messed up than usual. Felix wondered what kind of shit did he take to look so messed up and even start spilling shit about his work. “I’m glad I didn’t leave you there alone. You could have gotten yourself in trouble.”

“Well, it's not like you will go and kill the bitch, right?” Chan shrugged. “I didn’t give you a name. And to be honest, Felix, we are more connected than you think. You just never tried to find out.”

“If I asked what’s your name..” Felix stopped at a red light and slightly took a look at Chan “Would you have said it to me? Cuz I doubt it.”

The other was very unbothered, feeling the effect of the drug with every part of his body, and since he was aware that Felix didn’t give a damn about him, he wondered why would he keep secrets when the other lost his interest anyway. 

So he said it.  
“Its Chris. I’m not born here.” He said freely and then added. “Christopher Bang actually. The same Bang that your dad loves to collaborate with. That's why I got a call to save your important ass.”

The light changed to green, but Felix still didn’t pay attention to that since the new information about Chan was disclosed to him. “What? I can’t believe we fucked. You know they’re gonna kill us right? My father doesn’t know I’m gay.” 

That made Chan’s eyes to snap open and he turned his head to look at the other. “My dad turned me into a killer, so he doesn’t care what else i am”

“I wish.. Mine is looking for a wife for me. I’m waiting for a surprise in the coming months. God, Chan, this is fucked up.” Felix started the car again, but then the realization of Chan not being Chris’ name hit him. “Then what is the whole Chan thing?”

“False identity? Come on, if you tried searching me up, you wouldn’t find anything. Even now. Chris Bang is just a rich heir of the Bang family, a boring guy. While Bang Chan is a ghost who runs around the underground. This is keeping me safe.” The other said and for a second, he thought that Felix was actually interested in what he was telling him. 

“Makes sense. I noticed that you’re not the regular type of brainless cleaner.” Felix laughed and reached his hand out to pat Chan’s thigh. “What do you prefer then, Chris or Chan?”

“You can moan whatever you like, sweety” Chan replied and put his hand on top of Felix’s one, caressing the back of it as he fell into some hole that made him feel like he was sulking in that seat. “Or you can just call me daddy.”

Felix pulled his hand out of Chan’s light grip and stopped the car in front of Chan’s place. “Do you need help going up?” Felix tried to change the tone of the conversation, when he realized Chan is slipping into flirting again.

“No.” He replied and picked his jacket in hold again, staring at the Felix in the dim lights that were coming from outside, finding him so attractive that it was hard to look away. “So, what is gonna be this time?” He asked. “Pretend that you don’t know me for another six weeks and then fuck me like crazy?”

“I guess we’ll be meeting for business, so maybe keeping the good tone will be acceptable?” Felix suggested, and this time there was no bite in his words.

“No fucking?” Chan figured, running his tongue over his bruised bottom lip.

“I can’t do this Chan. What if my father finds out?” Felix reached out to release Chan’s lip from his bite, which appeared a lot more affectionate than he intended, but they already crossed so many lines, and Chan was so high, it probably wouldn’t mean a thing. “I would have agreed on the fucking before you told me who you actually are, though.”

Chan nodded. “Good luck at finding yourself a replacement.” He said mockingly and pulled away, opening the door as he got out of the car with a struggle, blaming the effect of the drug for his little failure that continued while he was trying to reach his apartment building. 

Felix didn’t start the car until Chan got into the building. He didn’t realize when the roles reversed, but when Chan was helping him handle the deal Felix felt as if Chan was some kind of a shield for him, not only physically. And now that Chan was in that state, Felix felt tensed and anxious as if he was the one who had to protect him. It was sad. Chan wasn’t disturbed, he was toyed with. His father was using him only because he was skilled, and Felix knew everything about Chan’s family because it was part of his job. Although Chan didn’t know Felix was actually protecting him by staying away from him. “You’re getting to me?” He asked himself and started hitting the wheel. He couldn’t calm down for a very long time before he was able to drive back to his home.


	4. Don't act like you don't want this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer update for you~Lets hope that you love it haha

The handle of the red twin-gun spun in his hand skilfully and pressed against the side of a head that he wished he could blow up. But he was waiting for instructions that were coming too slow for some reason.   
Chan was having a cheating bastard in his hands and he was so happy, originally because the same asshole was kind of screwing over the family and got his sister exposed when she was calmly shopping in a mall center.   
So to blow up his brain was tempting now when the guy was tied up against the chair and Chan stopped hearing Jusnu in the device in his ear. 

“You are a puppet, you know, kid? How old are you?” The guy casually asked, smiling up at him with his freaky smile that started to pull Chan’s strings.   
“It doesn’t matter. What matters is the loaded bullet, right?” Chan replied and raised an eyebrow. “I’m no saint, I won’t listen to your crap.”  
“Well, if this is gonna be my last conversation with a person, I’m taking all the advances.” The man said and Chan held the gun even closer to his temple, which didn’t surprise the man. “You look young. I guess you don’t have family on your own… but maybe you love someone.” He said and looked up to meet Chan’s eyes. “If you do, you will stop for a moment and think about how they would feel when you die.”

“Listen, dickhead.” Bang Chan hissed and leaned closer to his head, getting even more impatient to blow up his head and stop him from talking shit about sentimental love and feelings that the bastard should have thought about before he messed up with the Bangs. “You had to stop for a moment and think about them before you fucked up. Or before you tried to kill my sister.” 

The man smirked. “I would have strangled this bitch before she makes the important connection that she will make very soon.” He said and started laughing. “She is not your weakness, am I right? You are not angry because I tried to kill her, but because you will be responsible for not taking care of her. One person, split into pieces all around the quarters. You will die young, boy. Because you are a puppet like I said.”

Chan smiled mockingly and then a static sound stopped him from talking back.   
“Can I blow up his head now?” He asked and heard a sigh in his head. 

“Sure, I thought you did that already. I was getting a bitch on my dick.” Junsu said and Chan’s eyes rolled with annoyance. 

“Fuck off, man.” He mumbled and before he could say anything else, Junsu spoke again. 

“When you finish, leave the corpse there. I sent Jiyong and the others to transfer him to his boss and deliver the message.” 

“What about me?” Chan asked and looked down at the man whose faith was in his hands now. 

“Well, the Lee boss contacted me when i was about to fill up the bitch, telling me that his precious son is having a deal in our quarters. I will send you the address and make sure to be there in 15 minutes.” Junsu explained and Chan felt how his heart skipped a beat. 

“Felix?”

“Yes, that’s his name. The same Felix that you have to keep your hands off from. He is making a delivery with a gang leader named Dong, so their meeting is at a safe territory. Our territory. Just make sure that things will go smoothly.” Junsu said and ended the call, and before Chan could make a decision of what to do first, his phone buzzed and he saw an address on his screen. 

He put the phone back in his pocket and stared at the man who’s mad eyes were locked at him, and that nasty look that was sparkling in them now made him tense.   
“Lee Felix, huh?” He asked, releasing quiet laughter that echoed in the whole abandoned building. “You know, he would be my next task after I shoot your sister in the head. Do you wanna know why?”

Chan felt how anger started running in his veins by the thought of this sneaky bastard, approaching and daring to harm Felix. He hadn’t felt this angry when he got the news about his sister, he wasn’t this angry when he chased this bastard down and took him to an underground station at 12 am at the night. He wasn’t pissed when he brought him in this abandoned auto house and tied him down to a chair, waiting for instructions of what to do with him.   
But he was angry now, knowing that this nasty asshole could have followed Felix and do God knows what. 

Chan got him now, and he would be responsible for his miserable life. 

“Any final words?” He asked and the anger was making his voice shake.   
The man nodded, laughing like some lunatic. “I wasn’t the only one after him. Does that make you shake, little boy? Are you scared of losing him now?”

Chan’s hand trembled and he took a sharp breath in, not even blinking when he pulled the trigger and blew up that bastard’s head. His heart skipped a beat when blood splashed on him as well, but he didn’t flinch.   
He pulled his hand back and looked at the damage that his perfect gun did. Well deserved.   
But the creep had his eyes open, they were staring at him, and his freaking words echoed in his head while he was making his way out of that fucking place. 

“Bring him to his boss,” Chan told the guy who was already waiting outside and the man nodded, getting in after he left. 

Chan looked at the building for the last time before driving away, still thinking over what the creep said before he blew up his head.   
So there were people after Felix? Did Felix’s father know about it? Was Felix aware of that as well?  
Its been a month nearly since Chan had last seen Felix and their separation was something that made Chan rethink his stupid actions and he took the decision to be strong and independent again. He didn’t ask Woojin about Felix again, he didn’t go to any of the places that he knew he could see Felix, he was just simply following his routine, moving on from that affair. 

But Chan needed too much time to get Felix out of his head and it was very disturbing. When he was high, he was thinking of Felix, when he was trying new stuff, like taking pills, he had Felix on the back of his head, wondering if the blonde would be disappointed to see him literally fainting in places that could bring him trouble.   
Changbin told him several times that he was acting weird, but Chan just shrugged it off, explaining to his friend that he was just nervous because of the lack of sleep. 

The lack of sleep was another thing that was bothering him because every day he was facing struggles to rest without thinking about that pretty boy with the wild eyes, who was taking his dick way too good.

“Where to, now…” He mumbled, taking his phone out to check the address that Junsu sent to him and attached it to the GPS, driving fast through the empty streets. 

Chan wasn’t having sex. That was a very huge problem for someone who was used to have his dick shoved in someone’s face at least. But it was getting complicated for him to find room for hookups, which was probably the reason why he was edgy and angry most of the time, why he couldn’t sleep and why he was constantly thinking about Felix.   
Because he was the last time who fucked with him. 

He arrived on the address under those 15 minutes that Junsu gave him and parked his car a bit away from the spot of the deal, looking around for Felix.   
Chan spotted two gorillas in front of a car and figured that the one inside was indeed Felix, so he looked down at himself and his bloody clothes, thinking that it wasn’t the best appearance that he could pull off, but it didn’t matter. 

Felix didn’t want him, no matter how he looked.   
Chan approached with his two guns in both hands, looking dead serious as he glanced at the gorillas and just greeted them with a nod. 

“Tell him to come out.” He figured that these men were informed of his assistance, and he was right because one of them touched his ear and said something that sounded like ‘he is here too’, while the other knocked on the black window of the car and waited for Felix to come out. 

Felix opened the door of the car and took a look at Chan, who was covered in blood, and his face seemed exhausted. He stepped out of the car and approached him with confident steps. He knew his father would call him because according to him Felix wasn’t as brilliant during these meetings as he used to be, so maybe he needs help or even protection if Felix starts irritating the buyers. Which happened twice by now.

“Did they make you do 7 things on the same day again?” He asked casually when he reached Chan.  
“I just had two days of tracking down a guy who was calling me a little boy while I was holding a gun against his head,” Chan replied ironically and lifted the same gun up for Felix to admire it since it was a special creation made up for Chan. “It was fun watching him die, you know?”  
“Did he hit a sensitive spot? You have this creepy look. Was it revenge?” Felix kept intruding in Chan’s mission although he knew it was unprofessional and Chan wasn’t allowed to talk about this.

But the other looked at him somehow distractedly and nodded. “Not revenge. But he said few things that got me angry.” He said and his eyes stared at Felix’s face long enough for him to realize that he wasn’t cured. It felt like it doesn’t matter how many months would pass, because at the moment when Felix looked at him and gave him his attention, Chan felt like his deep voice was going to melt him. 

“Well, we should go now. Please protect me.” Felix said mockingly and looked at Chan with a playful smile on his lips.

“Always.” Chan said a bit more serious than he wished, but that was his job for the night and he took it seriously when they moved to the arranged place, delivering that truck with guns to that Dong boss, who turned out to be a very weird, but a calm guy. 

They spent 30 minutes to listen about some gangs in his territory that were causing trouble, killing his men, his hookers and he just needed more power to fill up their asses with bullets. After that he shook Felix’s hand, called him beautiful and decided that Chan was Felix’s personal assistant, because his men handed him the suitcase with money, making him count down all the fucking money as if he wanted to make sure that the deal was fair.   
And it was. The Dong boss kissed Felix’s hand, which proved Chan’s mental statement that he was a freaking fag, but he retreated before Chan could make the bad decision to blow up his head and cause a family war. 

Fifteen minutes later they were back to their cars and Felix guards got in first, caring the money, while Felix and Chan stood outside in the dark, nasty alley, looking at each other like they had no idea how to start a conversation.   
Well, who could blame them? They broke all kinds of connection for a month. 

“That guy was totally hitting on you.” Chan said, breaking the silence and took out his pack of rolled weed cigarettes, putting one into his mouth and lightened it up, casually smoking in front of Felix. 

“You’ve no idea how many old guys hit on me every single day.” Felix rolled his eyes at Chan when he started puffing the smoke in his face. “Can you stop doing drugs in front of me?” He finally snapped and snatched the cigarette from Chan’s mouth, threw it on the ground and stepped on it. “Also, that’s for my ice cream.” He stated childishly and folded his arms on his chest. 

“You still remember this?” Chan was impressed, but even though he was smiling at Felix, he still pulled out another cigarette and lightened it up stubbornly. “I need my stress relief, if I don’t do this, I’m gonna freak out.”

“Why?” Felix asked and stared in Chan’s eyes as if he was staring at the sky or something because he was seeing stars. Was that the way Chan was looking at him, with his sparkly eyes?

“I’m just acting like a stubborn virgin.” The other said mockingly and pulled hard from the weed, not even coughing because he was so used to that shit that it didn’t even make him feel bad anymore. “But lack of sex is making me too tensed. Poor guys in the underground fights. They take all my energy every night.”

“Do you miss me?” Felix asked it so straightforwardly as if he wasn’t the one who pushed Chan away.

“Does it matter?” Chan’s eyes rolled all over Felix’s pretty face and this friendly conversation started to pull his strings in a bad way because he really missed him. In fact, he was one step from telling Felix to join him on the back seat of his car and ride his dick until the last drop, but he knew that if he acted like a pathetic bastard, Felix wasn’t going to get impressed. 

But Felix wasn’t stupid and he already learned how to read Chan’s emotions when it came to him. So he just took a look at his guards who were waiting for him in the car and then he leaned closer to whisper in Chan’s ear. “Beg for it, Chan. I won’t say no.”

Chan’s body shivered and he nearly grabbed Felix on the sides, but stopped his hands midway, biting his bottom lip. The weed cigar fell down from his fingers and he leaned close to Felix’s ear as well, knowing that they had to be more secret. 

“Please, sweety, please ride my dick. Tell them to fuck off.” He sounded so desperate, but his body responded to Felix’s quiet voice and the thought of fucking him blinded him for everything else and made him urgent to get his dose of this boy.   
It was insane how they met after one month and Felix was ready to play with him again, speaking of giving him chance to get in his pants again even though he drew a line between them weeks ago. 

Was he urgent like him as well? Did he want Chan’s dick all this time or he fucked others again…. 

Felix turned to his guards in the car and knocked on the window. The guard rolled the window down and Felix gave his orders. “Something came up, I’m gonna take him with me, you can go.” The guard mumbled something and drove off. Felix turned back to Chan when they were finally alone and crushed their foreheads together. “You look soo hot with that blood on you…”

Chan finally used his hands to grab Felix’s ass and broke the distance between their faces almost urgently, kissing him briefly.   
“God, I wanna fuck you so bad, you have no idea.” He mumbled against Felix’s lips and kissed him messily while pushing him towards his car.   
“Hurry up, then. It’s been so long. You’re not the only virgin here.” Felix said mockingly and pulled Chan to kiss him sloppily.  
The other smiled against his lips, feeling totally turned on and a moment after he pulled away from Felix, opening the back door and got in, rushing to unzip his jeans and slid them down, while he watched how Felix joined in next to him, closing the door. 

“Get your jeans off, sweety.” He said and bit his lip, taking a condom out of his own, since he was caring that shit when he thought that it was time to have sex with someone, so he wanted to take advantage of it now, knowing how irritated Felix was to not be able to clean his cum after they fuck. “This time you won’t feel me.”

“Who cares” Felix mumbled while fighting with his pants. “Just hurry up, okay.” He said again and slapped Chan’s hands away from the condom when he was taking too long to open it. He ripped the package open with his teeth and took out the sleezy rubber. “Come here. Spread your legs.” He demanded again, and Chan just obeyed seemingly in a daze. Chan’s pants were down to the middle of his thighs when Felix pumped Chan’s dick to full hardness with his sticky hand and then rolled the rubber down on Chan’s cock. He doesn’t do that for anyone. Felix doesn’t care about other people’s pleasure, but he was doing many things for Chan already, things he couldn’t explain to himself either. He went in for Chan’s neck, first thing after he was done with putting the condom on him and after he took some time on sucking a red spot on it he proceeded to settle himself on Chan’s dick.

He could feel him pulsing under his ass when he straddled him and started rubbing his ass over Chan’s length. At that point he didn’t care about preparation or anything, because he just let Chan push his dick in his hole raw, hoping that the condom would be enough to help the process. 

“Oh fuck” Felix groaned when Chan’s dick went through his tight hole.  
“You are so tight baby” Chan groaned and took hold of Felix’s ass, guiding him all the way down as he pushed his hips up, and the feeling of Felix being stretched by him made his heart race. “Fuck, so sexy… ride me, sweety.”  
“It’s what you thought about all this time, isn’t it?” Felix asked lowly and put both of his hands on the back of the seats behind Chan to support himself. He started off slowly, while he was still adjusting to Chan’s size that ripped his walls so suddenly.

“Sometimes…” Chan replied and looked up at his face in the darkness that surrounded them and started pushing his hips slowly, moaning each time that he was getting deep in the other, feeling him still clenched up, but there was a thing that Chan wanted and he got desperate to have it. “Please moan for me.” He said weakly, wrapping his arms around Felix in a way to keep him so close to himself that he was getting breathless already, but he started off a slow pace, thrusting up in the other.

Felix slid himself down on Chan’s dick and let out a few grunts before he was able to let out a proper moan “Chan, you’re soo good to me today.” Felix started picking up his pace and moved one of his hands to Chan’s face. “So pretty..” He tilted his head and moaned some more, for the good boy Chan was.

And these sounds were driving him crazy, sending thrills down his back, making him urgent to hear more, so he moved his hands down on Felix’s waist and started thrusting up in his hole, fucking him so good like that, moaning along with him as the air in that car started to get less and less, making them both sweaty and gasping, but Chan didn’t want to slow down even for a second.   
He finally got what his body wanted, he was holding Felix in his arms, he was fucking him deep, he was feeling him all over himself and it was so good that he started searching for his lips, biting on Felix’s bottom one out of frustration. 

“If you…. If you need me again someday… I will fill you up like you hate, sweety.” He started making promises, tensing up from pleasure but he didn’t want to cum before Felix this time, so one of his hands moved to Felix’s dick and wrapped around it, stroking it fast.   
Felix started moaning at the feeling of Chan’s hand on his dick, and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He was exposing so much of himself when he was fucking Chan, that he wasn’t sure if he was making a mistake. “Yes, do that again.” He said instead and decided to not think about anything else. Not that Chan was allowing him to do that.

“You like that, don’t you?” Chan mumbled and kept stroking him, pushing his hips up to fuck him deep as well and it started to get hard on him to restrict himself from getting off, but he wanted to witness Felix’s release first and make him cum while Chan was still very hard on him, which never happened in their last sexual interactions. “Cum for me baby... I know how badly you need that.”

Felix looked at Chan’s dark eyes that were full of lust, although he was already on the edge. What a weirdo, Felix thought, but to Chan’s satisfaction, this time Felix was the first one to cum because Chan was so urgent and focused on Felix, that the other let it all go when Chan started asking so nicely. Chan’s dick was still hard in his ass, so Felix tried to keep up a pace for him before he collapses any second.

And feeling his release on his hand was what Chan needed to fill up that fucking condom. He let out few deep groans when he thrust last time in Felix, orgasming inside the plastic thing and his eyes closed when it happened, the strong bliss of finally being able to have sex made him smile and his head dropped back on the seat.   
He was shaking like a bitch now, but a whole fucking month without having this satisfaction was making him more ruthless than he was, which was a total contrast to how he felt now when he had Felix seated on his lap, looking so tired and pretty that he wanted to kiss him until he died from the lack of air. 

Instead of that, Chan lifted his hand up and let Felix watch over him while he licked his cum slowly, keeping his eyes on Felix the whole time. 

“Ew” Felix said and blinked tiredly at Chan. “I was going to kiss you..”

“What's the problem? You tasted yourself when I sucked you off.” Chan reminded him of that time and pulled his head down for a kiss, forcing it on the other. 

Felix pulled away when he managed to escape Chan’s grip and glared at him. “You taste kinda nice when your mouth is not full of cum, you dumbass.” Felix slapped Chan’s head lightly, but then he started caressing it and he didn’t even realize his eyes closed at the feeling. 

The other started laughing quietly, rubbing Felix’s back soothingly, thinking about how different this felt than the last time that they were together, fucking, but not feeling each other due to Felix’s bad intentions to make Chan feel like shit.   
This time he didn’t do that. He was playful even, he was back to being gentle as well and Chan wondered if that would scare him away if he voiced it out.   
So he didn’t do it. 

“How are you gonna go back home now? Should I give you a ride?” Chan asked and started rubbing his head against Felix’s hand, showing him that he was enjoying it as well. 

“Can we go later?” Felix asked without stopping his movements. “It’s such a mess at home I don’t want to be there right now…”

“Why, what's wrong?” Chan knew that he shouldn’t ask personal questions because they had nothing going on between them apart from having sex together, but the man that he killed earlier triggered him with his fucking explanation about Felix and he felt like he needed to know.

“Three days ago someone started shooting at me during a deal. We couldn’t find who it was, but it wasn’t the buyer.” Felix started and laid his head on Chan’s shoulder. “My dad didn’t want to let me come here, but some of his people suggested him to call you, and here we are.”

“It was reckless to send you here…” Chan replied with a frown, getting more agitated by hearing this. So that was why Felix’s father asked for him? So he could keep Felix alive more than to help him out with a simple deal like that. He figured that the Lee boss was just scared, but didn’t want the underground to think that they were cowards. And Chan was very sure that the message that the corpse that he send to the enemy, was either way going to make them angrier, or finally silence them. “I have some fame in the underground. The guy who I shot today was someone who said that he was aiming for you. He mentioned something about him, not being the only one after you. You should take care of yourself now. Walk with your guards… don’t go to shitty places.”

“How can I see you if I don’t go to shitty places?” Felix giggled. “You know, there are people coming at me for a very long time, so we think they’re the same people every time.” Felix moved away to look at Chan and check if he was making him concerned by the things he was telling him. “You shouldn’t worry about me, my guards are as willing to die for me as you are.” He laughed at that and hoped it will win him a positive reaction from Chan. “But if someone starts shooting at us right now, you jumping in front of me!”

“Who’s gonna fuck you so good if I die?” Chan replied with a smile and enjoyed the bright mood that Felix had, even when he was talking about shit like killing and dying. 

“I’m gonna have to find another chackhead, I guess.” Felix shrugged and at that moment something about the way they were looking at each other made his smile drop. What was this weird feeling in his gut? “Yeah, so…” He tried to change the topic to something less intimate, although he was literally sitting on Chan’s flaccid dick. “How about you doing stuff for my dad on the regular?”

“Stuff like what? It will probably reduce my sleeping to one hour a day because if my people can’t stop fucking up business deals or invite intruders, I won’t stop killing idiots. Are you trying to win yourself an easy fuck right now?” Chan figured that Felix was up to something, and to be honest he preferred to fuck him instead of sleeping. So he could agree to add another task to his busy schedule in order to have this boy riding him again. “Or you changed your mind and you actually wanna fuck me now?”

“I was already down to do it the previous time, but then you told me who you are. And that makes things complicated. However, according to the rumors, I can die any day now, so I decided not to think about my father’s and my family’s dignity and do whatever the hell I want.” Felix pulled Chan in for a peck to persuade him. And then he added. “Plus, it’s my dad who gave you to me on a platter today.”

“Probably because of my fame, like I said.” Chan was not immortal, though. Many times he faced bullets, got cut, one-time burnt, he had a phobia of fire, he was scared of water because of a trauma in his past, but if he was on his feet, holding his two guns, he was okay to kill everyone. The Lee boss was probably not doubting his skills if he made him walk around Felix just to keep him safe. “Let's not talk about dying, okay?” He said, but his fingers absently moved over the scar that Felix had on his thigh and he felt it on his fingertips, reminding himself of how much he hated seeing it there. “This scar that you have… it's probably a bad memory?”

“It used to be. There are things far worse than scars, you know?” Felix didn’t look at the scar, he knew very well how it looked and he wasn’t traumatized by it. Maybe other people would have been, but he believed that after losing his mom nothing can hurt him anymore. “I killed the guys who did it to me. With the same knife, they used to stab me in the leg.” He said calmly and waited for Chan’s response because he seemed to care a lot when Felix started talking about his well-being.

And the other felt proud of Felix. It was that sick way of being proud that someone killed someone because whoever did this to Felix deserved to die anyway. And the thought of how strong that boy was made him look up at his face and admire him more. Felix was so open right now, speaking of things that he had never shared, and it made Chan wonder if it would be different again when they part their ways and meet again after God knows what time. 

“You did well. Were they torturing you?” Chan asked and caressed the scar, hating every bit of it. 

“They stabbed me in the leg Chan..” Felix reminded as if he was talking to a child. “You know when you’re a child they’re not bad to you, but when you grow up a bit they start doing sick shit to you. They got this on tape to send it to my dad, but when I killed them they couldn’t do that.” Felix laughed. “Don’t worry about it..”

“You know, you are stronger than me in a way.” Chan confessed to him and his eyes screwed when he felt angry again, this time at people who weren’t alive anymore. He would gladly go and piss on their graves if he knew their names, but they weren’t important. The important one was Felix and he was okay now, breathing, satisfied, safe. “Because my brain and body kind of paralyzes when I get tied up and tortured. I can’t handle it. The first time that it happened to me made me shake like a bitch. I couldn’t speak, I didn’t wanna eat. I was getting myself drugged badly, looking at that burnt arm like I was seeing a demon. I had to get rid of it, so it's great that my best friend decided to ink every single piece of it until I can’t see it anymore. It's like that for all of my scars. Like you can see I have many.”

“I’m not strong, I’m numb. And it’s great that you aren’t. You’re also very hot, you know. I don’t know about your scars, but you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” Felix pulled Chan into a hug, because he was opening up about such dark shit, he supposed that’s what a normal person would do. “That’s why If you come working for me I can protect you as well. It’s not about sex, Chan. It’s about us having each other’s backs, right?”

“I don’t mind working for you. But I still won’t be with you most of the time.” Chan replied as he had no idea what kind of agreement that was, but they were so calmly discussing it that it started to make him wonder what changed during that month? Did Felix just have enough time to realize that he wanted to see him? What was really going on? “And I can take you to my friend. He will cover up your scar with something beautiful. I don’t like seeing it when I go down on you to give you head…”

“No, Chan. You have to walk behind my ass all day. That’s the deal. My dad tells your dad, and he gives money to your dad for that.” Felix insisted. “And why would I get a tattoo for you, if we’re not fucking? I’ll only agree to that if you agree on my conditions.”

Chan got confused. Felix wanted what? “Wait, what? You wanna have me as a personal slut or something?” He asked him and his eyes glared up at Felix. “You were the one turning me down because of our dads and now you suddenly want me to walk after your ass all day and have sex?” He asked him exactly how he understood the information and smirked. “Felix, you were pretty cold… did your last words backfire? Admit it, you missed me.”

“Listen, we don’t have to fuck at all. You’re the one who begs for it. I’m seriously asking you to join my men, cuz I’ve seen your abilities, and I feel like my dad would make better use of it.” Felix didn’t like the way Chan was turning their business conversation into a personal one. “It’s a job that would save you a lot of trouble, and I could fuck you on the side if you’re that desperate for it.” Felix finally smirked.

“Okay then. Until I find who’s the one who is trying to kill you.” Chan set up the deal like that and looked seriously at him. “I will leave my duties for you. And I will kill this coward who’s trying to get you.” 

“Okay then.” Felix said and smiled. “Are we gonna seal the deal?” He said playfully and leaned closer to Chan’s face until their noses bumped.

“Yes.” Chan replied shortly and caught his lips in a lazy kiss, knowing that he wouldn’t feel completely serious until he heard a call over the phone from Junsu, who would tell him to back off from the quarter for now and just focus on Felix, order from the Lee boss. Just then Chan promised to drive to Felix’s fancy apartment and fuck him over every counter, every edge of it. “I’m gonna wait for a call then, i guess.”

“Okay. Let’s go now, I have to tell my dad you agreed.” Felix smiled and got off Chan’s lap to wear his pants.

And Chan suddenly got more energized, even though he had to be dead by now. He would take some nap or whatever this night, while waiting for Junsu to call with news that was going to finally make him feel better.   
He pulled off the condom and got his pants and boxers back up, wearing a pleased smile on his face when he changed positions and went on the driver’s seat. 

“Let's go to see daddy, then.”

***

Felix was fast to say bye to Chan when he actually told him the actual address of his family house. Chan wanted to make out, but Felix preferred to get things done first. It was around 11 pm, which meant his father would be in his office, going over some plans. 

Felix pushed the big door at the front of the house and passed by the house dogs that were barking at him. He hated those dogs, he never found why they hated him so much. The maids in his dad’s mansion greeted him on the way to his father’s office, and he politely nodded at them. 

“Dad!” He called before opening the door, he never knocked, so that way his father would know someone would intrude his privacy.

“Oh, Youngbok, you’re back!” His father picked up his gaze from the papers he was looking at. “I heard it went well and no one attacked you today.”

“Yeah.” Felix replied shortly and went to take a seat on the chair in front of his father’s desk. “I also solved the problem… you know about me not being able to go meet your clients..” Felix started biting his lip, a habit he had since he was a child and had to face his father. He wasn’t scared of him, he just didn’t feel good about having to talk to him. He seemed like he got over Mrs. Lee’s death way too fast, while Felix had to struggle with this his whole life. “Bang’s son agreed.” 

“That’s good news. I was just going through some list of people who might have to go in your place, and if I have to be honest, I don’t think I can trust them with this.” His father dropped the stack of sheets he was holding on the desk and looked at his son. “You look so much like her..”

“Yeah, okay. Make the call, and I’ll go get to my other assignments.” Felix cut the conversation short when his father brought up his mother. Felix hated this. His father would look him in the eye and start talking to him about his mom like he didn’t know how much pain caused that to his child. “Goodnight.” He said and didn’t even wait for a reply before he escaped his father’s office.

His plan for getting Chan seemed successful. In order to do that he had to deceive everyone. The only reason why he did it was because Chan’s family was sending him out to kill people every day, or beat them up. And what Felix recently found out was that Chan had become a heavy drug addict, probably because he needed to keep his body awake for more hours than it was healthy. He couldn’t blame Chan. His sister was treated like a princess in their family and Chan was like some dog to them. He knew, everybody in their field knew. So Felix wanted to remove Chan from that environment. Especially after tonight when he said all these things. Felix had this weird feeling in his gut every time he thought of Chan’s face when he was talking about his trauma. Why would a father do this to his child, why would he keep sending him back to places where bad things could happen to him? 

Felix wasn’t sure why he started caring about Chan’s condition all of a sudden, but every time he begs him with those desperate eyes, even when he knows Felix won’t offer anything, Chan is eating up whatever he can get, and Felix’s heart would have broken up, if he had one. He wanted to protect Chan, but he also wanted to keep him away, so he wasn’t sure if allowing Chan to be this close was very wise. But he preferred to suffer the consequences than let Chan fuck himself up even more. And that only confused him.

***

Chan woke up by the loud sound of his phone, ringing so close to his head that it freaked him out enough to make him grab his gun and point it at random direction as if someone just threatened him. His heart was racing and he put aside the loaded gun, picking up his phone.   
It was Junsu’s name written on his display, so Chan relaxed, turning himself over so he could lay on his back.   
He was a bit disoriented. How many hours had passed since he dropped dead on his bed? What was the time? Was it morning? He had no idea because his freaking room was dark like a cave and the curtains were too thick to let sun lights in the room. That was because of his messed up sleeping time, he needed it dark in order to fall asleep during the day and live during the night. 

“Hey..” He mumbled with a tired voice, keeping his eyes closed again because his eyelids felt heavy.   
“Wake up, kid. I’m trying to contact you for three hours.” Junsu sounded weirdly worried. “I got worried, you know? You know the agreement to never ignore my calls because I need to know that you are okay, right?”

Junsu was probably a better dad than his own. So Chan smiled and nodded his head even if he couldn’t see him. “I know… I just didn’t hear it. What's the time?”  
“Its 10 am. And you have a certain task right now.”  
Chan opened his eyes and lazily sat up. “I do?”  
“Yes. I don’t know what the fuck you are doing, but the Lee’s paid your dad to be constantly around the boy.” Junsu started explaining, but Chan was slow.  
“What boy?”  
“Felix.”  
“What about him?”  
“Chris, can you fucking wake up and listen to me?” Now Junsu was kind of yelling, so Chan knew the perfect way to wake up. He stood up from his bed and reached his wardrobe, taking out some black clothes before he moved to the living room and stared at the table with spread drugs there, questioning himself for a moment. Since when he needed so much stock to live? It wasn’t like that a year ago. He was sticking to weed and just sometimes some refreshing powder, but recently, he was getting out of hand, not even knowing what he was given. 

It was disturbing to think about it, but it didn’t stop him from drawing a perfect white line and then roll up a dollar bill. 

“I’m waking up, right now.” He said and leaned towards the table, holding the paper with one hand, the phone with the other and he sniffed that shit too hard, feeling its nasty content way too hard for a good morning meal. 

“Are you taking fucking drugs again? Listen, take a hold of yourself. You’re becoming a fucking addict.” Junsu started lecturing him, but Chan was having a moment right now, feeling both dizzy and energized in the same time. 

“Yeah, yah. Nothing’s wrong with me. I’m in perfect shape. So continue with Felix?” He said and put his phone on loudspeaker while he was dressing on his vest and jeans. 

“You gotta respond to his calls. He had his guards for most of the time, so whenever he feels like he needs you, you gotta be there” Junsu said. “I will give you the number and…”  
“You said its 10 am right?” Chan asked and stood up, moving to the mirror so he could fix his messy hair. “I know where to find him. Don’t send me any details. What about the quarter and the bill fees?”  
“I’m gonna handle it. Focus over the Lee boy, for now, kid. And cut down the drugs.” Junsu replied and sighed. “Go now, I have your shit to deal with.”  
“Good luck.” Chan replied and the call ended while he was finishing with styling his hair, but it felt impossible since he went to sleep while it was damp wet the previous night and he never woke up. 

A few minutes later he was driving his car towards the cafe where Felix loved to go read his weird books and he knew that the boy would be still there if he hurried up, which meant to race everyone on the road and probably get in trouble, but he was in a good mood that morning because of a certain someone and he arrived in a matter of 20 minutes, getting out of the car while putting his sunglasses on. 

Chan pushed the doors of the cafe open and looked around, searching for Felix and he found him there, sitting next to the big windows, looking pretty, as usual, reading his book in peace. The sight of that made Chan smile while he was waiting for his two cups of coffee, impatiently tapping the plot with his fingers. The sweet lady handed the cups to him with a slight frown, but Chan was aware of his gangster appearance, that looked nothing like what Felix was wearing - a freaking suit again, but the top of it was taken off, so he had a white shirt on, the sleeves of which were pulled up to his elbows.   
Chan looked down on his own exposed inked arms, his ripped jeans and worn out vest and it made him laugh while he was putting the coffees down on the table, sitting on the chair opposite of Felix’s. 

“Good morning, sweety.” He startled the other and smirked.

Felix picked up his eyes from his book and smirked at Chan. “So you stalked me here? Cuz I told them that you should give me a call and I’ll tell you where to meet.”

He shrugged. “I know where you go and what time you go there. I have a person for that.” Chan pulled down his glasses and rubbed his eyes, before looking at Felix curiously. “So apart of wasting your morning here and going to fucking malls, what do you do all day?”

Felix frowned when he saw Chan looking smashed so early in the morning “Are you high?” He asked without carrying to reply to his previous question. “You can’t come to work high, Chan.” He closed his book and put it on the table. Chan already had his attention so he didn’t intend to go back to his book.  
“You don’t know me in a different condition.” Chan reminded him, because each time that he was seeing Felix, he was high as fuck. So he didn’t know where the problem is.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Felix folded his arms on his chest and waited for Chan to start being serious about the situation. “You can’t stand me if you’re not high?”

“No, I was like that before I met you.” Chan replied and tilted his head, studying that sweet pout with interest because he had no idea what made Felix so worried over his health when he was okay with it months ago. “Come on, its nothing. I can reduce it if you don’t trust my killing skills. I’m actually pretty the same when I’m not high. I just doze off.”

“I want you to stop it. I myself don’t even drink cuz I’ve been kidnapped so many times I need to be alert all the time. Imagine if my guard is smashed next to me.” Felix whispered, so the nice ahjumma won’t be able to hear their conversation, although she probably couldn’t hear it anyway. “I was gonna ask you to take me to your guy who did your ink… but I’m mad right now.”  
“Are you developing feelings for me?” Chan asked curiously. “Listen, sweety. Let me take you to my guy. You can’t take away everything from me in one day. My freedom, my job, my dick, my drugs. One at a time. And also… I’m not your guard. Just your personal dog when you have deals to make or you feel insecure in outdoor places like this one. It's such a criminal coffee shop. Sorry, but I just forgot my gun in the car.” He said mockingly and started laughing, reaching out to mess up Felix’s perfect hair.

Felix slapped Chan’s hand away and frowned at him. Again. “You think this is funny. You don’t even think for a second that one day you might actually die by snorting all that shit. What happened to I don’t do powders?” Felix kept insisting on the same topic. “I don’t care if you want to be treated like a dog, I don’t see you as one, so get yourself together.”

Chan raised an eyebrow, but looked down like a grounded kid, giving Felix a piece of his bad attitude. “Well like I said I was freaking out for a fucking month, lack of sleep, lack of sex, I was getting aggressive, so I started doing powders. Fine, I’m gonna stop doing it. You can come to my place and blow all the powder in the air. But you can’t touch my weed.” He said and looked up carefully at the other.

“You better keep your word.” Felix said and got off his chair. He started collecting his belongings, but when he noticed that Chan was still sitting he looked at him with a rose eyebrow. “Let’s meet your friend?” He said, nudging Chan out of his seat.

“So bossy.” Chan picked up his untouched coffees and walked out of the coffee shop with Felix, leading him to his car as he shoved the two cups in his hands after they were both in the car and opened the spot in his car where he kept his guns, picking up one just in case, because Changbin worked in the shittiest quarter of the territory and Felix looked way too fancy to be there. “Do you have anything else in your closet? These suits are too fancy for where I’m gonna take you.”

“I do, I just don’t wear them outside.” Felix shrugged. “Hyunjin always buys weird clothes for me that I never wear. Why?” 

“Just asking. I wanna see you in a baggy vest or something. Actually, take off your shirt.” Chan said and parked his car like a freak in the middle of the road, getting few cars beeping at him as they passed by his dark windowed lamborghini. “I’m gonna give you mine.” And he was very serious when he pulled his vest over his head and handed it to Felix.

“And what are you gonna wear, dumbass?” Felix said without any trace of emotion on his face. At this point, nothing Chan does could surprise him. He was holding Chan’s vest and was staring at him expectantly.

“Well I’m fine with nothing. Or fill up your shirt and look sexy.” He replied mockingly and stared at Felix with expectation. “Come on, its kind of a turn on to think about this.”

“You’re not leaving this car naked.” Felix said but started unbuttoning his white shirt. “If it doesn’t fit, I don’t care but you gotta wear something.”

Chan looked more excited than he should be, but it was always a pleasure to watch Felix undress. And he kind of got too slow, so Chan reached out to strip him from his own shirt, leaving a quick peck on his lips before the other could protest and let him dress the vest on while he was putting that white shirt, that surprisingly fit on his arms and shoulders.   
He had no idea when was the last time that he wore something like that, but it was funny to watch how Felix was putting on his baggy vest.   
And damn, he looked so pretty in it. 

“Now you’re ready for this quarter.” Chan said and winked at him, going back to driving...

“We literally swapped our clothes. I don’t understand how that makes any difference. Felix state with a sigh and took a look at his current outfit. Expensive pants and a worn-out vest that smelt like shit. “When was the last time you washed this?” 

“Are you calling me dirty now?” Chan asked without looking at him but tried to really remember. The last time that he wore that was a few days ago when he and Changbin got high as fuck in his apartment, which was probably why it smelled like shit. Chan smirked. “Its been a while. Stop whining, I don’t want us to get attention.” He explained and passed his favorite gun to Felix without looking at him and turned on left, staring at the signs that he was passing by so he could find the right direction to Changbin’s art shop.

Felix took the gun and smiled at when he saw that it was one of the special collections. “I remember when they made those… I was still a child.” 

“I have them since I was 12. How old are you?” Chan asked him and tried to remember if he had read that information when he was at Woojin’s cave. “20, right?”

“Yes.” Felix looked at Chan and smiled fondly. “I guess you know everything about me. You seem to have done a really through research.” He decided the only place he can put the gun is in the back of his pants, since he wasn’t carrying weapons with him most of the time, he wasn’t prepared for that.

“Literally typed your name and all your basic information showed up.” Chan explained and drove faster when he was in the territory that was familiar to him, finally feeling relaxed to be back home. He picked the second gun and put it on his lap, just in case. “You don’t pay cash, so you are very easy to be stalked. And you fuck with strangers, which is even worse. Those two who fucked you better than me, could be killers. As I said, you are fucking reckless.” 

Felix smiled when Chan mentioned his imaginary hookup. He wasn’t planning on telling him the truth but he felt that at least one person in his life should be sincere with him. Not wanting to involve with him emotionally and being dishonest were two different things, so Felix decided to take that burden from Chan. “I lied.” He said, looking out the window. “I’ve never slept with other people…”

Chan’s high condition couldn’t really catch that as fast as he should and he frowned. “What do you mean? You were a virgin? Really?” He even looked at Felix, looking shocked.

“...after I met you, shithead. Of course, I’m not a virgin, I just haven’t slept with anyone for a while, and then you showed up…” Felix became all red when Chan asked him if he was a virgin. He hadn’t felt embarrassed in a long time, so he couldn’t put his words together for a while.

“Was I that great?” Chan teased him, but it was weird how they were meeting every now and them, fuck up each other and then separated until the next time when they meet to repeat the whole thing. He stopped the car in front of the art shop and looked aside at Felix, studying his blushing face. And the fact that he was blushing made him feel curious. “Are you shy? Can you even be shy?”

“Shut up!” Felix murmured and pouted. “Don’t make fun of me, you are the one who assumed weird shit about me.” Felix tried to avoid Chan’s eyes but something about the whole situation made him feel like they’re dating and that thought made him even redder. Maybe it was a terrible idea to let Chan be so close to him because Felix was getting all these weird hot waves just by looking at Chan’s grinning face.

“Sweet. “ Chan smiled for last time before picking up his gun and got out of the car, pulling off the badass image that he always did when he was walking in that area. And when Felix followed, Chan leads him closer to the art shop, giving a nod to the gorilla who was guarding outside and the guy moved aside so they could get in. 

And Chan wondered if Felix was gonna like this place, because he loved it, but it was too dark, weird pictures hung everywhere and Changbin had a weird habit to keep his weed plants with himself everywhere, so that could be seen as well, which gave the whole shop a pleasant smile of weed.   
“I’m gonna get high just by breathing the air.” Felix whispered to Chan. “Now I know why you like it here.” The place wasn’t as terrible as Felix expected, but he hated the smell of weed. He wasn’t surprised Chan was friends with people like that, that was also the same guy who gave him that thing Chan snorted when they fucked after his fight. Felix already didn’t feel fond of the guy, but he was good at his work, so knew he wouldn’t regret his tattoo.

“Chris!” They heard a voice from aside and the tattoo artist showed up a moment after, looking kind of scandalized when he checked out Chan’s tight shirt that wasn’t even buttoned and the gun in his hand, then he noticed Felix and his eyes stood on him. “Oh, you’re Hyunjin’s friend.” He recognized Felix quickly.

“Yes, unfortunately.” Felix shrugged. “And you're Chan’s friend.” He stared dumbly and finally came to the revelation of why he didn't interact with people. Why he avoided building relationships with them. Because they all wanted his attention for different reasons all of which included their own benefit. For example, this guy was Chan’s friend, but he was giving him drugs. Can you call that a good friend? It was the same with Hyunjin, he was the reason why they were getting in trouble when they go out, so he wasn't very keen on meeting Chan’s friends. Because to him, this guy had a hidden agenda. Or he was just paranoid. “Nice place.” He said, keeping his emotionless expression.

“It will get better when fuckers stop coming to ruin it constantly.” Changbin said and looked at the two of them curiously. “Why are you here? I mean, it's obvious why…”  
“Felix wants a tattoo. Something cool to cover up a scar that I dislike.” Chan started explaining and his friend gave him a weird look.   
“A scar that you don’t like.” He repeated and his dark eyes moved on Felix. “Anything specific?”  
“Maybe a lion… or a tiger…” Felix frowned, thinking about a cool design. “Something majestic that depicts power. That kind of thing.”  
“Where is the scar?” Changbin asked casually and moved to the spot where he was working, preparing a stencil that he was going to use for Felix’s drawing. As he sat down he observed Felix, while Chan was looking around at the weird paintings, getting freaked out at them like every single time.   
“It's on my thigh.” Felix said and pointed at the place a bit higher from the middle of his thigh. After his growth spurt the scar moved up a bit, from its original position.  
“Take your pants off then and you can lay down here. I wanna try something cool, but that will take a large place on your… thigh” Changbin spoke professionally and his eyes stared all over Felix, which caught Chan’s attention and he stopped looking around like a fool, pushing Felix towards the chair so he could sit down and get comfortable.   
Chan was very fond of Changbin. He wasn’t really getting angry at him for asking Felix to strip, he just knew how much it hurt when the ink was getting over a scar and especially on the legs. So he knew how much Felix was going to whine, both of them knew, but none of them shared with the curious boy. 

Changbin was done with the sketch and he waited for Felix to pull down his pants before moving close to him, placing the see-through paper over the wide-area that the tattoo was going to take. 

“Do you like it?” Changbin asked and smiled at Felix. The tattoo was starting from the higher spot of Felix’s thigh, finishing with lines towards the side of his kneecap. 

Felix nodded looking at the design. It was prettier than what he expected and Changbin was smiling at him as if he was a good person. “I like it.” He finally voiced his opinion, but it turned out a lot more disinterested than what he expected. “What do you think Chan?” He looked at the other blond.

He smiled, examining the art and the simple sketch that Changbin did look very detailed for something that he draws for a few minutes, so he was sure that in the end, this would look perfect. Even though that he didn’t have to do this, Chan leaned and kissed Felix’s forehead before ha sat down on a chair next to him on his other side, looking more excited than the other two. 

“This is perfect.” Chan said and swing the gun in his hand, remembering that Felix was wearing one as well, so he slid a hand on the other’s back and pulled it from under his vest.   
Changbin looked boredly at him, shaking his head.  
“You walk around with loaded guns, can you take this shit away from here just in case?” He said and turned around to get the ink ready, turning back with it, and started setting up the machine.   
“This hurts. Just to let you know.” Chan mumbled and started kissing Felix’s bare shoulder, keeping back his laughter.

“Aren't you underestimating me now?” Felix scowled. “ I know it hurts, but I doubt it hurts more than when I got the scar. I should be fine.” He said confidently, but seconds after that he grabbed Chan’s hand without saying a word, hoping the other wouldn't make a big deal out of it. 

And he didn’t. Instead of that Chan brought Felix’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of it, getting him distracted while Changbin was set up already, throwing them suspicious looks while he was outlining the tattoo, turning on the machine.   
“So are you two a thing now?” He asked, since he hadn’t heard anything from Chan recently and his friend loved to be mysterious about his affairs anyway, so he asked Felix, while starting the tattoo.   
“Do you keep Chan’s secrets?” Felix asked instead of giving an actual reply. They had to be careful about their sex arrangement because many people would be able to take advantage of it if they found out. 

Chan kept kissing his hand like a freak, while Changbin figured that his friend just wanted to let Felix speak. So he smiled. “Of course. I’m his best friend, this is all I do. I know all of his fucked-up stories with you.”  
“You might not get in details, brother.” Chan warned him because Changbin could open up big mouth about all these days where Chan wasn’t seeing Felix, cursing at him, getting agitated, talking shit when he was high… yes, it was better for him to keep his mouth shut.

Felix glared at Chan wondering what kind of details they're keeping from him, but by the way, he was possessively holding his hand and diligently kissing it he decided he preferred not to know.  
“Yesterday we decided we can fuck when we feel like it.” Was all he said regarding Changbin’s question. “And you should keep this a secret cuz if my father finds out…”  
“I’m aware, even though I was never related to the underground,” Changbin replied and kept his work, starting to outline the tattoo, sliding in the black ink under Felix’s skin and focused over it while the other two were looking at what he was doing. 

Changbin started from a spot that didn't really hurt. All Felix could feel was a slight scratching. The whole thing took about 3 hours since Changbin was quick in his work. Chan was holding his hand the whole time, and there were moments when Felix squeezed it harder when Changbin put the needle over his scar to insert the ink there. All in all, it wasn’t too bad and Felix didn’t whine like a bitch, contrary to Chan’s expectations. The tattoo looked really good, which made Felix smile in delight. Changbin wrapped his leg and explained to him how to take care of it while it’s healing. They settled the payment, and when they were done with everything, Chan had Felix’s hand in his and was leading him back to his car. Due to the slight pain in his leg, and because the fabric of his pants was rubbing the fresh tattoo, Felix was limping a bit, but Chan was good support. 

Felix asked Chan to bring him to one of his apartments. The one where he took him, when they fucked the first time. He didn’t plan on telling Chan that he didn’t actually live there, because that would mean he’s pushing his walls down for Chan, but Chan was noone to him, in any other sense besides sex. Even when he was kissing his hand while Changbin was tattooing his leg, Felix knew he should put some boundaries for Chan, because every time Felix let Chan do something tiny, something a bit overboard, his brain would start worrying where their relationship was going. In order to check his ‘feelings’ for Chan he would ask himself if he’d be okay if Chan died, and yes, he would be okay. Because Chan was literally following him like a dog, obeying every single order. Chan’s behavior only made Felix feel bad for using him the exact same way his father did. The fact that he was feeling bad about it already meant a lot so Felix made a decision to put everything back into place. 

Chan brought him to the apartment and after he asked if Felix had some other arranged meeting for the day and heard that he didn’t, he pulled Felix in his hands and carried him to his bedroom, dropping him down eagerly. He hovered over, pulling Felix’s pants off in order to keep the tattoo safe and deprive Felix of feeling uncomfortable like he said, but he didn’t stop there.   
Chan’s lips were moving too fast, his hands pushed that baggy vest up and he got Felix straddled, leaving a wet trail from the line of his abs, going low, he left a kiss on Felix’s navel and moved down, mouthing his clothed dick as well before his lips went aside to the inner part of Felix’s thigh that wasn’t inked.   
He was worshipping Felix and his perfect milky skin. And he detected silence, which meant that Felix was either tired after all that sitting or he was bothered by something again. 

But Chan wasn’t used to his silence, just like he wasn’t used to staying in a room with someone and just pull a random conversation with him, because he found that as intimate.   
What were they meant to do? How were they meant to spend their time together?   
Did Chan have to leave now, when Felix said that he is busy for the night or he had to stay and kiss every part of his body like he was doing now?   
He felt his own frown when this felt too intimate suddenly. The way that his lips were gently kissing every exposed skin, the way that his hands were trembling while trying not to be too urgent to touch Felix. 

Chan started to figure out Felix, or at least he wanted to believe in that. Because Felix was weird. Sometimes he wanted Chan, other times he was putting a barrier for him, waiting behind it with a loaded gun. Sometimes he wanted to keep Chan close, and then he was kicking him away from himself for month or weeks, until his body didn’t need his dick.   
And that was toying with Chan’s emotions because he wasn’t stupid to figure out that he started to grow feelings. 

Chan wasn’t having sex, he wasn’t visiting Jisung’s club for a nice fuck, he wasn’t going on events that would give him a chance to get his dick sucked.   
He was just simply waiting for this boy here, and his whole body was shaking with satisfaction whenever he had him. 

“You are so sexy, Felix.” He used the name, because he didn’t want to step on Felix’s delicate nerves right now. And he was back to kissing Felix’s belly, taking his tongue out to taste his abs. 

“We did it yesterday, are you’re that whipped you can’t even hold it for another day?” Felix asked, but it didn’t seem as if he was trying to push away Chan as per usual. He was just being playful. And as usual, all of his moves were carefully calculated. He was pulling Chan in until it was enough for the other to feel hurt when Felix pushes him away.

“Well you kept your dog hungry for a month… don’t act like you don’t want this.” Chan replied and looked up at him, screwing his eyes at that unreadable expression that was all over Felix’s pretty face. “You jumped on my dick pretty fast, you will do it now too.”

“And how do you know what I want?” Felix kept staring at Chan, with his empty gaze as if he wasn’t having an actual conversation with a human being. “I said I want you to work for me, but today you crossed many lines… especially in front of your friend. You’re lucky I didn’t want to embarrass you, so I let you do whatever you want.” 

“You were the one who put that brand on us.” Chan reminded him, because he was dead quiet there. And he had no idea why, but his heart was picking up pace now because he felt like something was wrong again. It triggered anger in him and he sat up, still having Felix straddled, and his look darkened when he had that weird feeling that things were going south again. Just like every time when Felix was being nice with him. This time they wouldn’t be parted for a month, he figured. Because Chan was really hired by Felix’s dad. “What's wrong with you? Do I have to beg you every time when I need you?”

Felix immediately felt that in a way he wasn’t supposed to. Why was Chan so willing to crawl for him, step on his own dignity and do whatever Felix wanted. Why was he humiliating himself for Felix. Felix didn’t feel like he deserves that, because he wasn’t feeling Chan the same way Chan was feeling him and maybe he should stop give him hopes. 

“What was I supposed to tell him then? That you’re walking after my ass and do whatever I want you to? How you beg like some kicked out dog?” Felix frowned at Chan who looked so lost and vulnerable that Felix almost felt bad for making him go through this. “I said what I said because I want your friends to see you as my equal, not what your father sees in you.”

Chan smiled angrily. Felix was getting complicated again and he was slowly preparing himself for another outburst. But he wasn’t going to stay quiet this time.   
“So you are back to ‘I can’t have sex with you because my daddy might understand’, I guess?” He said and ran a hand through his hair, trying to maintain his feelings. “So you waited for me to get hard, and you start acting like a fucking psycho again. I should really start fucking someone whose opinion doesn’t change so quickly.”  
“Like you can do that.” Felix snorted. “I own your fucking ass. I see it in your eyes every time you start begging. You are my bitch Chan, and you know it.” Felix said all of a sudden feeling agitated at the chance of Chan going out to pick up people. “You’d think of me every second of it and you know it.” He pulled Chan’s face with both hands closer to his and stared at his lips before whispering. “Look me in the eyes and tell me it’s not true.”

Chan released a sigh and his eyes closed. He knew that he was angry, his hands were pressed on the bed on Felix’s sides and he was so close to him now that it was insane how his body wanted him, but his mind was protesting to give in.   
Not like this, not so lame…. He knew that Felix was doing this on purpose, but he had no idea what the purpose is. 

“I haven’t tried… so why not telling you after I fuck someone.” He replied and pulled back from Felix’s distracting warm hands, shaking his head slowly. “You … you fucking don’t know what you want. I was clear, right? I was chasing you down, I was fucking you so good, and if you wanna put lines, fine. Do it. Just don’t cross them whenever you feel like you wanna play this fucking game.” He said and pushed himself away from Felix, standing up from the bed and got completely agitated, acting like a fool again. Chan took off the shirt that belonged to Felix and threw it at him, releasing another angry laughter. “I don’t know how to act around you. I guess not talking to you at all will suit the situation.”

“Yeah, sure.” Felix slid down on his bed and put his hands under his head, in an attempt to keep his eyes away from Chan. “Don’t forget to snort your lines when you pretend you’re not thinking of me.” It was weird coming out of his mouth, but was it weird that he preferred Chan dead than going around fucking? “I don’t care about you, Chan, I’m sorry you got it all wrong… I was trying to help you…”

Chan felt how the fire started in him and he turned around for a moment, trying to hold back his outburst. But he figured that he didn’t have to do that, because this was what Felix wanted. And he turned around at him, staring at his pretty legs, his exposed abs, his flawless face, and it was all making him even angrier now. 

“Great. If I wasn’t going to get shot in the head, I would let you die somewhere, but you know I value my life. So let's keep this on business only. You can start treating me like you treat your fucking guards.” Chan snapped at him and started walking away, picking up his guns from the small shelf where he left them, guiding himself out of that freaking apartment. 

Felix chuckled quietly when he heard Chan’s words. He knew he was saying all of this because he was mad, so he didn’t take it too hard, but it was Felix and he had to strike a final blow, so he picked up his phone from the pocket of his pants that laid near him. And sent a message to Chan, just to remind him he’s still the one in control. “You’d rather die for me than let something happen to me. ;)” 

And he got the reply fast, as Chan was probably not even in his car when he texted him. 

From Bang Chan:  
Yes, that's my only duty for you.

Of course, Felix didn’t reply to that because he had to leave Chan hanging and wondering what was Felix’s intention with this. He just felt so alive when Chan got mad, that it was disturbing. He could just start acting more distant from now on, but where’s the fun in that?


	5. The Lee devil.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go and this will be finished <3 :D  
> Are you excited?

Another week passed, and it was worse than what Chan expected. 

He never knew that he would be assigned to look over the devil, but there he was, seeing Felix daily, getting to know all of his bad habits, observing him, but yet keeping his distance from him because Felix wanted that. 

The Lee devil was really acting as if Chan was just a part of his crew, he build up a wall and was waving down at him from the top, never missing a chance to remind him that he was just a hired hitman who had recently received a leash and got tied up like a good dog. 

But Chan wasn’t used to this. He wanted to make his own choices, he wanted to be in charge, he wanted to rule on his own and be independent. What he didn’t expect was that he would miss his busy job, because killing people was better than stalking Felix, walk after his ass and even freaking stay in front of the bathroom when the blonde was taking a shower. 

Why was that even happening? Because Felix got attacked again. Three times for the past week, once on a meeting for arranged deal, another time when he was simply walking out of his car, and two days ago, there was intruder on a set up meeting point who started shooting at everyone. What Chan did was simple- he shot him in the head, which caused problems afterwards, since Felix’s dad wished to know who that man was, who hired him, and Chan’s habit to not talk to criminals like that, screwed the plan. 

So they were at a dead end again, knowing nothing about the people who wanted Felix dead, and his guards became more aware of everything, which also meant that Felix had been guarded while he sleep, shower, or just eat in a restaurant. 

What he insisted was another torture for Chan. Because he was okay to guard Felix outside, like their original deal was - to be there on every deal meeting and have his eyes over the spot, but Felix wanted him to be inside of his bathroom as well, probably knowing what that was doing to him. 

Chan was doing his best not to look. The glass walls that surrounded the shower cabin were see through, of course and Felix always had his back at him, since he trusted Chan enough to be vulnerable in front of him like that. 

And Chan was getting weaker. 

He had questions in his head whenever his eyes rolled all over Felix’s back, he had desires when the other was turning around to get his towel and leave the bathroom without talking to him. 

Chan was angry, mostly at himself, because he was stubborn as well, not talking to Felix at all if it wasn’t needed for a certain situation. But he was showing nothing but his loyalty to that bitch and he caught himself staring too much when Felix was being busy with his life. 

What he didn’t expect, was to get sentimental over Felix on a scale that he had never felt with anyone else. Chan wasn’t a soft person, he wasn’t been taught to that and there was nobody to show him feelings like tenderness, love, care. Because Junsu was a tough man, who wanted to make him hard as a brick and Chan could understand his intentions. 

If he had developed weaknesses, he wasn’t going to be alive now. 

And Felix was slowly making his way under his skin, making him feel so much that it was crazy. 

And just like that, in a moment when Chan was angry at himself for thinking about Felix too much, made him crawl back to Changbin and do something crazy. 

He asked his friend to give him the same tattoo that he drew on Felix, which brought questions that he didn’t like to answer. 

Changbing asked him if he was okay, if there was something going on with Felix, if he and Chan had more than what they were exposing. Chan denied all of that, because Felix made up his mind and treated him like he would treat anyone else who tried to protect him. 

Like a fucking guard. 

But Chan wasn’t that, and he didn’t go to Felix for no reason anymore. 

He only responded to the calls, without letting Felix to see any of his confused emotions. 

The tattoo of the same lion was stretched along Chan’s left forearm, because that was one of the spots that wasn’t damaged and he still had uncovered by tattoos, and looking at it was bringing mixed feelings in him. 

Chan wasn’t doing things without having a meaning behind them. So he would never admit that he made Changbin draw the tattoo there, because he wanted Felix to see it. 

He would lie, saying that it was just an addition to his sleeve, a good large tattoo to finish the last uncovered spot on his arms, people knew that he loved doing that, but Felix would know. 

He wasn’t stupid, so he would quickly understand the secret meaning behind that tattoo and probably he was going to give Chan more shit because of it. 

It was a friday night when Chan got deeply disappointed by his own father. 

He got a call by the head of the family and rushed to the house with a frown on his face, because Junsu didn’t give him any details. 

What Chan found out was that someone caught his sister’s assigned assassin and tied him up in the basement. 

They were supposed to get information out of that man. They had to get out a name, something to lead them to the people who wanted to harm the family, but when Chan entered that room and looked at the man, something flipped inside of him. 

His father knew that he couldn’t stand tortures, but Chan was aware of how people were forcing assassins to open their mouths. They started slowly, beating him up until both of his eyes were swollen, then they started cutting pieces out of him, doing everything to break that man’s will and make him talk, and Chan’s body was shaking while he was watching how Junsu was doing all of that without even blinking. 

The man was half dead when Chan’s hands moved down to his hips and he picked his twin guns, holding them steadily in his trembling hands. 

He shot the assassin, shocking Junsu with that action, because he killed another clue, making sure that this person was never going to say anything as he shot him with the first bullet straight in the mouth, making the second hole on the spot between his eyes. Clear shots that got that man out of his misery. 

Junsu looked like he was understanding him, he told him to leave the room and Chan did, because he wasn’t needed there. He was just ordered to watch, because his father knew that this was his only weakness. 

He went to his father minutes after, telling him openly what he did. And the man was disappointed in him again. He told Chan that he was weak, that he had to break that phobia and clear his mind. He told Chan to be cold and heartless. He brainwashed him one more time, but Chan couldn’t get out of that dark place. 

It was a trauma that he didn’t know how to convince people that there was nothing to be fixed. 

He just couldn’t torture, because he knew how it felt like to be tortured. 

After that meeting, he left his father’s mansion and had a short conversation with his sister, who tried to melt the ice with her warm smile and her gentle touch against his cheek. 

But Chan was too overwhelmed by what was happening to him during that week, so he just smiled at her, and left. 

A hot shower and long session of jerking off under the water, finally relaxed him a bit. But he was angry at himself for being so stubborn. For waiting until Felix ask for his dick again and stop all of his sexual interactions with people, because of him.

Chan was just about to head over and watch some show on the Tv like a normal boring person, wearing nothing but his boxers on, when he heard a knock on his door. A frown came to his face and he reached for his gun that was rested on the table, standing up quietly. 

He was never getting visits at his home. And whoever wanted to see him was calling beforehand, since Chan was never at his apartment at night, because of his work in the quarters. Thanks to Felix though, he had time to stay here. 

He wished he didn’t….

Chan moved to the door and loaded the gun, feeling how his heart speed up and he was ready to shoot the person who was standing in front of him, but as he checked who it was through the small hole in the door, he saw Felix. 

His frown deepened and he opened the door angrily, checking out the other. 

Felix wore sunglasses, a black suit and a shirt. But Chan could see the swollen bottom lip, he noticed the dried blood on the edge of his lips and he felt how fire started in his chest. 

No matter how much he wanted to slam the door at Felix’s pretty face, he took a sharp breath in and stepped aside, letting the blonde in and shut the door behind his back, turning around to face Felix. 

He didn’t say anything, didn’t ask anything. But his eyes rolled all over Felix and he could feel how his own body was tensing. Chan’s muscles flexed when he reached out and took Felix’s glasses off, witnessing a very disturbing sight of his swollen eye and the blue spots underneath it. 

“Who did this?” He asked coldly and put his loaded gun on the shelf on his left, squeezing Felix’s glasses with his other hand. “Why didn’t you call me?” The questions started to pour out of Chan and he didn’t even hide his frustration. “Why are you here?”

“It’s nothing you should worry about.” Felix said shortly. He expected that kind of reaction from Chan when he sees him like that, but he didn’t expect the other to be naked and worried. He gave him a look over and smirked. “Do you have anything to eat, or should I eat you up?” Felix asked and reached his hand out to feel Chan’s abs without any shame, as if he wasn’t ignoring him for a whole week, and didn’t make him worked up with his shower performances. 

Felix got beaten up, for the first time in years, and it was not a surprise that he ended up in Chan’s place, because it felt like shelter. Felix didn’t know love and affection like every other human being, so the only time he felt safe was when he was with Chan. He was never gonna admit that, and he believed that he could mask his pathetic attempt of looking for a shelter when his whole body hurt and he was betrayed by his family was by pretending he came for the sex. He couldn’t understand himself and what he wanted when it came to Chan. But he knew that at that moment he came to him to look for comfort. When did he become like that? Going to someone’s place to look for hugs.

Sometimes Felix wished he wasn’t so fucked up. Maybe Chan was right to be disgusted by him and his actions, because he was standing there frozen while Felix moved his small hand down to his pants to feel his dick. 

“I think i asked you a question.” Chan replied and stopped Felix, not giving him a chance to touch further, because he wanted answers. Answers to so many of his questions that his head started spinning, but the most important matter was Felix and his bruises. 

Felix let out a deep and long sigh, before he decided that he should probably tell Chan. He started walking to the living room without looking back at Chan, while he was giving him the explanation he wanted. 

“My dad ordered one of my guards to beat my ass cuz I’m an “ungrateful son of a bitch”, so you shouldn’t worry about that. No one attacked me or anything.” Felix turned back to Chan when he was done with his short story and tried to fold his arms over his chest, but he felt sharp pain in the right side of his rib cage, and couldn’t help the quiet whine he let out. Hopefully that went unnoticed by Chan. “So? Are you gonna do something while I’m here or should I leave?”

The other rolled his eyes, displaying the annoyance that he was feeling by Felix’s attitude. So if he had to close his eyes for all the bullshits that he just said, Chan could flip him down on the couch and give him what he wanted, but he wasn’t stupid. He kept his distance from Felix and copied him, folding his arms in front of his chest. 

“First of all, you don’t talk to me unless its necessary, for a fucking week, Felix.” He reminded him, his right eyebrow rising up. “Then you ask me to fucking watch you naked while you mind your own business and now you come here and you wanna have sex with me again?” His voice raised at the end and he laughed angrily. “No.”

“They want me to get married, Chan.” Felix finally revealed the most important detail of the reason why he was in the state he was. “My dad found some girl for me and he said I’m gonna meet her next week…” He started closing the distance between him and Chan, and when he finally was close enough he asked with the most pathetic voice he could muster “Can you feed me, like I’m really hungry, and I won’t go back home, cuz that place is not my home anymore…”

Chan had no idea how to take that information. Was he serious about it? He tried finding his answers in Felix’s eyes but they were so deep and unreadable that instead of finding the right way, Chan got lost. 

He sighed, giving up for another time as he brought his hands up to Felix’s face and took it gently, not wanting to cause more damage. 

“If this is gonna make you feel better, i disappointed my father as well. They caught another assassin and i shot him in the head because i couldn’t watch how Junsu was chopping his muscles like a butcher. But i had to obey and spend some quality time in that room.” Chan said, reminding Felix about who they were and how dependent they both were, owned by their families, being part of them, living in two different worlds that were just combined in crimes. They couldn’t escape, because running away meant death. And even the fanciest fantasies couldn’t make a person from the underground to believe that there was a happier life. Chan knew that his own path was written. He was sure that he was going to get killed at young age just like every famous gangster, even though his cover in the underground was amazing, he was still a Bang, and if someone wanted to get him out of the way, there probably wouldn’t be a person to save his ass. 

But he could save Felix before that time comes, and he wanted to show him that, even if sometimes words weren’t coming out good from him. 

“That marriage of yours…. Its just a bond between families, it doesn’t mean that you must learn how to love or be vulnerable.” Chan said and caressed Felix’s cheeks, staring deep into his eyes. And he realized that he didn’t like the thought. Felix, with some girl, getting married, having kids. Was that even possible? Was Felix going to accept that girl and give her everything that he wasn’t giving Chan? “You can’t run away from it and you know it.”

“First of all, fuck your father.” Felix whispered and tried to pull Chan for a hug, but his torso hurt so much in different places, that he just gave up on the idea. “And second, I didn’t try to run away from it! I told him I won’t do it and he beat me up, cuz I don’t know pain. That’s what he said. He said I’m a senseless idiot, and then he left the room. I didn’t even try to fight back, cuz I knew that’s what he expected me to do. He wanted me to fight back, but in order to make him suffer I let my stupid guard fuck me up. After that my dad locked me in my room.” Then Felix smiled at the realization. “Oh, I actually ran away from it.”

Chan frowned at his little devilish smile and patted his cheeks to get his attention. “You are an idiot. There, someone needed to tell you this.” He said and released Felix, grabbing his wrist to drag him towards his kitchen corner, which was very untouched, since Chan was rarely even having time to cook. The fast food places were always welcome, if he wanted to be healthy, he was just ordering food from fancy restaurants and did nothing in that kitchen. 

But since Felix doomed him to boredom, he started to experiment. And if someone heard about that, they would probably never believe it. That Chan’s hands could be good at something different than holding weapons or cocks. 

“Take off your shirt and i will feed you.” He said as he pushed Felix to sit down on the tall chair in front of the mini plot that separated his sink and fridge and moved to the other side of it, staring at Felix expectantly. “I wanna see how badly he beat you up.”

“I mean, it doesn’t hurt, I don’t think it’s too bad.” Felix said, but Chan frowned at him so he whined even more annoyed. “Is this necessary?”

“Yes. You are pissing me off all week. Don’t expect me to be nice. I got my dignity back, so you can suck my dick. But you won’t, so…” Chan shrugged and turned around, opening the fridge so he could take out the food that he cooked, and he started to feel a bit too freaked out but this whole scene right now was kind of intimate and he had no idea how to handle it. 

Felix got off the chair and walked over to Chan to force him to look at him. He pushed him on the door of the fridge and looked at him with his empty eyes. “I can’t do this. I’m so tired of this. I thought you will do what you always do… beg at my feet and worship me, but it’s ok, I understand.” He moved away from Chan and smiled bitterly, “I think I should leave.”

Chan’s eyes darkened and he laughed again, still angry. “You’re the one who’s playing with me. You know that i want you, right? You know that i’m very whipped for you and you like to make sure that it stays this way when you give me what i want for a fucking day and then leave me to deal with all these fucking confused emotions on my own, because you just fucking can’t feel anything. I got you, Felix, i’m not stupid.I was okay with fucking you, but you decided to take that away as well. When i fucking beg you, you treat me like shit.”

“Why are you so mad about this, when you know it won’t change? Can’t you enjoy it while it lasts?” Felix deadpanned at Chan, as if it was okay to play with someone like that and expect from them to like it. “I’m gonna get married and we won’t be able to see each other, do you know that? I fucking came here… doesn’t that mean anything to you? Cuz it doesn’t mean anything to me, so please, tell me what am I doing here?”

“If it doesn’t mean anything to you….” Chan took a step closer to Felix and screwed his eyes at him, getting agitated by all that confusing bullshit that the other was telling him in his anger and he wanted to just give Felix a clue that his words didn’t make any sense “Why are you here? Admit it, Felix, you want me. Say it.” He ordered and stared seriously at the other, trapping him against the counter when he put both of his hands on it, keeping Felix in between.

“It’s funny how you think you have any power over me.” Felix laughed at him. “I’m not gonna admit anything, because there is nothing to admit. I just thought I can come here and feel safe for 5 seconds, because you were the only person I could think of that has never hurt me. But I guess your intentions changed.” Felix cupped Chan’s face and caressed it gently. “You really gave up on me, huh?”

Chan closed his eyes and just started thinking about how great it would be to be able to give up so fast. Was Felix feeling desperate to hear it? To make him act pathetic just because he needed that so he could feel better? Chan had no idea what was wrong with him, but his hands moved and he put them on both of Felix’s sides, noticing immediately how that impact made the other shudder. 

“I didn’t give up on you. I’m just not in a good mood today, but i guess that you are not as well.” He said and leaned closer to Felix’s face, nearly kissing him while he spoke again. “Just say it, ask me. Ask me to take care of you and i will…”

“Please give me food?” Felix asked and smiled at Chan, knowing very well that he was getting in a very dangerous zone, but he couldn’t do what Chan asked him to do. It wasn’t easy for Felix to let Chan be in control. Once Chan has a taste of being superior to Felix he might even ask him to give him head. He was scared of how things might turn out if he wasn’t careful enough.

Chan rolled his eyes, cutting the distance between their faces as he made sure to press a kiss over Felix’s full lips, hard enough to make his broken lips hurt and pulled back confidently, leaving Felix there as he stepped back to the fridge and took out the food, casually preparing dinner for him, since Felix disobeyed again and tried to act like a brat again. 

“Just to let you know, my hands are golden. You might reconsider your lies after you taste this shit.” He spoke mockingly and put the food in the microwave, turning to face Felix again.

“What lies?” Felix smiled innocently. “I can tell you I like you, or even love you, but then that would be a lie…” 

“Very smart.” Chan smiled sarcastically and turned around again, taking the food out when it was ready, stepping to the plot again and put the dish down, throwing Felix a glare. “Sit down and eat it.” He ordered and folded his arms, waiting for Felix to obey at least once and stop being stubborn.

And Felix did, because he was famished since a few hours ago, and being able to finally taste normal food made him so happy he started making those happy humming sounds, while eating, without even looking at Chan. “Can you give me some water?” He asked, still not looking at Chan. But when Chan reached out to give him the glass of water, Felix noticed something suspiciously familiar on Chan’s forearm. “What the fuck?” He rose his head in shock, “Chan did you get the same tattoo as me?”

Chan looked down at him, feeling weird that he got caught by the other. He thought that he had a nice cover by his other tattoos, but Felix was smart enough to get details and that made Chan pull his arm back and hide it like an idiot. 

“Yes. I liked it.” He admitted and rested himself against the counter, trying to look everywhere but at Felix’s face. “I definitely didn’t do it because i’m dying in love with you and i need to declare that feeling, no, thats not the case, sweety.”

“Oh my God, Chan…” Felix gaped at the blond’s confession. His words made him feel confused again, and he also felt warm at his cheeks. “I really don’t know what to say… You really don’t deserve what I do to you… I should really leave.” 

“I said i just did it, because i like it, okay?” Chan got defensive, staring at Felix nervously as he noticed that blush on his face and it tickled his insides in a really weird way. He stepped closer to Felix and picked his chin in his fingers, making him look up at him. “Don’t think about it. Just eat.”

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” Felix moved his face away from Chan’s touch, as it got way too intense for him. “I don’t want you to end up hurting after I get married, I really don’t know what to do with you…”

“Isn’t that happening from the start? But there is one thing that you could do with me…” Chan decided to distract Felix and walked over the plot, nearing the other as he thought that maybe Felix was still not fed and calm, but he wanted to be selfish like him now. Chan was aware that Felix was catching some of his feelings and maybe it was his fault, because he wasn’t hiding them well, but every step closer to Felix was making his heart race and he put his hands on Felix’s thighs, spinning him against himself with the chair. When Felix faced him, Chan parted his legs and got close to him, taking his face in his hands. 

“... let me fuck you again, sweety. I’m a big boy, i know how to deal with myself. Let me deal with you now.” He spoke, trying to get close to Felix without doing much, because he knew how fast Felix could flip the game and leave again, and to be honest, Chan was really dying for this. To be this close to him, to feel his heat, his warm face in his hands, his legs around his waist… “I miss you.”

Felix looked a bit dazed by Chan at that particular moment, and he wasn’t sure how to react to his invitation, but it would be considered cruel if he says no to him. And it wasn’t like he didn’t want to fuck him. 

“Are you mad at me? Like are you gonna fuck me like you wanna break me, cuz I’m actually in pain…”

“Where does it hurt?” Chan asked and leaned closer to his face, leaving a path of kisses along Felix’s jaw and cheek, showing him nothing but pure affection while his hands started undoing the buttons of his shirt, since he himself had almost nothing on the way and to stand between Felix’s legs now was making him feel aroused. 

“Well my ass doesn’t hurt, I can tell you that.” Felix laughed, trying to lighten the mood, because Chan was getting too hot and to intimate, Felix felt like Chan was about to die any moment, by the way he was touching him. “What happened to you, you’re so…” Felix pushed Chan off him and looked at him “Why are you looking at me like that?” He kept asking questions, that he probably knew the answers to.

BangChan leaned towards his face again and stole another kiss, even though Felix was not responding as well, he knew how to turn him on and he started with a new path of kisses that lead him to the boy’s neck. 

“I am so what, sweety?” He asked quietly and finished with the buttons of the shirt, and blindly started pulling it down from Felix’s shoulders while he kept sucking softly over that specific area on his neck..

Felix didn’t bother with replying to the question because what he thought was scaring him. He just let out a moan to distract Chan from all the talking, since he knew how much Chan enjoyed that, always asking Felix to moan for him. He immediately pushed his fingers through Chan’s hair once he had the chance to do that. “I missed your hair…”

“I asked you a question.” Chan said and his tongue licked a small part of skin, while his hands were trying to reach Felix’s nipples, brushing them softly. “I am so what? Answer me.”

“Why are you looki...ng at me like that… like… you… fuck you Chan.” Felix managed to almost construct a proper sentence while Chan was working him up as always. Because he knew that Felix wouldn’t bother to show any affection, not even when they were fucking. But Chan was a lot more curt when he was talking and that was kind of a turn of for Felix that he wasn’t gonna admit.

“Okay then.” Chan’s hands moved on Felix’s butt and grabbed it hard as he picked up the boy in his hands and carried him to his room, setting him down on the bed. When he got Felix spread on the bed, Chan pulled back so he could look at him and just then he noticed the damage that this guard did on him. 

Felix had blue spots over his ribs, chest, his stomach even. They looked so painful that it made him frown, thinking about how hard that motherfucker must have kicked or hit Felix so he could do such damage for such a short period of time. Chan’s hands formed fists and he couldn’t look away from Felix’s upper body, imagining the same bruises on his legs as well, and the thought of that made his body tense angrily. 

Then he bit his bottom lip and smirked. 

“I’m gonna make sure that this bastard won’t be able to use his hands for a long time.” He said lowly, leaning over Felix’s body and brought his lips over one specific dark blue spot, kissing it softly. “They can’t touch you if i’m around. I’m gonna fuck them up one by one, i give you my word, until i find the one who did this to you, because i can be fucking cruel, i can be hitman, i can be an easy fuck, i can be a drug addict…. But no matter who gives me orders to hurt you, i’m gonna blow up his head instead. I won’t hurt you.”

“You’re so dramatic about this. You do know that I could have fucked him up if I wanted. I had a point to get through to my dad. I don’t wanna get married, he can break my legs if he wants to keep me in the house, but I will keep finding ways to run away. So don’t think about this too much.” Felix said coldly, proving once again that he was deprived of emotions. He didn’t feel anything when it came even to himself, besides some physical pain. But physical pain was better than feeling emotionally hurt. “You’re really… getting possessive of me…”

Chan stilled himself and closed his eyes, feeling how something clenched in his chest and it made him feel uneasy. Why was he feeling like this recently? Why was Felix so good at catching his feelings and why he wanted to still be distant from Chan when he was here with him, in his room, on his bed, knowing nothing about his own intentions. 

Chan wanted to ask him why he was really there, but he decided not to, because Felix was simply showing him each time that he didn’t give a shit about him. 

What he wanted right now was probably to get fucked hard and leave without leaving any traces. 

“Say whatever you want.” He mumbled, moving his lips up and they parted for his tongue again. Chan started licking Felix’s right nipple teasingly, both of his hands moving to his pants and he started undoing them impatiently, letting that passion in him work instead of his head. Thinking wasn’t doing any good for him and Chan had no idea why he kept talking, but he wanted Felix to feel good with him. 

“I haven’t taken any drugs today. This is me, when i’m sober.” He told Felix and pulled away from the nipple that he teased, only to get Felix out of his pants.

“Is that why you look at me like that? Cuz you can fully appreciate my divine being?” Felix chuckled at his own words. “And when you got the tattoo, were you high?” Felix moved a bit while Chan was stripping him off his pants, but that movement made him feel the pain from a bruise near his waist, which made him hiss. 

“Lay down, sweety.” Chan didn’t reply to his question and threw Felix’s pants away, hovering over him again as he started to kiss his abs passionately, going down when he pulled Felix’s boxers low and picked his cock in his hand, stroking it slowly. “Tell me what you want me to do, do you want me to give you head?” He asked, but his lips already kissed the tip of Felix’s cock and he looked up at the other, waiting for his orders.

“Don’t look at me like that, please?” Felix whined when Chan was already sucking his dick and giving him looks from time to time. There was something in the way his eyes glistened every time he looked at Felix, and now having him like that, treating him gently, and looking at him like he loved him, made Felix disgusted with himself for the way he was treating Chan. 

“Should i take my drugs then, Felix?” Chan asked and his fingers started stroking him fast, but he didn’t do much more than that, because he was busy to stare at how Felix’s lips parted and he let out a silenced moan. He was so damn pretty that Chan’s cock was already impatiently hard in his boxers and he couldn’t wait until he gets it back where it belonged. “Fuck.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Felix almost moaned while tried to make a sentence. “Why did you have to fuck with my head like that? You’re so easy..’’ Felix was trying to explain something to Chan, but the other was stroking his dick, and that was distracting, so Felix stopped Chan’s hand on his dick and that made the later look at him. “...to be controlled when you’re high. But not today... You shouldn’t let people take advantage of you, okay?”

“Are you the one who’s taking advantage of me?” Chan asked and since Felix was looking at him, even dared to stop him from giving him pleasure, he disobeyed again and leaned down, licking the tip of his cock, just to tease him. 

“Can you fuck me already?” Felix decided to say instead. They were going in circles, it was obvious that they will end up apart anyway, there was no point in having that kind of conversations. That’s why he harshly grabbed Chan’s hair and pulled him up to his face, to kiss him. He didn’t wait for a reply, because Chan was so slow, taking his time with him, like what they were doing was something special. “Can you?” He asked again when he pulled Chan’s face away from his just as harsh as before.

“Felix, are you scared of what you wanna really tell me?” Chan asked him, looking dead serious. His face was inches closer from the other and his heart was already freaking out, but no matter what he was saying, Chan pulled aside, reaching his night stand to get his bottle of lube and opened it, pouring a lot on his hand after he got rid of his boxers. 

“Can you help me sneak out of the house tomorrow?” Felix suddenly asked while Chan was spreading the lube on his entrance. “Once I get married I probably will move away from Korea, and… I guess we won’t see each other, so if you want to… we can just do this while I’m here..” Chan was hovering above him with one finger up his ass, but Felix was trying to avoid his eyes while voicing his mind. If Chan wanted to get back at him, Felix just gave him the greatest opportunity to do that.

But he was so damn confusing that Chan thought that maybe if he was high, he would understand Felix better. Maybe he his emotions would get dull again and he would feel less, express less, he was going to be back to normal, but Felix wanted to be with him now, because he was scared of what he was going to lose. 

Thinking about that made Chan feel how some bothering emotion got stuck in his chest and it was so hard for him to breath for a moment. 

In that moment he pulled his finger out and guided his cock inside Felix instead, letting it pass through his tight entrance. His quiet moans broke the silence and Chan pressed a kiss against Felix’s lips, pushing his hips against him to get his entire cock in him. 

“We could've been… doing this for so long…. If you hadn't kept me away all the time.” He said in breaks, eyes closing because of the nice fire that started in his body. Fire that recently only Felix was able to control. 

Felix wanted to say too many things to Chan, but it was so hard to form even a thought when they were fucking. It was ridiculous how they did this every time they fucked. “I wasn’t keeping you… away from me… I was keeping myself away from you.” He decided to say cryptically. Because that’s what it was. He didn’t want to catch feelings for Chan, but with the way Chan was treating him, and the person Chan was it was very to catch feelings for him. But Felix tried to be careful and avoid that. “Nothing of the things I do is to hurt you, I was trying to protect myself…”

Chan pushed his hips against him again, harder, which made both of them moan, but Felix’s moan was a bit pained, probably because he didn’t stretch him well before doing this. 

But the things that Felix was telling him now, when he was balls deep in him were making Chan shake from excitement and no matter how crazy that could sound, he liked to know that Felix was having a hard time with him as well. 

“So you want me as well.” Chan stated, pulling back a bit, just to thrust hard, starting off a pace that was gonna fuck with Felix’s mind for a while, but this is how Chan wanted him - messy, desperate, he wanted to hear all of Felix’s thoughts and screw him until its hard for him to keep his freaking moans back. “You wanna get fucked like this, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Felix whined at the way Chan started putting more effort in his moves “Oh. Fuck.” Chan put his hand on Felix’s hip, way too close to a bruise that made Felix groan in pain “Let go, it hurts.” He kept whining at the pain, but when his back was aching every time he felt a stronger sensation, he felt pain on the side of his ribs. “I can’t have a bro… oh fuck… Chan..” Felix was feeling a mix of pain and pleasure, he wasn’t able to convey his point. “My ribs…”

The other stilled himself for a moment and his entire body was shaking as he tried to keep himself up on his hands. He looked down at Felix and bit his bottom lip, silencing a moan that threatened to come out because of his undying need to fuck this boy. 

“Fuck… do you wanna…” Chan failed, rocking his hips deep again and his eyes closed because of the pleasure that ran through him. “Do you wanna come on top?”

“Noo..” Felix whined at the mixture of terrible pain, and Chan trying not to rock into him. “Just cum and you can leave me or whatever.” Felix reached for the pillow behind him and squeezed it until his knuckles became white. “Okay, go.”

“Felix, you can just ride me, sweety. I’m not gonna hurt you.” Chan was on the verge of doing exactly that. In fact, he felt like he was able to flip Felix on his stomach and handle him from behind, fuck him until he doesn’t feel any pain and make him feel good. And as he brought their foreheads together, Chan still thrusted deep in the other, knowing that probably every impact of his back and the bed were hurting like hell, so he started kissing Felix’s lips with each thrust. “I wanna make you feel good… i wanna… ah, fuck you better. I wanna make you go crazy, sweety…” He started to speed up again, lead by that passion that Felix started in him. “I wanna make you struggle… think about… me.”

“You’ve already done that” Felix cupped Chan’s face, letting go of the pillow, “it’s not your fault, it’s mine for not beating that ass up, and whining in pain right now.” That was good, to be able to speak without jolting in pain. “Let’s hurry up tho.”

Chan smirked, obeying to what Felix wished as he tilted his head and decided to give him more bruises. His lips sank on the side of his neck and he sucked it while his hips pushed against the other, making a faster pace now. The fast skin slapping was making Chan’s body tens with every thrust and he ended up moaning against Felix, fucking him deep like that, but no matter how harsh and confident he wanted to be, there was something about the way that he treated Felix tonight that seemed different. 

Chan didn’t speak when he rocked his hips against Felix, but then he wanted to make the other feel good as well and he pulled out of him without a warning, reaching out for one of the pillows beside them. 

“Put that underneath.” He said, waiting for Felix to lift his pretty butt up and put the pillow below his waist, spreading his legs affectionately. Chan took a moment to observe and cherish him… his hands moved along Felix’s legs, fingers caressing the healing tattoo and he picked his cock in his free hand, pushing himself back in Felix with a loud groan.

“Fuck you are… so pretty.” Chan hissed, enjoying the new angle and lifted Felix’s legs over his shoulders, freaking out on top of him for a moment as his thrusts became fast and messy, due to the pleasure that surrounded him.

“Okay, that’s a bit better..” Felix concluded, and started moaning louder every time “I think I’m closee..” He decided to warn Chan, before he makes a mess on him, although the blond didn’t wear a condom and was going to make a mess inside Felix.

“Me too…” Chan mumbled, edging him like that with his dick moving deep and fast in him, but each thrust was making him see colors and Chan knew that if he kept going, he was going to bring himself to end. He stopped for a moment and let Felix’s legs fall back on the bed when he sat up, wrapping a hand around the boy’s hard cock, spreading the pre-cum that was leaking from it along the shaft and stroke it fast, watching over that sexy expression that Felix had on his face right now. “I’m gonna be bad with you, sweety…” Chan warned him, bringing his free hand towards Felix’s lips and caressed his bottom lip with his thumb, making a single push inside of him to make it hard for Felix to disobey. “Suck it. Show me how you look when you suck a dick.”

Felix’s eyes popped wide open at Chan’s demand. He much preferred him when he was high and inadequate because when he was aware of what was going on, ideas were coming to his mind. He knew that Felix didn’t have much of a choice, and that’s why he was smirking like that at him. But it wasn’t that pleasant for Felix. However, he let Chan slide his thumb through his lips, and if Chan thought he was going to be bad, Felix could be worse. He licked the pad of Chan’s thumb, before he sucked it gently. He knew he was making it too easy for Chan by doing this without any protest, but maybe in a few months Chan will be a closed chapter in his life. And that made Felix’s heart tug in a weird way. So instead of thinking of that, he closed his eyes and gave Chan what he wanted. He kept a steady pace for that, because he knew Chan needed just a little bit from Felix, to get off.

“Fuck, you are so hot.” Chan hissed and pulled out his cock without any warning, stroking himself fast now, while watching how Felix was sucking his finger just like he would suck him. But if he had a cock in his mouth, his pretty lips would stretch more, he was going to probably gag, his eyes would get teary and BangChan was going to fill up his pretty lips so bad that his cum would drip down on his chin. Thinking about that made him release so fast that he let out a silent cry, his lips stood parted when he painted Felix’s abs and chest with his release, making it so messy that he knew Felix wouldn’t like it, but he didn’t care, because it felt too good. 

“Gonna beat your fucking ass once I get better.” Felix whined at Chan’s nerve. “Why are you always like this?” 

Chan smiled distractedly and rubbed his thumb over Felix’s bottom lip, while speeding up the tempo of his hand, stroking Felix faster now to get him to his own release. 

“Like what, sweety? Creative? Sexy?” He offered, locking his fingers in circle right beneath the head of Felix’s cock and stimulated it like that, watching how his face twisted in pleasure. “Cum for me baby… i wanna taste you again…”

Felix’s back arched when he felt his release finally reaching him. He let out a stream of moans when Chan was steadily working his dick. “Why do you make sex appear so intimate?” He breathed once he started releasing all over Chan’s hand.

Chan admired him for a moment, having no idea what Felix meant with his words, but he knew what he wanted from him. He wasn’t done yet, and Felix would either get pissed at him or just accept the fact that this was indeed intimate. 

“I guess you've never had a passionate partner.” Chan said and bit his bottom lip, picking up from the cum that he shot on Felix’s chest, testing his luck when he brought his thumb back to his lips. “You can taste me too, sweety. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Fuck off!” Felix frowned and slapped Chan’s hand away from his face. “Don’t get too deep in your head about this Chan. I’m also not gonna suck your dick… so don’t try me with your fucking cum.” Felix was more than annoyed, right after he came down from his high, and the rest of his body was in pain.

Chan chuckled quietly, leaning over Felix so he could give him a kiss and his eyes closed in bliss when he got rejected by the other, but it didn’t feel like a harsh act, but just a very stubborn and pouty Felix, who wanted his lips to get raped by his. 

“Well you had some progress today… i had to try at least.” Chan said softly and started sending kisses on Felix’s cheek, jaw, moved on his neck and kisses few of his love bites.

“Progress?” Felix snorted. When Chan’s head was so close to his hand he had to actually let it play with his hair. There was something about it that made him feel content about life in general. Which was ridiculous. “Are you training me or something? You really want me to give you head..?”

“Yes. If i do it, you have to do it as well.” Chan replied childishly and rubbed his head against Felix’s hand, acting like a fucking cheeseball for no freaking reason, but Felix’s fingers were caressing his hair so good that he was finding it hard to support his heavy body up right now. So he relaxed, his chest crushing down against Felix as he completely forgot that the other was hurt and that Felix’s body was all painted by their cum. Great fucking idea, Chan. 

Felix groaned in pain and pushed Chan to roll of him. His body was aching so bad he couldn’t help the tear that came out, he was holding it in for so long, that he couldn’t do this when Chan’s full weight smashed his ribs. “That hurt. I’m never sucking your fucking dick.” Felix said stubbornly and slapped Chan’s chest.

The other looked aside at him, letting his eyes examine the damage again and he hated it. He hated how Felix’s white skin was making these ugly blue spots show up even darker. He hated how Felix’s pretty face twisted in pain or how his eyes filled up with tears. 

Chan didn’t want to hurt him again, so he just picked Felix’s hand and kissed the back of it, showing him nothing but tenderness this time. 

“I’m sorry…. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Felix sighed and moved closer to Chan. He was still holding his hand, so he had to reach with his free hand to cup his face and make him look straight into his eyes. “I know.” He said and laid his head on Chan’s chest, the cum on Felix’s chest smeared on Chan’s arm and Felix frowned in disgust. “I’m laying here in your cum… you must be proud of yourself, no one has ever done that.”

“I am proud. That i actually made you stay here.” Chan had no idea from where he was getting these words and that confidence, but he secured Felix in his arms as he pulled him even closer, feeling so relaxed and calm right now that it was insane. It was like Felix was his new drug and he couldn’t get enough of him. The thought of that made him smile and he closed his eyes, inhaling from Felix’s perfect scent. “Stay here for the night, sweety.”

“Can you stay with me tomorrow? Favor for a favor?” Felix decided to try to bargain with Chan, when probably there was no need for that. “I don’t wanna be around the people who beat me when I’m unable to fight back. And I’m sure I won’t be able to walk after your…. Treatment.”

“Come on, i wasn’t that bad.” Chan mumbled and felt weirdly sleepy now, so he just got more comfortable and dig his fingers in Felix’s hair like he loved to do, stroking his hair. “And don’t worry, sweety. I’m gonna take care of that motherfucker who hurt you.”

“Thank you, Chan.” Felix whispered and wrapped his arm around Chan’s waist to get comfortable. Chan always felt safe, even when he crushed his body minutes ago Felix didn’t mind. He was focusing on his intentions, and Chan was probably the most genuine person in his life. “I’ll take care of you as well.”

***

Felix woke up wrapped around a pile of sheets. His whole body was aching, and he could barely roll himself over to lay on his back. He needed a few seconds to adjust his eyes to the environment. He knew the place, but he hadn’t seen it so brightly illuminated by the actual sun. The previous time Chan had the shades closed, and it had a completely different vibe. He looked around the room, this time he got an idea that Chan was a very dark person on the inside considering the black walls. He tried to sit up and collect his mind before he went to wash up. His hand accidentally rubbed against his covered in cum chest which made him grunt in annoyance. He definitely needed to take a shower, because the dry cum felt weird and made him feel dirty. 

It wasn’t that easy for him to move around the bed, because of his injuries, but Chan also went a bit overboard while fucking him, which made his life harder. There was some weird smell of food coming from the kitchen probably, and that made Felix’s heart flip, just because he had never had that kind of experience in his entire life. There were people who cooked for him, but the kitchen was so far from his room he never felt it like anything special. On the other hand, a guy he fucked was probably cooking for him, so it was more than weird. Was Chan gonna treat him like they’re dating or something? That was messing with Felix’s head to a point he forgot he was about to take a shower. He was just sitting in the bed staring at the void, thinking about his fucked up situation.

He had a few options to solve the problem at hand, but he didn’t know what was the reason why he wasn’t proceeding with it. He could literally get up and leave before Chan has the chance to see him, but interestingly, he just rubbed his eyes to chase away the sleepiness, and leaned his back on the board of the bed. The confusion was chased away from his mind when he saw Chan’s silhouette moving around the house, from where he was sitting. This was so fucked up in Felix’s head, he couldn’t decide how to treat Chan when he decides to approach him.

The other showed up on the doorway a moment after, topless and wearing only his boxers and a curious look on his face. He had cigarette in his hand and a cup of coffee in the other when he noticed that Felix was awake and disappeared again, coming back after a moment only with the cup in his hand, walking over to the bed without saying anything and when he approached, he just sat down and finally did something to greet Felix. 

He smiled. 

“Hi. I am very high, just to let you know.”  
  
“Why?” Felix asked and looked Chan dead in the eye. He was confused and vulnerable three seconds ago, but thankfully Chan did some shit that would get him mad and make him leave right after he gives him a lesson.

“Because i woke up thinking about you and there is a habit that I acquired lately, which is to kill my feelings with weed. No powders, i promise.” The other replied and noticed that angry look in Felix’s pretty eyes and it felt like his technique to deal with emotions wasn’t working anymore, because his heart made a flip and he looked down, he - the freaking underground hitman, looked down because of someone’s strong stare. “I cooked for you. Thought that i didn’t let you eat properly last night, so i used my useless hands to do something nice.”

“You’re really stupid.” Felix said childishly and leaned forward to lay his head in Chan’s lap so he could look up at him from where he was laying. “Why do you talk like that about yourself? I don’t like you, but what I don’t like even more is when you talk shit about yourself…” He reached his hand up to pull Chan’s head down closer to his face and kissed his nose. “Feed me, slave.”

That sudden playfulness made Chan laugh and he almost dropped the cup of coffee that he held when he rubbed his nose against Felix’s one, smiling at the close distance between their faces. 

“There is one magic word, sweety. Say it.” He mumbled and dared to act brave when he moved his lips and gave Felix an upside down kiss. 

Felix frowned and moved away from Chan. He pushed himself up with a few grunts and finally came to a conclusion what that word could be. “I’ll leave?” He suggested and waited for Chan to do what he wanted.

“You are so stubborn.” Chan rolled his eyes and stood up from the bed to give him space, thinking that he was pushing Felix’s buttons more than he had to and knowing the other, he was going to disappear for another week, but Chan had plans for that day and his muscles were tensed ever since he woke up, having dark thoughts while he was cooking in the kitchen. His feelings for Felix weren’t the reason why he got high again. It was the itch in his palms. Chan knew that he wanted to go to Felix’s mansion and find out who was the bitch that dared to turn his back on Felix just because his father told him to. 

For Chan, that guard was a traitor. If he was meant to be loyal to Felix, then he had to stay by his side and protect him, no matter who gave the orders. If Chan was in that man’s place, he would disobey. No matter what that would cost him. 

“Shower and come to the kitchen, i’m not gonna beg you to be nice” He said when he started to get angry for no reason and turned around to give Felix space again.

Felix felt a pang in his heart when Chan got angry at him for something he would overlook all the previous times. He wouldn’t do that if he was thinking straight, but his actions were faster than his mind. He quickly moved from his place to grab at Chan’s wrist and get his attention back on himself. “Why are you mad at me? I was just playing.”

“I’m not mad at you.” Chan said easily, because his reasons to walk away were different, but when Felix stopped him, he figured that his anger was not fully covered by the weed effect. So he smiled. “I don’t want you to leave before you try my food. I actually put all my anger in it.”

“I don’t wanna leave either, but you don’t wanna spoil me, and this makes me annoyed.” Felix frowned at his own words. He wasn’t supposed to say these things to Chan, but he did and he realized that there was something about Chan that was slowing down his brain function and he was following some primal instincts he wasn’t aware he possessed.

“Spoil you?” Chan repeated and looked amused for a moment. “Oh damn i can do that. Come on, my king, i will show you what happens when you wish for my attention.” He said playfully and since Felix was too lazy that morning, or just too hurt, Chan stepped closer to the bed and wrapped his arms around his body, picking him up in his own as he ruined the boy’s comfort zone but he didn’t care. He just carried Felix to his living room and moved to the kitchen area, carefully putting the blonde to sit down on the tall chair. He flashed Felix another smile before leaving his side and walked on the other side of the plot, taking all the plates that he prepared earlier. He had no idea what Felix liked to have for breakfast, so he ended up preparing three different things and put them in front of the other, resting his hands against the counter, waiting to see a positive reaction. 

Felix was too busy to feel weird about having to sit on that chair completely naked. He was staring at the food for a while before deciding what to do. After he was a bit more aware of the situation and the sleepiness wasn’t blurring his mind, he could make better decisions. He was trying to treat Chan as if he was one of his clients, but the other was so natural in his actions and Felix was responding positively to whatever Chan does that he couldn’t even eat. He was so confused, but once Chan knows about it he will do even weirder shit to get to Felix, so it was hard for Felix to act the way he did all this time.   
  
“I… don’t feel like eating naked… like… my ass is literally stuck to the chair.” 

That made the other laugh and he nodded ironically, disappearing again for a short period of time, coming back with Felix’s boxers and stepped closer to him, handing him the cloth so they could be even.

“There, can you stop complaining now? I did a lot to impress you.” He said, fishing for compliments that he was sure Felix would never give him, but either way he was probably annoying the grumpy blonde with his bright mood. 

Felix grabbed his boxers and started putting them on clumsily. “But at least I am sure that you are completely unbothered by my naked body. Why though?” He sat back on the chair and took a hold of a fork to stab the omelette in front of him. “Why didn’t you do anything while I was showering and you were just standing there?”

“This week?” Chan asked and stood beside him, not disturbing him in any way, but the sight that Felix didn’t frown at the taste of the food made him feel nice. “I was angry at you. You were giving me the cold shoulder and i didn’t wanna let you know that i was getting turned on by the view. I am more complicated than you think, sweety. I actually get angry when you play with me.”

“I was playing with you?” Felix asked while chewing on his food, which made his words almost incomprehensible. “I don’t know what can be more straightforward than me standing naked in front of you. You really are very complicated…”

“So you were doing it to break my walls and make me act like a horny bastard when i was supposed to guard you?” Chan had no idea that Felix was doing that with such intentions. What he thought was that Felix just wanted to show him what he couldn’t have anymore and it was making him so angry that he couldn’t even look at that wet sexy body, because it was always giving him a hard time. He bit his lip in the realization of that and stared at how calm Felix was while eating, admiring him even more now. “I was always hard…”

“Well thanks for guarding me” Felix said mockingly, “but why would I want you inside the fucking bathroom Chan? Like, I can imagine what you think of me, but I like to believe that I’m kinda ok of a person..” He put another bite in his mouth, pulled Chan closer to him with his free hand and smiled at him. “Feed me?”

“Kinky.” The blonde raised an eyebrow but chose not to disobey, because he liked how calm Felix was. Did he fuck away the tension that the other had in himself when he showed at his doorway the previous night? Did he chase away all the negative feelings while he was holding him close to himself all night? Did he do anything to relax Felix, who got himself beaten up badly, just because he wanted to act stubborn and oppose his father’s will?

Chan picked the fork from his tiny hand and stabbed a piece of the other dish that contained fried bacon and other bullshit that he found frozen in his fridge and brought the fork to Felix’s full lips, poking them for entrance. 

“Come on, one bite for daddy.” He didn’t lose his spirit though, smirking at Felix. However, Felix just opened his mouth without even batting an eye at Chan’s antics. 

“Thanks, daddy.” He said with his mouth still full of food and slapped Chan’s ass. What a funny guy he was, thinking he can play Felix.

The response made Chan dizzy and he bit his bottom lip, stuffing that smartass’s mouth before he could try to play him again. 

“Don’t get creative now. You are very close to make me think that you are getting used to me. The next thing you know is how i pull my boxers down and fill up your pretty mouth… with my dick.” He said and laughed, picking up more food and poked the pretty boy’s lips again. “One more for daddy?”

Felix opened his mouth to make his comeback when Chan used the opportunity to shove the food in his mouth. He had to chew it all before he could put Chan in his place. “Do that and I’m gonna bite daddy’s dick off.” He smiled at Chan, but he knew the other wouldn’t even take it as a threat. It was weird that Chan was actually right, when he said Felix was getting used to him.

“No doubt.” Chan replied and leaned close to his face, stealing a kiss from his sweet lips, licking away the salty taste when he pulled back. “You will take me to your house now. I did what you want, now it's your turn. I wanna know who dared to touch you.” He said, being fully concentrated on this topic now, letting Felix know that he wasn’t going to let that happen again. “I was hired to take care of you. If i can’t protect you, i can avenge you. So i want you to take me there.”

“Would you do that if you weren’t paid to do it? I’m really curious why you’re getting so worked up about it when even I don’t care.” Felix moved his eyes away from Chan’s as if he was avoiding to show something to the other that would be evident in his facial expression. 

“I would. I know why you let that fucker hurt you. And it makes me feel good, because you are not weak. But Felix, you came to me. Do you feel safe with me?” Chan asked and studied his face curiously, feeling how a smile started to stretch his lips.

“I don’t have anyone else.” Felix smiled bitterly to himself and turned his whole body towards Chan so he could wrap his arms around Chan’s waist and lay his head on the other’s chest. “Is it wrong if I think I can come to you when I can’t handle things on my own?” 

“No, but i can’t handle you when you don’t let me. You are confusing me, because you play a game of hot and cold and i’m not indifferent, Felix, you know i’m not. I never was… i mean, who would search up his crush and appear at the same places as him just to talk bullshit?” The blonde asked and returned the hug, keeping Felix safe from nothing in particular. “You changed my lifestyle as well, without realizing it. You gave me time, to think, to sleep, time for myself that i didn’t have. But i don’t want it. After you hired me, i have too much time to think about us, about you… if i’m busy, i won’t keep hopes. Do you understand me?”

Felix nodded his head, rubbing his hair on Chan’s chest. “I don’t want to get married, I didn’t care before, but now I feel like there’s something completely wrong with that.” Felix mumbled and raised his head up, now resting his chin on Chan’s chest, to have a better look at him. “I would be good to you if I wasn’t obligated to get married. I would’ve been so good…”

“Why?” Chan asked, getting distracted by that pretty face and the words that Felix was saying for the first time. His heart was making weird flips and he brought both of his hands to hold the other’s face and the need to kiss his lips was driving him crazy. “You always repeat that you feel nothing. I don’t want you to talk about your feelings. I know that you won’t do it… but Felix, was it a lie? That you feel nothing…”

Chan was hitting a spot Felix didn’t really expect him to. He wondered for a bit if he should finally tell a single person about his mindset on love, but the way Chan was looking at him, and the situation made Felix completely aware that he actually fell in Chan’s trap.

“I can’t feel things, cuz if I do I get hurt. I keep away from love, so I don’t feel pain, when the people I love get killed. I can’t let myself fall in love with you… cuz I can’t go through it a second time… losing people I love traumatizes me…” He finally told Chan, and he hoped this wouldn’t backfire later.

“I’m not gonna die, Felix.” Was all that Chan said before closing that topic. He wasn’t stupid, he knew exactly what Felix meant with his words, because their life style wasn’t simple. If someone tried harder, they could really kill Felix, they could blow up Chan’s head in a moment of weakness and if they let each other fall in a daze, both of them could get hurt. And if what Felix said was true and his father send him away from this town, this country even, then how was Chan going to follow him? He couldn’t get out of his own net, because his family needed him. It was just a matter of time before all of this is gone and Chan wondered….. Was it worth it to even talk about feelings when time was putting pressure on both of them? 

Maybe it was a mistake to stop talking about it now, but Chan didn’t want Felix to continue. He knew… he knew that Felix wasn’t indifferent, and that was enough to calm him down.

“Finish your breakfast and we can go. I’m gonna go get dressed.” He mumbled and kept holding Felix’s face when he leaned down and pressed a kiss against his soft lips.

“Not gonna shower?” Felix mumbled still keeping his face close to Chan’s. “You’re not a very good daddy..” He smirked deviously and pecked Chan’s lips.

“You are so bad…” Chan mumbled and laughed, kissing him one more time while his hands moved down and behind, grabbing Felix’s ass. “Wrap around me, daddy will take care of you.”

Felix laughed, showing all of his teeth. He wrapped his legs around Chan’s waist and nuzzled in Chan’s neck. “Do you have a daddy kink or something?”

“No, but you will make me have one very soon.” The other said and pulled Felix up, walking towards the bathroom as he tried to look at where he was going with that body in his hands, and then he shoved Felix in the bathroom, putting him down on his feet and when the other moved under the shower, Chan turned the hot water on and adjusted it so that Felix could feel it nicely. “Do you need me to wash your hair as well, my king?”

Felix bit his bottom lip trying to hide his smile, that eventually spread on his face. “Do you want to?” He asked almost shyly, turning his body from side to side like a five year old. That action turned out to be painful, so he furrowed his eyebrows, but didn’t make a sound.

“Yes.” Chan put his hands on his shoulders and turned him around, not really joining him because he already got in the shower earlier, so he focused on Felix now, putting shampoo on his golden head, rubbing it gently all around his hair and he felt how Felix was nicely responding to that action, so he kept doing it for a while, just massaging his scalp before he pushed him under the water and let him choke.

Felix glared at him and splashed some water on Chan, in a weak attempt of revenge. “And I started to think you actually have more than two brain cells.”   
  


“It’s always nice to watch you choke on something.” Chan made a weird hint about Felix’s unstopping rejection to give him head and laughed, keeping his hands on his head to wash away the shampoo. “It will be even better if its my cum, but let’s not dream about it, right?”

“Why are you so fixed on that?” Felix whined and pulled Chan right under the stream of water making his boxers wet. “You shoved your fucking finger in my mouth last night… I can’t believe this.” He kept ranting while keeping Chan steadily under the water, in case the other tries to run away.

But he didn’t, instead he pushed Felix firmly against the wall and trapped his body with his own, leaning to press a full kiss on his lips. “I was just creative because you kept me away from this..” he phrased and slid his hands down on Felix, touching his wet body. “Let's not talk about how you make me feel.”

Felix pushed his leg between Chan’s legs and brought it up to rub it at his dick. “You’re so fucking hot, and wet, but I really can’t have sex with you right now.” He said and kissed Chan’s cheek. “This backfired for me, shouldn’t have pulled you under the water.”

The other was getting distracted by the way Felix was rubbing him and held back a moan, just staring at Felix’s pretty face for a moment, feeling completely taken by him. 

“We shouldn’t… i’m trying to keep my anger so i can beat up your fucking guard. But you are so pretty right now… can you feel it? How hard you are making me by doing almost nothing.” He moved to say in Felix’s ear and pressed himself even harder so the other could really feel his size.

“You really should have jumped me in that bathroom… why are you like this… I want you here, I don’t want you to beat people…” Felix pulled Chan’s head in front of his face, so he could smash they mouths together in a mix of a sloppy and passionate kiss. 

Felix was generous with him that morning, so Chan made a fast decision to give him what he deserves and parted from their heated kiss, going down on his knees and his right hand quickly found Felix’s cock, stroking it to full hardness and when he was satisfied enough, he brought his lips to it, taking in as much as he could, relaxing his mouth to the size so he could make Felix freak out faster. 

“Oh fuck” Felix groaned and grabbed Chan’s hair to make him engulf more of his size. “Fuck, fuck…” He tried to snap his hips at a satisfying pace, but the pain wasn’t allowing him to. In addition to his sore ass from the previous night, Felix was a complete mess who couldn’t take control of anything. 

But Chan was skillful enough to make him feel good, bobbing his head, adjusting to the pace fast enough to keep sucking Felix, doing it until those beautiful moans started praising his work and that made him pull back, stroking Felix’s cock while he took his time to look up at his wet face and admire it. 

“Are you gonna fill up my mouth, sweety? Is daddy good to you now?” He asked nastily, increasing the pace even more while he leaned his head and started licking away his precum, tasting him in the action. “Fuck, when you recover, i’m gonna fuck you like crazy, i promise you.”

“Daddy… is always good… to me…” Felix managed to assemble his words, and twisted his fingers in Chan’s hair. He wasn’t planning on getting sexual with Chan, but he ended in a mess he started. “So good…” He encouraged Chan, as he learned that Chan is into compliments while fucking him or giving him head.

And he was right, because Chan was getting more passionate when he kept on stroking him fast, licking the head until he heard Felix’s pretty moans getting louder and that pretty body of his was tensing up, his hands gripping on Chan’s hair so hard that he could feel his scalp pulsing, but it didn’t matter because it was just an act of passion and Chan wanted Felix to feel exactly this. So he started sucking him fully again, making him whine when his mouth got all the size in one go, deep throating him like that until his reflex made him gag and he had to pull back a bit, stroking the base. 

“You’re so fucking good at this” Felix breathed when he had the opportunity “If it was me giving you head, you’d be very disappointed, you know?” 

Chan wanted to disagree, but he didn’t stop sucking that cock until he felt a particular hard pull of his hair that made him wince in pain and he pulled back to protest but then Felix started to shoot his load messily, covering his nose, lips and cheek with his cum. The dirty action made Chan smirk and he turned to suck it deep again, taking the rest of his release like a good boy. 

“You’re so nasty.” Felix stated after he witnessed that sight. He let out a few groans at the end of his release and his hand finally let go of Chan’s hair. 

Chan smirked up at him, letting the water wash away the rest of the cum that painted his face before he stood up and kissed Felix, letting him taste himself with that kiss. 

“Learn from me, baby.” He used a different pet name and smiled against his lips.

“Maybe in another life, daddy.” Felix replied quickly before pulling Chan to kiss him again and prevent him from spilling more bullshit.


	6. Better version of himself.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooo this fic is over! I will reply to your motivating comments and thank you for everything in the first place!   
> Lets hope that you will like the end .... and who knows, this might continue xD MIGHT!

Through the road to the mansion, Chan was overthinking. He had this habit when he wanted to do something that he considered as wise, and his brain was rejecting it - it was to think of various ways to solve the problem without doing more damage or put himself in danger. 

They entered the area of Felix’s home and Chan’s body tensed visibly when the guys holding guns let his car pass through the gates and gave him permission to park his car in front of the huge mansion. He was used to views like that, he was used to guys holding dangerous weapons ever since he was a kid. 

His brain was taking weapons as some sort of protection and he never had problems with armed people, but the case in this house was different. It weren’t his men who were holding the guns, he didn’t know any of these faces that were staring at him like he was a prey. 

Chan was throwing them glares, knowing that none of these men were the ones responsible for Felix’s wounds. He was sure that whoever took the order to beat up Felix, was an insider who had the power and privilege to be around Felix. What a waste. The fucker probably didn’t even blink when Felix let him throw his nasty punches and kicks, but Chan was capable of giving it back to him. 

He was good at vengeance. His hands were working by deadly habit and the further he walked into Felix’s mansion, the more he wanted to use them on the man who was keeping him angry since the previous night. 

Chan realized that he and Felix barely spoke a word to each other and he wondered if the other could feel his tension as well. He didn’t want to show any weakness in front of Felix, but he was sure that the boy was clever enough to find out something by himself - he was Chan’s weakness. He was important for him enough to make him step against strict rules and play his nasty game with men that weren’t under his control. 

But what Chan wanted to do today was brave. He didn’t just want to beat the shit out of that guard, but he wanted to talk to Felix’s father as well. 

Why would he do that ? Because he wanted that man to know that the next time when he ask for someone to harm Felix, Chan was going to murder the said person. 

“Who is he? Who is the one who hurt you?” He asked Felix when they entered an empty hall, their voices echoing between the tall walls. Chan stopped caring about the lack of power that he had in this house. He turned and focused on Felix instead. 

The only person that mattered for him. 

“That guy's with my father now… I think… If you feel that brave you can go to his office and look for him.” Felix said almost as if he didn't care that if Chan barged into his father’s office he'll most probably be shot on the spot. “You know what?” He reached his hand out and grabbed Chan’s hand into his. “I'll go with you.” 

“Why? You’re scared that i’m gonna get shot on the spot?” Chan asked as if he read his mind and smiled, looking down when Felix showed him the slightest sign of affection. What he didn’t know was how much that meant for the hitman, who’s heart was completely stolen. “To be honest, I know that they would shoot me. I was just acting manly.” He said and laughed. “Just show me the way and let me go. I wanna have a word with your father”

“Why now?” Felix looked at him confused, but still tugged him towards the direction of the office. “You’re acting really weird since we left. And you’re kind of tensed.” He remarked, not allowing Chan to feel too confident about the situation.

“Well, we always do your business, right? When you get to see me do mine, you will know that I'm always like this.” Chan replied and took a deep breath, feeling not just nervous but kind of curious. Curious about his performance, about how he would feel when he gets in that room and announce that he wants to break some guard’s face. Felix’s father could really order to get him killed, but that would cause a family war and he was sure that the Lee’s wouldn’t dare to kill the Bang’s best living weapon. Chan’s father was going to defend his name…. 

At least Chan hoped so. 

“Felix?” He stopped walking suddenly and looked at the pretty boy, biting his bottom lip. “Before I do this, I want you to do something for me”

“Why are you acting like you’re gonna die?” Felix chuckled, but at the end he settled for a smile. “What is it?”

“Just in case… in case i get a bullet in my head…” Chan started dramatically, laughing out loud as well, but he brought his hands up to Felix’s face and cupped it. “... can you kiss me? As if it's the last time.”

“I’ll get in with you, okay?” Felix finally said seriously. “You’re not getting shot in my fucking house.” Chan was being weird the whole time and that scared Felix to an extent that he didn’t even hear half of the words Chan said after mentioning about getting shot. “I’ve got you, okay?”

“Don’t think i’m a pussy now. Lets go.” Chan tried to make a fast recover and Felix never failed to get him angry. Of course he would prefer entering that room rather than kissing Chan in his own fucking house that probably had cameras in ever edge. So he just dropped his hopes down and frowned, releasing the boy from his hold so he could flex his arms and prepare. It would be like one of these intense fights in the underground. In any time Chan could get shot and knowing that was going to keep his blood floating. 

He felt ready in seconds, and he started walking again, figuring out which room they had to approach because of the two guards standing outside of it like statues, staring blankly at the opposite wall, having no expression on their faces. 

Chan let Felix pass by and get in his father’s room first, walking behind him with confidence, even when his entire body was tensed. 

The office room was wide, dark room. The curtains were pulled down and the whole atmosphere reminded Chan of his own home, the man standing behind the desk at the opposite side of the room, reminded him of his own father, and the guns displayed on the walls like trophies were giving him chills. 

Chan remained silent when Felix’s father looked up from his papers. Chan removed his eyes from him and glanced aside where another man was standing still. 

The man that he wanted to kill. 

“I saw you coming on the cameras.” Felix’s father spoke up and stared seriously at his son. “You… go get yourself checked. You are not 11 to run out of the house, not when you are hurt.”

“Whatever…” Felix rolled his eyes and spared a glance at Chan. “Give them hell… both of them.” He whispered and went out of the room.

Chan’s breath hitched but his eyes didn’t move from the man who was responsible for Felix’s condition last night. With every passing second he felt how he got himself into a position where he couldn’t waste more time. Every wrong step could cost him his life. 

Chan was aware of how powerful men like his dad or Felix’s dad were thinking. He wasn’t stupid to get himself mislead. Because this scene here could be just a trap. Or a challenge. 

Felix’s father knew that his son ran out of the house, but he didn’t send anyone to find him. 

Both of them were too naive, too reckless, too brave. 

Chan put his hands on his hips and picked the twin guns that this man had created for him and pulled them up, shooting the first bullet precisely between the guard’s eyebrows. The second bullet followed shortly after and the man fell down lifeless, not even making a sound. 

His blood started boiling and he looked aside at the Lee boss, seeing his indifferent expression. And that strong gaze made Chan’s whole being shake. 

“You care about him.” The man spoke calmly, taking his glasses off and leaned back on his chair as if he wasn’t bothered at all that Chan just killed one of his men in front of his eyes and still held his guns loaded. “My son…”

“It is my duty to keep him safe. He came to me…” Chan said and his voice cracked as he spoke, exposing his vulnerable emotions. His teeth gritted and he felt angry at himself for being so weak and stupid, but he held a strong posture in front of the older man and he knew that this was the only way that he could prove this man that he would to the impossible to protect Felix. 

“He came to me and told me what happened. I wanted to kill this person ever since then. Because no matter what order he was given, he should never lay a hand on Felix.” Chan said and bowed to the man. “I had to kill him, because he is not loyal to your son. I would never follow an order like that. I’d die… but i would not hurt your son.”

“Impressive.” Felix’s father said and Chan frowned again, looking up in surprise. “You really are loyal. When I had a word with your father, I was having doubts about you. But I discovered something about you. Something that changes everything.” 

“Wh-at could that be?” Chan was losing his shit, holding the guns firmly as if he expected this whole conversation to take a bad turn and he stared at Felix’s father when he opened a plastic folder and pulled out something from there. Something that made Chan’s heart flip and his eyes widened at the sight of a big photograph. A dark one, made by someone who was out on the street in a moment when the two kissing boys on that photo thought that they were alone. Then he showed Chan another photo of how he and Felix are getting in his car, then another one how Felix is sitting on his lap, then another one that Chan couldn’t see because his vision got blurred. 

He tried to gulp the lump that stuck in his throat but he couldn’t even move. 

In his head everything was a mess. He knew that Felix was fearing this, fearing that his father could end up knowing about them and it happened. 

What now? What was going to happen now? 

He snapped out of his daze when the Lee boss put the photos down and started talking again. 

“I was about to get him married to your sister, did you know?” He asked and that information made Chan even more oblivious. He shook his head and the man nodded. “Of course you didn’t know. It was a secret, because your sister was a target. Then Felix became a target as well. I would never leave my son behind, you should know that, boy. My eyes are everywhere.”

“I understand.” Chan replied, but he had no idea how he was even standing so strong after all that shit that he just heard. He tried to collect the remaining pieces of his sanity when the Lee boss smiled at him, but that smile was filled with venom. 

“I guess this marriage is useless. If my son is so willing to act like a rebel against it. I didn’t want to hurt him. I’ve hurt him enough in the past.” 

“I am aware.”

“You have no idea.” The man cut Chan off and his expression became serious again. “He might hate me, boy, but I want him to live. His mother wanted that as well.” He said and his hand disappeared somewhere down and Chan’s heart started racing. 

He gripped the gun in his right hand, feeling the sweat on his palm, but his how was strong and he knew that he literally had seconds to shoot Felix’s father before he did that. 

What he didn’t expect was to see the man pulling out a box, not a gun. And he threw that box towards Chan. The boy woke up fast from his stupor and grabbed it before it could hit the ground, dropping his left gun carelessly on the ground. 

He picked the box with a frown on his face and looked at it, then at Felix’s father, and his heart started racing. 

“What….”

“Felix doesn’t love anyone. But he loved his mother. She died because of me and i would never let him follow the same fate. What are you willing to do…. To keep him alive?” The man asked and Chan shook his head, losing all of his words suddenly. 

“Everything.” He mumbled and the man screwed his eyes. 

“Louder. I wanna hear the man that you became, not the boy who doesn’t know why he came here so bravely, even when he knew that i can kill him with one order.” 

“I … I will do everything to keep him alive.” Chan repeated, this time louder and the man seemed satisfied by his reply. 

“Open the box now.” He ordered and Chan had to let go of his other gun in order to do that. 

He struggled in making that decision, but something about that man was making him feel secure and he stepped closer to his desk, resting the beautiful gun down. 

His shaky hands held the black box and he opened it slowly, facing the most beautiful ring that his eyes had ever seen. The realization of that made him stare dumbly at the object and everything around him lost sense for a moment. It was a silver ring, surrounded by silver dragon. A beautiful design. 

“This ring is a family treasure. Something with value for us. It was a ring that every heir wore during their powerful years. During their life.” The man said and Chan looked up distractedly, frowning at him. 

“But you are not dead…”

“I want him to have it. I want him to feel powerful. I want him to bond and love someone. If he lets you give it to him, then I will accept your feelings.” The man explained and Chan felt as if someone slapped him on the face. 

“You want me to…. You…”

“Felix is not capable of feelings. You won’t be the first one to try having his heart. But you might be the last one. Don’t keep your hopes up, boy. You might be disappointed of how heartless he grew up to be.” The Lee man said and leaned back in his chair, rolling his eyes down at the gun rested on his desk. “Beautiful design. I remember how much you wanted this. Pretty little killer. I was surprised that you can be as dedicated as you proved me you can be. Now go. And never let your guard down. I could blow up your head any second, reckless boy.”

Chan closed the box and put it in his jeans, grabbing both of the guns so he could attach them close to his body again and he bowed to the man, not knowing what else to say. 

His goodbye came out short and shaky and he just turned around, flying out of that room like his life depended on it. 

And the second when he stepped out of that room, his heart started pounding in his chest while his words came out too fast. 

“Where is Felix?” He heard himself ask but his emotions were too strong right now that he let his feet lead him aside to the room that the guard pointed to and he didn’t even realize that he ran towards it until he was breathless. 

It was absurd. This whole thing was absurd. 

He had no idea that he would get in that room and receive a blessing from the most powerful boss in the underground. Not like this… not after Felix displayed his concerns about his father more than once. 

Was it true that Felix had no idea that his dad actually loves him? Would he ever believe that if Chan tells him? Would he accept that ring if he just asks him to be with him? 

His body started shaking when he stopped in front of that door and hesitated, walking around in mad circles. Felix would never accept him. 

And since when was Chan admitting the feelings that he hardly tried to keep back? Since when was he turning into jelly because of the thought of being with this boy that he wanted to have for months? 

He figured that Felix had a special place in his fucked up heart and for once, Chan wanted to take care of someone. For once he wanted to change for someone. He wanted to stop doing drugs because of someone. He wanted to take care of himself because of someone. 

But he had never gotten a reply from Felix… whenever he asked him something intimate, the boy just shut him down or threatened that he would leave. 

He really left, more than once. He proved Chan that he was fine without him. 

But what if he was just holding back because of that fear that he had? Because he was scared to love people, just because they could die. 

Chan knocked on the door and got inside, seeing how a man in a white uniform was standing in front of Felix, bandaging his ribs. He looked curiously at Chan, then back at Felix and Felix nodded a single time. The doctor smiled and pulled away from him, passing Chan by silently. He left the room and closed the door behind his back, leaving Chan alone with his fears. 

His eyes landed on Felix and he looked back at him so beautifully, wearing that curious expression on his face as if he had no idea how that conversation with his father went. 

He would never guess…. 

“I’m freaking out.” Chan confessed, making it sound as a joke, but it wasn’t. He really felt like that. 

“What happened?” Felix asked and motioned with his hand to Chan to come closer to him. “Are you okay, you seem really… terrified?”

Chan pulled away from the door and walked closer to him, standing in front of him like a big baby who had no idea how to handle situations that didn’t include violence. But one look at Felix made his heart beat again and he reached out to caress his cheek, going slow with the information. 

“I killed your guard. I figured that he was there because your dad wanted to test my loyalty. So I shot him in the head and he liked it.” He said and laughed nervously. “He told me about your marriage as well. It was meant to be with my… with my sister.”

“Meant to be…” Felix mumbled. “Like, that thing with the guard doesn’t surprise me, but why did he talk to you about my marriage?”

“Because he cancelled it.” Chan replied and bit the side of his lip, moving his fingers down until he held Felix’s chin in a soft hold. “He wants you to be happy and… and …”

“What happened to you in there? You can’t even make a proper sentence!” Felix whined and slapped Chan’s hand away from his face.

The other got angry at himself when that happened and looked away, shaking nervously in front of that boy. Felix had everything in control. He had him in control. He had their relationship or whatever the hell that was, in control. He could drop down everything whenever he gets angry and Chan was not sure if he would get a good reaction if he showed him that he now held the family ring in his pocket and was about to give it to him. 

Such romantic crap was not designed for a damaged soul like him. Chan was never good at expressing feelings, in talking about the future, because he couldn’t predict if he would live for another day. A guy like him was threatened to get killed from literally every corner. He could die on the ring in Demonium, he could die while dealing with his family duties. 

Wasn’t that what Felix feared the most? To lose another person that he loves? 

Love… 

Was he really unable to love?

“I … love you.” He said, holding a strong posture even when his mind was cracking and he was one step closer from losing his dignity once again because of this person. 

“What…” Felix just gaped at Chan. He was caught by surprise, although he was sure Chan was holding onto him so hard not because he simply had a crush on him. Felix wasn’t lovable, he did everything in his power to push Chan away. This was ridiculous. “Are you serious?”

Chan sighed and decided to make it worse. His growing anger made him stronger and he pulled out the box from his pocket, keeping Felix under his gaze. 

“Your fathers knows about us. What can be possibly worse than that?” He replied ironically and shook his head, slowly realizing that he would get himself kicked in the ass one more time. This time probably forever. He opened the box in front of Felix’s face and let him look at the ring while he kept talking to him. “He gave me this. He gave me permission to be close to you. Felix, if you… if you want me, just take it.”

“Chan.” Felix started and grabbed the hand that was holding the box with the ring. “You know the answer to that, right?” He looked at the other with his piercing gaze, and all the worry and confusion from earlier was replaced by that cold stare that graced every single person in Felix’s life. “ I don’t want to be mean to you…”

Chan felt how his heart bounced in his chest, but he was too distracted to care about the rejection. He was angry, not at himself for confessing so carelessly after he got himself rejected more times that he could count, but angry at Felix for never accepting him. 

“Am I too fucking disturbed for you? What, I don’t meet your expectations because i wake up with weed and fall asleep with other drugs?” He asked ironically and gripped the box, showing Felix that he wasn’t willing to let go. “You know that i want you. I told you like fucking hundred times but you just wanna stick to the basic. You wanna have me whenever you feel like it. Okay, but you got me… permanently. What are you gonna do with me? Come on, sweety you can make this decision. You can get this fucking ring. Please.” He let the last word slip through his lips with such desperation that he couldn’t recognize himself. 

“I don’t want to fucking watch you die! Not cuz of your fucking drugs, or cuz you get killed during one of your jobs. I don’t even feel the need to see you, but I feel like the more we meet, the more you believe we’re bonding.. And you try to deceive me that I can love you as well?? I can’t.” Felix almost shouted at him. He tried to control himself, but Chan was being too much and he could feel himself shaking with anger. “I don’t want you.” He said with his last breath of anger and slapped the box out of Chan’s hand.

Trying one more time it won’t hurt, right? 

Chan’s eyes followed the ring when it jumped out of the box and hit the ground, bouncing a few times. It laid down after a moment and Chan figured that he wouldn’t go as low as the ring was right now. His ego was crushed again and he had no idea why he was standing this freaking behavior when he could just walk away and do as Felix told him to. 

To stop believing that they were bonding. 

“Cool. I guess you just can’t fucking make a decision so let me make it easy for you. I won’t bother myself to be so fucking pathetic again. Remember my words. You can stick my love in your ass because you won’t get any from me.” He said in his anger, stepping back from Felix and turned his back at him, leaving behind everything that he was keeping for this boy. 

His head was full of Felix, his heart was beating because of him, but in that moment of weakness, Chan figured that he had an escape plan. Something that would get his mind away from Felix and help him get over him faster. 

Drugs. Drugs were always helping. 

***

When Chan left the room Felix picked up the ring and put it back in the box. He wasn’t sure why his dad gave that to Chan so for the meantime he decided to keep the ring with him and see what he can do about the situation. He knew that if his father gave that ring to Chan, he trusts him. But why? Even more, if he knew about them, why didn’t he say anything to Felix and just talked to Chan? He didn’t even ask Felix if he wanted Chan. 

Felix was quick to leave the room after that and go to his own. He really wanted to lay down in his bed and fall asleep. He didn’t want to think about Chan and how stupid he was for ruining everything. They would be cuddling if he didn’t talk about love and shit. It’s not like Felix didn’t tell him what he thinks about love. 

It was scary that Chan was getting to him in that way. He made himself a spot in Felix’s mind and no matter how hard he tried to deny it, he knew he cared about that idiot, and that wasn’t good. It wasn’t good for Felix. He prefered to never hear of Chan again, than get a call with the new he dreaded. His body hit the mattress of his bed and he released a sigh, that wasn’t one of content. He felt restless and he couldn’t get himself to relax. As if he was waiting for something terrible to happen. 

He spent his time trying to fall asleep since the guy in the medical wing told him he needs rest, but he kept tossing and turning and feeling anger every time he saw Chan’s face in his head. He almost praised God when his phone rang, until he saw the caller ID.

“You didn’t take too long…” He said when he picked up.

“Felix, hey.” The other said, sounding ridiculously calm for someone who stormed out of that room angry few hours ago. “I wanted to hear your voice.”

“Did you get something wrong? Why are you acting like we’re dating?” Felix kept being annoying and sounded a lot more disinterested than he actually was.

“Thanks to that hooker that I once protected in my quarters, I got a really nice drug.” Chan said and Felix heard his laughter. “I overdosed, sweety. I can feel it. If that’s how people feel when they take five lines. I was talking to myself a few minutes ago, since i didn’t dial your number.”

“I don’t even know why I hooked up with you… I always hear about you doing shit… You’re not good for me.” Felix whispered the last words, but he was already getting cozy by hearing Chan’s stupid voice. “You’re kidding, right?” 

“I remember five lines, but the pack is empty. I should probably get scared, right?” The other said and sighed, ending up laughing again. “What would you do if I die? Would you regret not kissing me at your house? You can come kiss me now. I got high and i still feel you.”

Felix was already getting out of his bed running down the halls to the medical wing of the mencion, when he realized that Chan might have actually done what he said he did. He was trying to sound calm and not indicate anything to Chan. “No. I wouldn’t. If you die, it’ll only prove that you didn’t deserve me in the first place.” He said and squeezed his phone hard. At this point he was completely aware of the bullshit he was speaking, but he didn’t want to show weakness. “I did well by protecting myself.” He pushed the door of the cabinet opened and covered the speaker of his phone. 

“I need you to come with me. I think we have an OD case.” He told his medic and went back to Chan. “You there?”

“You really just need my dick and that’s all” The other replied, sounding more slow than he did a few seconds ago. “Felix, who will protect me? I need you, you know? But you keep pushing me no matter what I do.”

Chan was being too cruel for Felix to handle this situation. He promised Felix to protect him, and keep him safe, but there he was - dying. He was putting the blame on Felix for not trying to protect him, when he was already out of his house, barefoot, with the medic of his family trying to save that idiot. Chan was really oblivious.

“I’m coming sweetie, just stay awake for me, okay?” He finally said, his voice was so shaky, the medic was giving him weird looks. He probably felt weird about Felix going out wearing his PJs and no shoes, but he didn’t really question it. All he had to do was go with him and do his job. 

“You are coming?” Chan asked. “Why? I don’t think i can use my dick right now. Felix, really, just stay there. Don’t make me worry. Your dad said that people wanna kill you. I can’t… walk out right now.”

“Didn’t you say you need me?” Felix asked quietly, trying not to speak loud enough for the medic to hear. They were sitting in his car, and Felix might have violated a few of the driving laws, but that wasn’t his biggest problem at the moment, especially when he had killed people.

“I did?” Chan replied, sounding like he wasn’t aware of that and he stopped talking for a few seconds. “Sweety, I wanna stop talking shit to you. I know that you got angry at me, I got angry at you but it's always like that. I can’t ask of you to change. Have a good night, okay?”

“No, don’t hang up.” Felix almost shouted and that startle the medic beside him. “Talk to me!”

“Felix, let me go.” Chan replied from the other side. 

“No!” Felix shouted and hit the gas pedal. “Please, don’t…”

“Don’t be weird now, it makes me think….” Chan replied, but stopped talking again, this time not coming back to the conversation.

“Chan, are you there?” Felix asked frantically, but he didn’t hear any reply. Luckily, he was pulling up by Chan’s apartment building. “I think he’s unconscious.” Felix informed the poor person who had the luck to work for his family. He blinked a few times, chasing away the tears that were threatening to come out and took a deep breath. “Like, it’s really important you save him.”

“I always do my best.” Is all got as a reply, before he lead the way to Chan’s home. 

He wasn’t sure how they would get in, but he was ready do break the fucking door if he had. However, Chan didn’t really care about that apparently, because the door was unlocked when Felix turned the knob. It was quiet and dark inside, but the calm atmosphere didn’t bring any piece to Felix. He didn’t realize he was shaking until he felt the medic’s hand on his shoulder. 

“Calm down, kid.” He said and patted his shoulder lightly. 

He walked further into the apartment and saw Chan laying on the couch in the living room area. He looked peaceful, his face was so relaxed, Felix almost forgot he was actually dying. He had never seen him this calm and he was torn between admiring him and running over to him and shaking him awake. 

“Ch-chan..” he said weakly and walked over to him. “Chan…” He fell on his knees next to couch and caressed Chan’s face with his shaking hand. “Chan… please… you can’t do this…” He kept whispering to himself.

“You should let me check him.” The medic said calmly while Felix was showing himself in a moment of weakness in front of him. “I think he’ll be fine.”

“You must save him…” Felix said again, and this time he didn’t bother wiping or hiding his tears. “Oh my god….” He looked at the guy opening his first aid kid something bag and taking out things from there. He really hoped Chan could get better. 

“Chan… if you wake up… I’ll do it.” He said cryptically, and the medic gave him a weird look, but didn’t intrude too much. He just attended to his work quietly.

***

There were moments in his life that made him feel like he had been locked in a dark room for such a long time, that seeing something bright felt weird for the first time. 

The plain white ceiling was hurting his eyes ever since he opened them and tried to move, realizing that he wasn’t on his bed. 

The fear of losing control over his body made him anxious for a while. The fact that he couldn’t lift his limbs traumatized his senses and he felt like he was sweating. 

He wasn’t only sweating, he was shaking. 

Cold, deadly sweat that he wasn’t aware of before he opened his eyes. 

Chan realized that he was in a hospital, attached to a freaking hospital bed, probably having an IV bag plugged in his vein to clear the trash that he put in his system the previous night. 

The slight tremors were just prove that he reached the limit of his drug use and that he had to put an end to it, before it put an end of him. 

He didn’t dare to look around, because he hated how white these rooms where, representing something that Chan never understood. Why would these hospital rooms be so bright when in some cases, like a gun shot for example, they were getting dirty by blood? 

He spent some quality time in just staring at the ceiling before he started feeling his body again. 

Chan moved his toes, which was good, he moved his fingers as well, but his left hand was deprived of movements and that took his attention. 

Was he knocked out for too long? Was he asleep, in coma? Dead? 

His tired eyes rolled to his left side and he tried to focus on the person who was holding his hand. His father? No chance… probably Junsu, or Changbin, Jisung maybe? They would be worried if their friend was knocked out by drug.

But when his vision started to clear, Chan saw the top of blonde head. The way that it looked so messy and soft made him stare more as he slowly started to realize that none of his closest friends were blonde. 

And a more careful look at the hand that held his let Chan know of a certain silver ring, surrounded by a dragon, looking so delicate and light, but holding power of a family who were known for their guns, money and hard attitude. 

Who would guess that the most heartless one of them would be asleep, face stuck in a hospital bed, while he holds his drug addict as if he would never wake up?

Chan’s heart moved and he could feel himself excited. Some people would call him crazy, but those were just people who didn’t know what he had been though. 

He wanted to talk to Felix, but when he opened his mouth, his voice came out dry and weak. 

“Felix, hey…” He said, trying again while his thumb responded to the gentle hold of the other and he caressed the ring with his thumb. “I’m alive, stupid.”

Felix couldn’t fall asleep for a very long time after they brought Chan to the hospital, and after that he asked the medic to bring him the ring. So he was still staying there in his Pjs and bare feet. He easily heard Chan when he started speaking because of course he was too tensed to fall into a deep sleep. 

“Chan?” He mumbled and rose his head up to make sure he wasn’t hearing things. When he saw the other’s stupid face staring at him his hands immediatelly reached out to grab Chan’s face not so gently. “Oh my god…” Felix started blinking rapidly when he felt the forming tears in his eyes. “Are you okay? How do you feel?”

“Like I slept too much.” The other replied and smiled, feeling too tired to reach out and touch Felix’s face, but looking at it made him realize that he missed it. Chan missed him, even though he had no idea how long he had been in that room. He hoped that it wasn’t too long, because his body would lose shape and he had no time to build up abs again. “Sorry for making you worry. You look worried, are you okay?”

“Promise me you won’t do this again…” Felix looked at Chan with such tired eyes that he wasn’t sure if Chan would understand his words properly. “I can’t lose you… I don’t wanna lose you, and you promised you’ll protect me… please, stay with me?”

“I must be still high.” Chan mumbled, but his eyes were following the boy’s lips and he was really saying all of that. His heart made a weird flip and he felt a heavy feeling in his stomach suddenly, probably when more of his senses started to wake up and he could feel everything that he tried to kill. Every feeling that was dull for a while, every emotion, fear, disappointment. It was all back and Chan smiled, wondering how bad he looked if he managed to scare Felix like that. 

“You wear the ring.” He stated and put much effort to move his left hand and take Felix’s one back in it, caressing the ring again while his eyes stared all over that beautiful face. “Why? There is no chance that you changed your mind. You were very clear with me.”

“I didn’t change my mind.” Felix looked down too embarrassed to admit it. “I… didn’t know, that I can’t actually lose you. And if you’d do weird shit when I’m not around you then I’d make sure to be around and make your life fucking hell as long as you don’t do drugs and don’t get yourself killed.”

“Is this your weird way of committing to me?” Chan asked, trying to sound cheerful, but these words reached him too fast and in this unstable state of mind, he actually felt emotional. His vision got blurred while he smiled at Felix, admiring him for being the same bipolar bastard who would never admit his fall. “If you don’t speak about your feelings for once, i swear i will make sure that next time I won't wake up. I need you. But you have to tell me. What do you feel for me?”

“I don’t know…” Felix frowned. “I never felt love for anyone… I can’t know if I love you or if I just really enjoy your company… It’s like… if you die… I’d probably die as well… I really hated the last two days while you were unconscious. I didn’t leave the hospital, I didn’t take a shower… I’m not wearing any shoes…”

“And you’re still damn stunning.” Chan said and winked at him, laughing weakly at his own bullshit as if he didn’t hear what Felix just confessed to him. It was enough for him to know that this damaged boy cares about him. He made a sacrifice to stay in the same clothes for two days and wear no shoes. Felix, the guy who never came out of his freaking suits and white shirts. Chan tried to move again, making space for the other and no matter how hard his body seemed to cooperate, he forced it to work again. “Come here, you can calm down now and take a nap with me.”

“I can’t sleep I’m too excited to see you awake. Like, I just want to look at you, I’m sorry I’m being weird.” Felix flushed red, and he almost smacked himself for that.

“God, this is the first time when you do this.” Chan watched him as if he was a weird form of life, something that he was seeing for the first time, but to watch Felix blush like that was so rare that when it happened now, he forgot that he was weak and started pulling the boy closer to himself. “Come on, I did so much for you. It's time for you to start doing everything for me. Like… cook for me. Kiss me when I tell you to do it, tell me how sexy i am even if i look like shit, forbid drugs, call me daddy, suck my dick. Very simple.”

Felix looked away, as if he was a fifteen year old on a first date. There was something about Chan that was bothering him so much. “Okay…” He said quietly and waited for the commotion that was about to come after his confirmation.

“Okay?” Chan asked, staring at him curiously. He didn’t get a rejection? He didn’t get scolded? The strong emotion that shook him pushed away the sleep and he felt sudden energy to move, which made him wrap around Felix like a desperate idiot and his lips started kissing his cheek repeatedly. “You can… start with a kiss. And then we can work on the other things.”

Felix pulled away from Chan amd blinked a few times before gathering the courage to ask probably the stupidest question in the world. “That’s okay… just give me some time… but I want to ask something…. Are we like… boyfriendsnow?” He said the last part quickly fighting his embarrassment. He wasn’t the kinds to get shy, but opening to Chan wasn’t doing him any good apparently. 

And the stupid question made Chan wonder what happened to the cold person who shut him down two days ago and kicked his dignity away like he always loved to do? How come that Felix suddenly moved on the same cloud that Chan was sitting and started seeing the world from the same angle that he did? 

Did he really get that scared of losing the only idiot who chased after him for months, giving him everything that he never wanted? 

“You took my ring. You’re my fiance, sweety. I got you in my trap this time.” He replied and stared at Felix, realizing the power that his own words had. “God, I must get back in shape. I must protect you better. I must keep you safe, happy, loved. Do you trust me?”

“My dad wants you to marry me?” Felix gasped at the realization. “Oh my god… that’s unexpected…” He mumbled to himself. “Well, you know I trust you.”

“Your dad wants you to be happy.” Chan replied and leaned closer to his face, giving him a serious look. “I think i asked you to kiss me. We can talk about everything later.”

“You’re not gonna think I’m too clingy or too demanding or too annoying if I change, right?” Felix stared back at Chan still not complying with him request. 

“No. And you won’t forbid me to attend my fights at the ring, right?” Chan asked back and moved even closer, stealing a soft kiss from Felix’s full lips. 

Felix’s eyes widened when he remembered about Chan’s terrible hobby. “Do you really have to do it. I don’t want them to wreck your pretty face.” Felix leaned closer to Chan’s face and rubbed their noses together. “Don’t you want to stay with me instead?”

“I would love doing that. But if i’m about to sacrifice weed and boxing, then you must sacrifice something as well.” Chan said and started laughing, keeping the distance between them like that when a burst of feelings made him feel warm from inside. “You know what I mean, baby.”

“I said fucking fine. Stop annoying me.” Felix whined and pulled away from Chan.

“Okay, your majesty, calm down. I’m not done with you yet.” The other replied and caught him up quickly before he could go back to his previous seat on the chair beside the bed. 

When Chan kissed him again, he felt satisfaction. As if he won the best fight, as if he shot his biggest enemy, as if he got this sexy and untouchable boy who swore that he had no feelings for him. 

The first two he did a long time ago, the last one was currently happening and no matter how cold Chan was before he met Felix, this boy helped him find a side of life that he was ignoring because of the way that he was born, the place that he called home, the work that he was forced to do. 

He was still a killer. He killed a guy two days ago and tried killing himself as well. 

But he knew that if he had this boy here, the Lee Felix that he searched on like a stalker months ago, he would be okay. 

Time would heal Felix as well and who knows, maybe one day he was going to hear ‘I love you too’, when he expressed that new emotion for his fiance. 

And that was enough for him to become stronger. 

Better version of himself. 

END.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The second fic about this lovely pair is up <3


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